Reduced down
to parody, it plays as a sort of proto-reality TV scene (like a less
systemically problematic COPS). As the framework for this
week’s All Stars challenge, it’s camp.
Before we even
get to the challenge, though, the real gossip is what’s going around the
workroom. It begins with the weekly tallying of the lipsticks, and, let me just
say, I am so glad production just hands them the box instead of relying on the
girls to disclose their votes based on their word alone.
Shea wants to
know who’s responsible for the two lipsticks with her name on them, and Mayhem
and Alexis are quick to claim responsibility. They’re not so forthcoming with
their reasoning, however, as they both defer to their close relationship with
Mariah as to why they voted for Shea. Meanwhile, in the confessional, Mayhem
spills that she had suspected the rest of the girls would also want to knockout
the strongest competition, but her strategy “backfired.”
Simmering
conflict might come in handy this week, as the gals will be teamed up for an
improv challenge filming for SheMZ. (For a cute little twist, the
queens also play the SheMZ staff pitching stories. The gag?
They’re all in boydrag wearing baseball caps, so you know they’re butch.) Less
clear is why Carson is serving us such Paul Lynde realness as his Harvey Levin
character, but I digress.
The first
team, comprised of Alexis and Shea, are cast as dueling fired Fake
Housewives caught together at lunch. Ross portrays a cameraman ambushing
the pair, and they take the scene from there. As an avid Housewives fanatic
myself, I feel like they miss a lot of notable hallmarks from that universe (no
mention of charity work, no wine throwing, no real estate-based accusations,
etc.). Shea does her best to rein in Alexis’ energy, but the two mostly engage
in escalating stunts (pregnancies! wig-snatching! love triangle!) until the
whole scene devolves into a food fight.
India and
Mayhem have even less luck. The premise provided is India is a troubled celeb
with a little shoplifting habit, and Mayhem is a shopkeep that caught her in
the act. The conflict escalates until India takes the scene in a whole new
direction by confessing she’s a “licker” and proceeding to lick a donut. Now, I
get the Ariana Grande reference, but neither queen seems to have any idea where
this whole lick kink thing is going, so it just sort of sputters to its
eventual conclusion of both queens licking glass off the pavement. Haha?
It almost
feels unfair that Jujubee and Cracker landed in the same team (and very lucky
for Blair!). The clever queens are ideal scene partners. Tasked with portraying
the cover-up of a college admissions scandal, Cracker comes prepared with some
A+ jokes, including one-liners and precise pop-culture references that honor
the premise. Jujubee is ready for Harold night, because she’s an expert improviser. My
favorite thing about her performance is how she reacts to what her partners are
saying. You can see every other queen thinking of what they’re going to say
next, but Juju always seems in the moment. It lends a real nice layer of
believability to the scene, which makes all the absurdity hit harder. No knock
on Blair here. She more than kept up with her partners and wisely kept to a
character well within her range.
Prepping for
the camo-themed runway, Blair takes centerstage opening up about her own brush
with the blogarrazzi a few years back. She was busted with a DUI, and the story
spread online.
After Blair’s
vulnerability, Mayhem speaks up to share about her DUIs and experiences being
arrested while in drag. It’s a really complex conversation that covers not only
some of the systemic issues we’re currently examining with the police, but also
the ever-present drug culture that permeates the nightlife scene. It’s a short
conversation here, but an important one.
Joining the
judges this week is Modern Family actress Sarah Hyland, who
proudly claims she’s a “true East Village hoodrat queen.” I just don’t know if
you get the same cultural cachet growing up in the East Village post-Giuliani,
you know?
Regardless,
she’s got some pretty decent critiques for the queens. Shea and Blair manage to
squeak by to safety. Alexis gets a note about not listening to her partner
enough. (I wonder if this will come into play in next week’s Snatch
Game of Love …) Both Jujubee and Cracker get tons of praise on the
runway, with Cracker ultimately getting the win. India and Mayhem land in the
bottom for a scene they both had a hand in sinking.
Deliberations
are pretty straightforward, since Mayhem seems resigned to pack her bags and
not throw India under a bus. Unfortunately, India has no such reservations,
blaming the poor performance almost exclusively on Mayhem. (For what it’s
worth, and maybe unsurprisingly, I thought Mayhem was the stronger of the two
in the improv.)
Cracker comes
out for the lip sync looking like something between Queen Elsa from Frozen and
the Night King on Game of Thrones. She’s up against Morgan
McMichaels as this week’s assassin, and it seems a bit like a lopsided contest.
I know it’s personal preference, but I’d rather see Cracker get campy than try
to be sultry.
Of course,
it’s hard not to rely on sex when you’re up there with Morgan McMichaels, a
queen that oozes so much sex she practically sweats Swiss Navy silicone.
Cracker does a few gymnastic tricks and brings a little humor in at the end,
but the real highlight is when Morgan uses her opponent’s leg as a Skip-It
while Cracker breakdanced.
Surprisingly,
Ru rules this a double-win, meaning two queens could potentially be sent home.
Though, when the lipsticks come out, both Cracker and the crowd voted for
Mayhem.
Next week is
Snatch Game of Love, and I don’t have high hopes for some of these girls!
(India. I’m talking about India.)
But before we
get there, let’s check our standings. Share your rankings in the comments!
1.
A real three-way race is emerging,
with Jujubee slightly pulling ahead of her top competitors.
Many believe the beloved Drag Race vet was twice robbed of
an All Stars crown, so it would feel like some kind of justice
to see her in the Hall of Fame. So far, she’s been expertly prepared without
coming off too calculating. And, it seems like she’s just as skilled at playing
the political game around the workroom. I agree with the judges that her camo
runway could’ve used just a little something more, but her improv was so pro,
it hardly matters. Now, her previous celeb impressions on Drag Race (Kimora
Lee Simmons and Fran Drescher) weren’t terribly memorable, but something tells
me Juju will have something up her sleeve this time.
2.
Shea is already on the bounce back after last week’s scare. She
squeaked by with a so-so improv, and I didn’t love her runway as much as I
wanted to. I almost wish it wasn’t so monochromatic. Against the the backdrop
of blue stagelights, the camo almost did its job too well.
Next week can be the week that Shea re-establishes her dominance, as long as
she brings something stronger than her season nine Snatch, Naomi Campbell.
3.
Cracker is creeping up the rankings with another strong performance this
week. She drove the engine of her scene and was wise enough to show up to the
“improv” with some jokes prepared. I like Cracker at her campiest, so this
week’s sexy camo runway and sensual lip sync left me wanting. Still, I’m happy
to see Cracker mix it up on- and off-stage (though I had a hard time following
her conflict with Blair). Cracker came to play, but can she out-slay Shea
Coulee? (Say that five times fast.)
4.
Alexis is this season’s wildcard, for sure. She’s one of those queens
that can crush a challenge by sheer force of personality. That makes it harder
for strategic queens to plan for each challenge. She’s pushing herself on the
runway, but I don’t really want high-concept from Alexis. Give me that big,
bright showgirl from this season’s premiere. As beautiful as the white camo
was, none of her personality was able to shine through.
5.
I wish Blair wasn’t safe,
because I’d love the judges’ thoughts on that runway. I feel like tree-themed
runways have a rough history on this show, but I loved this. I think it’s all
about the proportion. The high-waisted trunk effect, the slits in the pants to
emulate spreading roots, the exaggerated shoulders, the perfect amount of
adornment, I loved it all! Even the nude pump! Gorgeous. This Blair is much
more mature than the first go-’round, and I’ve really been enjoying her work.
Especially with the way eliminations work this season, Blair could easily find
herself in the top three if the gals decide to knockout a power player at some
point.
6.
If ever there was a week for a true double
elimination, I would’ve hoped it was this week. India was the
weaker half of her team for me. (Compare how Mayhem licked the donut to how
India — who didn’t even wear nails! — licked the donut.) However, this was my
favorite India runway look ever. I adored the dark palette; I loved the
slicked-back hair; I thought the black latex gave her some edge. More of this,
please! Less Lady Marmalade, more Fairuza Balk.
7.
Once Mayhem let her
negative attitude show in front of the judges, it was all over. Her camo runway
felt like half a concept. She insisted it was Black Barbie going to combat, but
it needed more G.I. Joe flavor. (I think adding a pink patrol cap and replacing
the chains with Rob Liefeld-esque utility pouches would’ve made a difference.)
She committed fully to every decision in her improv scene, and she can be a
very compelling performer. She just came up too short this week.
How would you
rank the queens?
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