I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Monday, February 9, 2009


I am of the opinion that the things we do AND say hold GREAT sway over the kind of life that we create for ourselves…So when I got a text yesterday from an acquaintance of mine asking me why there are persons out there that make a mockery of our sexuality?…(you know my curiosity was peaked). However, I realized that wasn’t going to last for much longer as I realized that she was referring to her relationship (and I use the word loosely) that she has with her on AND off girlfriend of FIVE years. You see her girlfriend has problems with her sexuality and cheats on her with men…leaving her feeling like SH!T in the process. The first time it happened and she forgave her and took her back, I was like okay as long as she is happy. I am of the opinion that when someone does something like this they’ll NEVER change, but I wanted it work for her DESPITE what was SO obvious to me. So I was NOT surprised that she was back here yet AGAIN! Now I am like okay, what do you want me to do about it? I mean you know how the cat jumps yet you still want some sort of sympathy? SORRY AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN! No wonder I have NO friends (LMAO). Nonetheless, I can’t help someone that that CONSTANTLY allow themselves to be FUCKED over in such a manner. When are we going to understand that LOVE doesn’t work like this? When are we going to understand that having SO much LOVE for someone doesn’t guarantee that they’ll LOVE you back? This I am NOT good enough attitude that has SO many of us fighting to mean something to someone that don’t give a FUCK is just plain crazy. This SELF-CREATED state is TOTALLY avoidable and when it occurs how is it MINE to fix? When I was offering my opinion it wasn’t accepted AND I tend to be accused of being a KNOW-IT-ALL or a B!TCH (go figure…right?). I wish that I could find a reason to hold her hand and let her cry on my shoulder but I can’t (wrong of me huh?)I SUPPOSE…But I’ve learned a long time ago that it is OUR duty to stay afloat as we ride the wave of life and when the debris hit us we must figure out where we want to sink to the bottom OR use it to keep us afloat…I HATE THAT THIS LIFE TAKES US TO PLACES THAT HURT & DESTROY US & AS MUCH AS MY SOUL CRIES FOR THOSE THAT FEEL PAIN BECAUSE THEY INVITED IT IN, I CAN’T TAKE ON THEIR PAIN…MAYBE I AM DELUDING MYSELF, BUT I THINK THAT LIFE & LOVE ARE THE MOST EASIEST THINGS ON THIS PLANET…IF ONLY WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO EVOLVE NATURALLY INTO IT…LOVE IS AN ACTIVE PROCESS THAT REQUIRES US TO BE ATTENTIVE, CENTERED & AWAKE…BECAUSE LIFE IS SO DYNAMIC WITH NEVER ENDING CHANGES WE WILL GET SWALLOWED WHOLE IF WE DON’T STOP, LOOK & LISTEN…TELL ME WHO IS GOING TO GIVE YOU THE LOVE YOU DESERVE? IF NOT YOU…THEN WHO?


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