In life, you may not always be able to get what you want…but does that mean you should just give up trying to get what you want when it comes to relationships?
It can be easy to fall into the
pattern of setting aside your needs, settling for less than what you truly
want, and minimizing your desires in order to please your partner in a
relationship. But where does that leave you?
It could leave you in a number
of places, none of which are good. If you’re constantly behaving from a place
of fear—fear that your partner might leave you, might yell at you, might
belittle you—then you’re not being true to yourself and your needs or desires. If
you feel like you are always dodging or walking on eggshells in order to avoid
conflict, that still means you’re acting out of fear.
Truthfully, it is possible to
get what you want in a relationship. There is one big thing you can do as well
as a few things to avoid in order to reach a place where you’re getting what
you want from a relationship.
If you feel you’re not currently getting what you want, starting with what not to do may help you understand where you are, so how you get what you want out of relationship?
It has taken me a lifetime to realize that if I'm not getting what I want out of a relationship - it is all my fault. Communication is everything... and frequently I operated in the past using magical thinking or simple wishing. Neither are as effective as being honest and upfront about your needs. It's that simple. I don't need to do that much, but when I find myself growing frustrated, I realize... it's on me to change the situation.
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