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I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, May 21, 2015


I’m 37 and a monogamist.  There, I said it. While the gays assemble the pitchforks, I should explain that I’m not a prude, just that open relationships don’t put the lead in my pencil. Having only thrown myself pelvis first into the gay scene for over a decade, I was once surprised these things actually existed. Who knew throuples existed? When did the standard you + me turn into ‘us + him’?

Something I found surprising when looking into open relationships was the gap in generation attitudes. It would appear that it’s actually the younger generation that preach monogamy (although rarely practise it) while the older bracket of the community seem more accepting of the idea. I found this very strange because I assumed prematurely that the older generation would be more hooked on the traditional relationship model. This brings into question maturity levels and when I thought about it, I saw the point. For an open relationship to work, a developed maturity has to be at the forefront of the agreement. You can’t shake on the agreement with one hand and slap your boyfriend with the other when he acts on it. But does my preference for a one-on-one relationship make me immature? No! 

All I can say is that for now, third parties in my relationship would be cheating. At the end of the day, what works for some people doesn’t necessarily work for others. A relationship should write its own rules to fit the only two (three, four or five...) people that matter in that situation. So if that means keeping a relationship exclusive between you and your significant other, so be it. If you and your boyfriend want to share a meat feast with the first hunks on Scruff you see, then who is anybody else to judge? As long the relationship works for you, you’re doing nothing wrong. In fact if it works for you, you’re doing everything right.


  1. I was in an "open relationship" for 23 years. My partner and I loved each other deeply and completely. Even though he died nine years ago, I still miss him and would never form another relationship. We each accepted that the other could (would) have sex with others, but it never interfered with our relationship. They were just "sex", no love. We kept our love for each other. It is possible. It can work. For those 23 years we received and gave the most wonderful love to and from each other.

    1. I think the open relationship thing opens the door to things many don't know how to handle

  2. I totally agree! I am convinced monogamous . I can't say never , but a relationship between two people is already difficult enough . I believe it is possible to be happy only with a single partner. And no, I also am not a prude.

    1. it is VERY possible to be happy with just one person



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