I don’t know
about you, but my fragile state of mind couldn’t possible withstand such a
ruthless Drag Race coup as was teased Friday night on All
Stars. Had the ladies acted to oust this season’s (former?) frontrunner, it
would’ve been forever known as The Red Runway.
Luckily,
however, we got away with just a slight scare. It was a stark reminder just how
devastating this season’s twist has the potential to be. For an otherwise
lackluster episode, the edge-of-your-seat thrill of this week’s elimination
made up for an underwhelming main challenge.
Let’s breathe
a sigh of relief and recount all the ru-veals, ru-tique hotels and clashes over
lack of ru-spect that unfolded this week in our ru-, I mean REcap below.
Fresh off
Ongina’s exit, the gals agree she simply had to go. (A survey of the lipsticks
reveals a unanimous decision.) Ongina gave up on herself, so the girls agree
she didn’t belong. And yet, the following day, Alexis is quick to confront
Cracker for getting into Ongina’s head. This really should’ve been put to bed
when Cracker apologized to Ongina before everyone — Ongina included — voted to
send her off.
But the queens aren’t satisfied with Cracker’s contrition. So,
Miz mumbles out another explanation/apology, which even Mayhem is quick to call
b.s. on.
Cracker can’t
seem to catch a break, because later in the episode, Alexis stirs up a
kerfuffle after overhearing Cracker praise her teammates as queens she
respects. Alexis takes that to mean ipso facto Cracker doesn’t respect her.
Shea leaps to Cracker’s defense and the whole thing sizzles out … for now.
This week has
the girls working in teams once again. Strikingly similar to last All
Stars‘ “Queen of Clubs,” each team will be responsible for creating a
three-dimensional “experience.” Unlike the body-rockin’ nightclub of last
season, this time the ladies are creating a boutique lodging experience.
Now, it’s very
unclear exactly how much work the queens were responsible for. (Did they pick
out the furniture? Did they do all the painting? Was there anything in those
cocktail cups?) Ostensibly, this is a branding challenge, and each team takes a
different tact.
The smart
money first appears to be on Team Shea heading into this challenge. The talented
queen is paired with comedic Cracker and the promising Miss Mariah. The gals
flock to a Golden Girls-themed concept that mixes ’80s Miami glam
and old lady comforts. What ends up missing is any real connection to the Golden
Girls. The queens are loosely in character, but Shea and Mariah
particularly fail to capture Dorothy and Blanche’s essence. (Cracker is only
marginally better as a slightly dimmer version of Rose Nylund.) Michelle clocks
them for missing jokes, and I have to agree. It’s not that there are NO jokes
in their presentation, but none of them feel like the sort of signature snappy,
sitcom jokes that defined the series.
Alexis is
joined by India and Jujubee for an expedition into the jungle, baby, at the
Glamazone (Rawr!). It’s all pretty on-the-nose, save for Jujubee, who
casually shares stories of her grandmother’s work on the exotic, “handmade”
decor. It’s a funny running bit that Juju delivers with just the right amount
of bite to ensure the joke is on the luxury travelers oblivious of the source
of their goods and not on the laborers themselves.
The bit stands
out against Alexis and India’s lack of ideas. The former is able to coast
through the segment thanks to her personality and charms, but there’s not much
content there. India fares even worse, creating a moment dedicated to an
impossibly placed “golden shower head” that makes incredibly little sense. What
does the Golden Shower Head have to do with the jungle theme? Is it supposed to
work? Is the water yellow? (Please tell me it’s water.) Look, I’m not a
stranger to unconventional (and a little kinky) hotel experiences, but
I have some questions!
Finally,
Mayhem and Blair are a team again. Their concept is a 24-karat golden fantasy,
that’s part music video and part Trump Tower. It’s all gold everything, and the
queens spend their time orgasmically whispering about their monomaniacal
fascination with BEING RICH. It’s a looser concept than they get credit for,
and their planned bits feel a lot like dipping everything in gold and then
throwing it at the wall to see what sticks. My favorite part is when Blair
pushes Michelle to quantify exactly how rich she feels in their luxurious
sheets, and the best Michelle can muster through giggles is “The Richest?” It’s
a perfect example of how the “game” of this scene isn’t clear.
A
disappointing challenge led to a promising runway concept: three looks in one!
On its face, this sounds great. Who doesn’t love a reveal? The thing is, the
best part of the reveal is the SURPRISE. If you’re expecting the reveal, you’re
just watching someone get undressed.
We’ll discuss
the individual looks in the rankings below, but once the gals gathered on
stage, Ru made what I believe is an unprecedented move. She awarded Jujubee as
this week’s best performer, but Mayhem and Blair as the winning room. What does
that mean? Isn’t the WHOLE THING performance? That’s like saying Divina won
the make your own water challenge, but Baga’s tasted the best.
Who cares? None of it is real! Why have a winning team at all if that team
isn’t going to be the top for the week. The whole thing felt strange.
Here’s where
things get interesting. The bottom three end up being India and Mariah (for
failing to stand out) and Shea (for missing the jokes and a “crafty” colorful
moth runway). Going from being last week’s winner (and beating the lip sync
assassin) to being in danger of elimination is quite a turn of fortune for the
season favorite. To make matters even more complicated, the girls have the
opportunity to send home a major competitor, even if she may not be the most
deserving of the boot.
Throw into the
mix this week’s lip sync assassin is Monét X Change, and things start picking
up! Defying expectations, Monét makes a traffic-cone orange velour
figure-skating outfit look stunning. This should be assassin versus assassin,
plus the song is the crowd-pleasing self-love bop “Juice” by the fabulous
Lizzo. It’s going to be legendary.
Unfortunately,
Juju phones this one in, clearly bungling the words and giving the whole performance
maybe 40 percent. Monét, for what it’s worth, gives us a full performánce,
salvaging the minutes with a thoroughly entertaining lip sync.
Ru picks Monét
for the win, revealing the queen voted out by the other girls to be Mariah.
That’s another
queen down. Did they get it right? Let’s discuss in our rankings below, and
leave your thoughts in the comments!
1.
This week proved Shea isn’t invincible,
which gives Jujubee a slight edge. Seeing how quickly folks
are already considering wielding their voting power to punish their rivals,
Shea’s reputation may be a hindrance and create an opening for Jujubee to sneak
by. Jujubee was the funniest part of her team, and her holiday-themed triple
runway was a cute concept, though how the judges knock Shea for being costume-y
and not Juju’s literal costumes, I do not understand. That lip sync was a
bummer, and it almost made me consider if she threw it on purpose to not send
anyone home. Would that really be worth giving up the ten grand?
2.
Don’t expect Shea to
plummet too far down the rankings just yet. The Golden Girls concept
was strong, but the devil was in the details. The jokes (and even costuming)
needed some work to fully embody Dorothy. I really liked the metamorphosis
runway. The judges were less than impressed. I wonder if it’s the airbrush that
cheapened it. I always find airbrushed bodysuits to look really cheap, and
who’s to say it’s not giving Michelle Visage Jersey boardwalk PTSD?
3.
You can’t say Alexis didn’t
go for it with that circus runway. More than most, Alexis felt like she gave us
three really distinct looks, changing her hair and full outfit for each of the
three characters. I just don’t appreciate her taste level. It’s all too bright
and loud. Still, there’s an undeniable personality there that makes Alexis
magnetic. Even when she’s coming for Cracker, she’s doing so with a conviction
and assurance. She’s the anti-Ongina.
4.
One thing you can say about Blair is
that she understands the gravity of this opportunity. She’s come prepared, and
she’s not taking this second chance for granted. She’s elevated her drag and
polished her performance. Her triple runway was cute, and she committed fully
to every golden gag in the 24-karat room. She may be this season’s dark horse
if she can get her skills to the level of her ambition.
5.
Will there be redemption for Cracker?
More and more it seems like she’s being edited into this season’s villainess.
(Why? India is RIGHT THERE.) Unfortunately, I’m concerned Cracker’s habit of
getting too into her own head will feed off this increased scrutiny and only
further alienate her from the other girls. She was the strongest player on her
team this week, but that’s not saying much. Cracker is clever, there is no
doubt, but I always feel like her outfits are missing something. I liked the
Anastasia story she told, but each look just felt like it needed a few more
details. Maybe more of a statement shoe, elegant accessories, something.
6.
Mayhem needs to step up next week, or it may be too late to build
momentum. I feel like she had more jokes land than Blair during the challenge,
but I still wish there was more of a consistent narrative overall. She looked
beautiful by the end of her reveals on the runway, but the first two looks felt
more like preludes than co-headliners. It’s do or die time for Miss Miller.
7.
Mariah may not have ever made it to the end of the competition, but I
guess India’s first-week win gave her the edge in some girls’ minds in deciding
to spare Ms. Ferrah. This week, Mariah really missed the mark with Blanche,
serving all sex with no sass. She also walked a runway that seemed more like a
slow reveal of the final outfit, rather than three distinct moments. I had high
hopes Mariah would return and keep infusing social justice into her work, but
it doesn’t look like we’ll have the chance to see.
8.
Maybe that first performance earned enough
goodwill among the gals for India, but I would’ve dropped her
lipstick in the box. The queen claimed she was finally showing who India is,
and I’m still not sure who that is, myself. She was making choices with her
golden shower segment (like emphasizing “Golden Shower HEAD”) that just didn’t
add up. I liked the overall aesthetic of what she brought to the runway, but
the progression didn’t really tell a story. Using the same fabric for all three
looks made each reveal lose a little impact. I just can’t shake the feeling
she’s trying to do what an All Star would do and not acting like an All Star by
fully being India.
How would you
rank the queens?
SOURCE: TOWLEROAD
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