Can someone tell me how SO many gay folks can take pride
in the things that divide us and no comfort in the things that define us? As a gay man living in one of the most socially liberal
times, I’m often amazed by other gay men’s reactions whenever an individual dare
admit to being physically and emotionally attracted to both men and women. How can we gay men have that “I’ve had the
nerve to come out and be fully gay, why can’t you attitude?”
There’s a common
misconception about bisexuality, that it’s merely a two way station on the journey
to self-acceptance. And for some that may be true; and while the term “bisexual” may be transitional or
temporary for MANY questioning,
contemplating, exploring or fearing their sexuality, for many it’s a lasting
identity. So why is the concept met with such resistance from both gay and
straight communities? It’s seen throughout history. In ancient Greek society
boys commonly slept with other boys until they married women, and many scholars
consider Dionysus to be the bisexual archetype.
But even with those
facts in hand, people cannot get beyond the need to see people as one thing or
the other. This is ironic, because while bisexuality as a concept may seem vague,
many bisexuals are absolutely clear about their orientation. Consider how some
straight people say they just don’t understand how one man can be sexually
attracted to another man, and yet that doesn’t matter; straight people don’t
have to “get it,” the fact is that
homosexuals exist. The same argument can be used for bisexuals. Just because a
gay person doesn’t understand how a man/woman
could be attracted to both a man and a woman, doesn’t matter; I feel those
feelings do exist. When will you?
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