Still,
learning to bottom for those who have traditionally thought of themselves as
tops can be daunting. In my practice, these late-bottom bloomers often come to
me with complications that could have been avoided or minimized had they taken
the appropriate preventative strategies and techniques.
Here are four
things I think should be discussed before you dive into bottoming (or even
consider making the *switch* to being versatile).
1. Educate
yourself on pleasure and anatomy
If you follow
us on Instagram, you will see that we are all about education. Unfortunately,
sex ed that talks about backdoor fun has been nonexistent. Most education and
awareness focuses on condom usage and STD prevention. While still extremely
important, sex ed needs to be broader than just these two things. For
example, understanding
our butt’s anatomy is key to successful bottoming (and topping!). This
includes:
·
Understanding that both skin and muscle
need appropriate relaxation and learning how to create the neural mechanism
required to do this (more on this below)
·
Learning about musculature in the area and
knowing that there are multiple sphincters, some voluntary and some
involuntary, and the right way to get them to relax (and contract) when you
need them to
·
Paying attention to your bowel movements,
the propulsive actions of your colon, and the variabilities associated, and how
big a role overall gut health, diet (like
one that’s high in fiber and/or includes fiber supplements), and proper
techniques for cleaning out (if needed) play into being “ready” to
bottom.
2. Practice
proper dilation
You can’t just
ride the first thing (or person) you see. Believe it or not, there are
exercises that you should practice (you can read more about this here)
before your big debut. Most people don’t know that successful (read:
pleasurable) bottoming takes time, practice, and proper stretching. Be ready to
set aside about 4-6 weeks to get your muscle and skin in the correct balance.
Invest in a good dilation set (typically with 3 different sizes) and then,
starting with the smallest toy, followed by the medium, and finally the largest
one, this sequence provides proper relaxation and adequate lube placement for
future play.
3. Sit down
(literally) for your bottoming debut
Now that weeks
have passed and your behind has been primed with the knowledge of anatomy and
function, along with appropriate dilation, the time has come for you to take a
seat… on your partner. Choosing wisely is key, meaning average length and
girth, as well as a partner you trust. The first step in full-on penetration is
to be in complete control. I advise using your toys either before your partner
comes over or as part of foreplay because it will enhance relaxation and ensure
even and deep lube placement. Once you’re ready, the best position to start in
is with your partner on their back and you slowly sitting on top. Just like
with your toys, sit down until resistance is hit, hold it there, and relax.
Then, lift off your partner entirely, and repeat 4-6 times. You should be ready
for complete entry after this. Patience is a virtue for both you and your
partner(s), but it’ll be worth it in the end. Lastly, and I cannot stress this
enough, there
is no such thing as too much lube!
4. Remain open
to change
Becoming
versatile is an art form that takes time and perfecting backdoor pleasure
requires us to constantly analyze the scientific rationale behind how we play.
Many things will work and some, of course, will not. It may be obvious, but
choose wisely to surround yourself with positive energy and positive partners
who respect your body (and theirs) and encourage mutual exploration with honest
communication. The P-spot and A-spot,
as well as all of the pelvic floor nerve endings are extremely pleasurable for
you and your partner(s), but don’t be discouraged if you aren’t having positive
experiences right away. Backdoor fun takes commitment, either with others or on
your own through toy play. Remember: the muscle and skin of this region are
alive and need constant stimulation. Practice at least twice a week to keep it
optimized for entry and never stop learning.
All phases of
life need to be cherished and as we all evolve and transition through these
stages, our wants and needs in the bedroom evolve, along with changes new
relationships bring. However, one thing will remain the same—our goal at Future
Method. We will continue to help you navigate this delicate part of your body,
while providing you with the proper products, education, and resources to be successful.
SOURCE: FUTURE METHOD
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