I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Monday, August 2, 2021


Why do straight people assume that as gay men that our lives revolve around sex & sex ALONE? How do we get rid of this gay-stereotype?

Newsflash: There’s more to the life of a gay man than sex & our sexuality is not the be-all and end-all. How can it not occur to folks to consider what we do between the sheets isn’t the total sum of who we are? Sure, we wake up horny from time to time OK, almost every morning but our days are spent on so many things besides getting off.

So do a lot of gay men, despite what Grindr might lead us to believe. I suspect that for many, Grindr is less about sex and more about boredom and validation anyway.

Perhaps because ‘gay’ is mostly associated with our sexual orientation, sex becomes, for some of us and to many others, the crux of our identities.

Yes, sexual orientation may be the major factor in determining whether someone identifies as gay or straight, but we’re not gay solely because we have sex with men. If we never have sex again, we’ll still be gay. Sexual attraction piques the interest, but connecting with men emotionally is far more important.

That’s what makes us truly gay.

1 comment:

  1. Totally agree.
    Do I think having sex with men is fantastic? Yes. But that alone does not make me gay, right? There's a dime a dozen gay for pay performers who do that on a weekly basis. It's the fact that I have feelings for men and I want (and can have) intimacy only with men what makes me gay. If I stopped having sex with men tomorrow, I'd still be gay as a goose. That's as certain as the sky is blue.