This idea
sounded good and it make sense,
but sometimes accolades can bring a feeling of dread, even shame. For some reason, many
of us believe, deep down, that we
aren’t deserving of what we get.
These feelings
have carried over into adulthood into our careers and relationships — where there’s already an ongoing struggle to maintain a healthy sense
of self-worth in an unequal environment. But trying to pinpoint where this
mental state comes from has been a struggle all its own.
There are many
who deeply feel that their achievements are undeserved. Because of this
phenomenon, no amount of credibility or accomplishments can fend off the
feelings of being a fraud and it’s certainly not just about class and gender.
Nonetheless , when you’re conditioned to believe that you shouldn’t be paid what you’re
worth, when you seldom see people who look like you represented as high
achievers, and when your peers imply you only got this far because of
affirmative action, that’s fertile ground for impostor syndrome to grow. This
is a factor that’s far too often ignored.
In order for us to address this feeling, we need to ask ourselves, “Do I deserve this more than the next
person, or is my privilege coming into play?” However, a lot of the mainstream
self-help advice suggests that we not question our achievements
precisely because it can sound like impostor syndrome.
I’d argue that
impostor syndrome actually makes it harder for people to check their privilege.
When we feel afraid of being “caught out” as a
fraud, we don’t want our accomplishments questioned.
Instinctively,
we get defensive instead of actually engaging
with our privilege, because acknowledging privilege
means accepting that maybe I am a fraud. It means that some
opportunities and accomplishments came about as result of discrimination
against others instead of my own qualifications.
Maybe if those
with privilege would question their achievements more often, it might bring
about more self-awareness, which might bring about more active support for
those who are marginalized.
How do you
tell the difference between impostor syndrome and the act of checking your
privilege? There are no easy answers to this. But instead of avoiding the
uncomfortable questions, we need to sit with them.
While it’s
important to work on our self-image, it’s also important to think about
impostor syndrome in the context of a society that is far from equal. We can’t
self-help our way out of oppression, but we can continue to achieve with the
right mindset.
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