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Tuesday, February 21, 2017

¿HAVE WE BEEN SOLD ON "LOVE"?

What do we do when we’re in love? Logic seems to get blinded by our infatuation with this other person which then might lead to illogical reasonings. Our attachment, though it makes us feel good, can govern our decision making throughout our time of commitment. We’re swept off our feet – hanging on a thread – lost in love. But, damn it! It feels good, don’t it?

Everyone, whether they care to admit it or not, wants to be in love – and if not, they are very curious about what this “love” thing happens to feel like. Having never been in love myself, I would have to say that I’m deeply curious. I’ve come to understand that it’s not just about making someone a part of your life, but it’s about having more than enough love for yourself to give back. People have gone absolutely crazy over it. Wars have raged, companies have gone bankrupt, careers have been destroyed and lives have been altered. The Romeo and Juliet analogy of killing yourself for love, because a life without the one you love is not a life worth living, has become an example of what the media sells as the “right way to love.”

I’ve asked numerous people who are currently in love what made this particular person different than the rest. The responses I received were somewhat surprising to me. The majority of them weren’t looking for love at all until it just happened to arrive through an unlikely source directly in front of them. And since they weren’t trying to push the emotional restraints of love upon this person, they were able to be more themselves. Whereas prior, while searching for their soul mate, they would try to force the intimacy – imitating their favorite romantic comedy scenes or acting on what they thought the “loving couple” should do: hold hands, cuddle, touch, whisper sweet nothings, but none of it was genuine. Ultimately their attempts proved to be self-damaging, forcing a feeling that was never really there, just to fit the mold of what they thought love looked like and ending up being disappointed.

So what does this say? It tells us that pretending will never bring us success. It tells us by not trying to live up to a fake image of what love is, we can enter a relationship whole and genuine. The times of being so in love that we’re literally hanging on a thread or getting swept on our feet are over! Who wants to be swept up off their feet anyway? Wouldn’t you rather be grounded and standing, well aware of who you are and what you have to offer a person?
It’s safe to say that although people try and debate their stance on love and what it all means, the truth of the matter is that everyone wants what the basic human in this world is searching for – Meaning.

It’s not enough that we’ve got our work, our things and our pets, but to have a real person laying in your bed with a heart and soul to appease your doubts in life, to fill you with self-contentment, to remind you that life goes on and to satisfy your needs emotionally and physically, is something that all people must be idiotic to not want or question. However, I still can’t help but wonder of the whole idea of L-O-V-E has been sold to us. Who knows the real answer? This act or gesture of affection can only be satisfied by our imaginative judgments. Love comes in the least expected places – real-life love is less Romeo and Juliet and more Roseanne and Dan Conner; less Lucy and Ricky and more Ozzy and Sharon; less Rose and Jack and more Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka.

To think that love is like it is in the movies is foolish. Let’s stop comparing our own lives to those that we idolize, because let’s face it, our lives aren’t written nor scripted. This is the reality. Let’s love because WE are ready to, not because we want to be put on a level of comparison to society.


Love with your heart – just don’t give it away carelessly – You only have one, after all.

SOURCE: GAY GUYS

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