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Sunday, August 5, 2012

REVIEW OF TOTAL RECALL (2012)














About The Movie:


Douglas Quaid (presently played by Colin Ferrell)
is the average factory worker, a blue-collar dude who married his high school
sweetheart Lori (Kate Beckinsale)
and lives day to day within the confines of the world’s limited inhabitable
space – most of the planet was decimated by nuclear warfare, you see, and the
only places left to live are the ultra-posh United Federation of Britain (the
British Isles and most of main land Europe) or the dreg-ridden The Colony
(Australia). Unhappy with his seemingly happenstance existence, Quaid gets the
itch to get away and decides to go to Rekall, a company that implants your
brain with memories. When he does go, he is interrupted by the cops and
unwittingly yet quite efficiently kills them all. He runs home to tell his
wife, who tries to kill him. And so starts the journey of Quaid figuring out
that he is really an intelligence operative who had his mind wiped to eliminate
him as a threat. With the help of his former partner (Jessica Biel) Quaid tries
to restore himself to his former glory a freedom fighter against the big baddie
capitalist Cohaagen (the incomparable 
Bryan Cranston).


What Is Good About The Movie:



The best thing that can be said about this movie is that it was kind of
cool. There’s a pretty cool chase scene that involves plausibly futuristic
magnetically levitated cars and a handful of crafty and hard-hitting
hand-to-hand combat bits. 


There is actually a pretty clever gag, involving Obama.





The cars can fly.






What Is Bad About The Movie:




As Hollywood
seems less and less willing to craft fresh and unique ideas to entertain its
massive audience, the word “remake” has become increasingly dreaded especially
as even the effort to make such movies any good wanes exponentially; and I was
VERY excited for this movie but it didn’t deliver.




Besides the fact that the movie dragged on for TOO long (it was 2hr 1 min long to be exact) I have a few issues with this movie and they are:





Mars
doesn't come into play at all. Instead, Earth's air supply has gotten so toxic
that there are only two remaining inhabitable places: the United Federation of
Britain and the Colony. The Colony is basically treated like Mars though;
they're on the verge of being wiped out by the Federation, who are desperate to
steal the Colony's real estate.



There are no mutants. Everyone is just boring, ordinary-looking humans... well,
ordinary in the sense that when Quaid and Lori wake up in the morning, they are
the chiseled, perfectly-styled Colin Farrell and Kate Beckinsale.



Since there are no mutants, that means there is no Kuato. Instead, the leader
of the Resistance is some guy named Matthias, who's just a regular human
without psychic powers.



Remember Quaid's friend Harry, the fat, bald, blue-collar guy who tells him not
to go to Rekall? That part is played by the handsome, buff Bokeem Woodbine.
Remember Dr. Edgemar, the fat, wormy spokesman for Rekall who messes with
Quaid's mind by telling him that its all a dream? That part is also played by
the handsome, buff Bokeem Woodbine.



Remember Michael Ironside's character of Richter, the right-hand man to
Cohaagen, who has a personal axe to grind with Quaid and would rather kill him
than capture him? That part is gone. Instead, Kate Beckinsale basically acts
like Michael Ironside -- instead of Sharon Stone -- as she just keeps trying to
kill Quaid.



Quaid doesn't use a hologram duplicate to trick people who are shooting at him.






There is no character of Benny, the wise-cracking, two-timing taxi driver.



There are no make-up or animatronic effects; instead there is a lot of CGI.



Replace all the fistfights with flying car pursuits and elevator shaft chases.






The tracking bug is in Quaid's hand, not his head, so we don't get to see Colin
Farrell grimace as he pulls
a weird, futuristic gadget out of his nose.



There is a lot more jumping.


They don't
use the phrase "total recall" at all during the film.



Unlike the original, you know what's going to happen in each scene.





This new Recall is
dull and dragging and hapless and offensive to it predecessor. A remake was NOT needed! 





Overall Grade:


C-

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