We have all been called upon at one time or another to help a loved one through
a difficult time. When the help required consists of concrete actions such as
running errands or making phone calls, we know what to do. But sometimes we are
called to hold space for the person as they go through their journey. They may
need to express anger or grief; they may need to talk or simply be silent. They
may need us to hold their hand; they may need us to give them time alone.
Whatever the case, when we hold space for someone, we offer ourselves to be a
container for the overwhelming feelings they may be encountering due to their
circumstances.
When we offer ourselves in this way, the more centered and grounded we are, the
better. Our steadiness allows our companion to lean into us for support, and
our presence provides an environment in which they can be free to move. We can
also help by being responsive, allowing them to dictate the flow of action from
talking to not talking, from anger to grief, and back again. By being aware and
open, we can help them confront their feelings when that feels right, and back
off from them when they need a break. Holding space requires humility,
conscientiousness, the ability to step out of the way, and us to honestly
understand that this is not about us.
When we love someone in this way, we provide a space in which they can simply
be, and feel what they need to feel without worrying about how they are being
perceived. We can provide this offering in person, over the phone, or even from
a distance through meditation. However we do it, when we hold space for someone
in need, we are offering a gift of the highest nature.
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