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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

WHAT TO DO AFTER A THREESOME LEADS TO LOVE...

For some gay couples, strict devotion is the standard. While for others, an open relationship works in which playing with others is allowed, generally accompanied by its own particular set of regulations for different parts of this arrangement.

Whether in a monogamous relationship or an open one, couples often choose to have a threesome of which there may be upsides and downsides to indulging in this sexual scene.

Some men say that threesomes can be stimulating, adding some additional flavor to ones' sex life, but when it comes to men who are in committed relationships, the drawback may be jealousy. If one partner begins to feel left out the consequences can be catastrophic.

Before a couple ventures into this normal sexual fantasy, their bond must be intact. A couple should never use a threesome as the solution to any relationship issues other than to add fun into their sex lives. Intimacy is something that should only be shared between one another and not involve someone else.

If you and your partner decide to have a threesome, its best practice to make sure that your sex life with your lover is strong and one-hundred percent fulfilling. As a couple you should examine your reasoning for wanting to invite a third-party into your bedroom--being completely open and honest with yourselves and one another. Welcoming a third person into your love nest should be an addition to an awesome sex life, not a solution.

Even in the most stable relationships, one of the unforeseen cons is when feelings get involved. What do you do in the event that you begin to develop feelings for this third person? What happens when you realize that you may be in love with two men? Yikes!

There are several decisions that can be made, all of which may or may not keep your relationship in contact. But whatever you choose, be sure that you've thought things through and done what will be best for you in the future and not for the moment:

They say that you can't have your cake and eat it too, but ain't that what you suppose to do? On one hand you don't want to lose the love of your life, but you can't imagine not being without the new person whom you've grown to adore. So what do you do? Proceed with both relationships!

Initially this decision will seem like a win-win for you, but over time it will cause you more pain than pleasure. You will eventually become fatigued by the idea of continuing a relationship with both men. Having to make yourself available emotionally and physically is a huge commitment. Now imagine having to fulfill that with two men.

This scenario will also prevent you from creating true intimacy with either man.

It's time to let him go. You understand that it would be in your best interest to cease all contact with the third-party. You understand that having him remain in your life will only create a barrier between you and your man, hindering your intimacy.

At this time it may be wise to have an open dialogue with your partner. Let him know about the betrayal, and decide if having a non monogamous relationship is still beneficial. Due to your emotional affair, your partner may decide to block all future threesomes and if you value your relationship, you should also value his decision.

On the other hand you and your partner may decide to proceed with your open relationship and set new limits around what's admissible and what's not. Maybe only have threesomes with one man, or only with men of a certain sexual preference.

Maybe you've taken this new-found love for another man as a sign that your current relationship is dead. You realise that your feelings for this third-party are too powerful to ignore and now that he's revealed to you that he shares those same sentiments, it's time to break it to your lover that it is over!

In leaving your man, you must not compare your previous relationship to your budding one. The circumstance are different, the way you met is different and with the sexual chemistry having already flooded your emotions, it's important to analyze your true feelings for him.

This is a relationship that has not been challenged by life itself. The daily grind that challenges relationships. Up until this point, your relationship with him has been responsibility free, but now that he is your man and the two of you are committed, you are required to nurture your relationship and him.

Ultimately before you leave your partner, make sure your feelings for the third party are based in reality and recognize the risks inherent in leaving your lover for something that may not work out. How does this third party stack up to what you look for in a man.

Have you ever thought of a three-way relationship? Maybe you've decided that you can't choose between the two and to be honest, you don't want to. You love them both and couldn't imagine being without either one of them. If the chemistry between all three parties is there, why not begin a new, and redefine your relationship as a monogamous threesome?

Though rare, these relationships do exist, just look at all of the examples on TLC, and for some they actually work quite well.

The danger in bringing this to your partner is that he may be offended and hurt by your proposal, which could conceivably put your relationship at risk. He may question why he's not enough for you? What happens if he and the third-party don't connect on a deeper level other than sex?

Open and honest conversations must be a regular occurrence for any relationship, but for this specific scenario it is extremely important. There are so many feelings involved, three personalities and three people coming together from different backgrounds. In order for this to work, boundaries must be set and your new unconventional relationship must be cleary defined to avoid jealousy.


Whatever you choose, make sure that you've thought things all the way through.

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