I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Sunday, August 20, 2006


Dear 'Sil':
I want to talk to you about your 'baby boy'. I know that you are not here with us anymore, yet still I know you are aware of what he is doing and how he is living his life. I am sending you this plea, this open call for you to step in and help him; even though he doesn't feel that he needs your help. I hope and pray that some how, that some way you ask GOD to touch his soul and make him the MAN you want him to be. I can see you right now pregnant and about going to give birth. It is so vivid, you are very hot and uncomfortable, your breasts ached so much and your ankles are swollen and you feel 'baby boy' deliriously trapped and sombulent inside of your body. You are looking out towards a field that was covered in blue midst, even though the sun was high in the sky and very bright-I think you had a fever as you waited to give life to your 'baby boy.' As your 'baby boy' becomes a man I think that you will be ashamed of the person he is today. He has destroyed the life of woman that gave him his son and doesn't seem to care about it. Please tell him that he owes her an apology; think about it, how is she supposed to react when he leaves her for a MAN? He doesn't get it that she feels that he lied and betrayed her, she never knew who he truly was and never will. I know searching out one's sexuality is a serious thing and it's very confusing but I want to somehow someway whisper in his ear, touch his heart and break through that mask that he is wearing. Tell him to make peace, make life easier for himself. Your son is out here to conquer the 'GAY WORLD' he is fucking his way through the community, despite that he is with the MAN that he left his baby's mother for. I probably shouldn't say this to you but I know that you would want to know that your son just started having unprotected sex...So you know what that means? He is playing with his life! He doesn't seem to care about his reputation or his career; what ever party that is going on he is there, when the club doors open he is there front and center as if he has keys to the damn place there always seem to be a ribbon cutting ceremony that he must attend. I liked him better when he would visit with me from time to time, even though we lived closer to each other; we were closer before he moved next door to me. I got to see the beast up close and it isn't pretty, he is selfish and unkind believing that the world revolves around him and we are here to cater to his every need. He has hurt our friendship and doesn't seem to care, I am sorry to say that I don't want him around me. I will walk past his dead face even though he is alive, I hope he gets to see his eyes in the mirror and cry at the sight. I hope that he cries every tear at the sight of himself and find the strength climb that mountain of rocks and seek that eagle flying overhead. I hope he heard all the terrible things about himself when no one thought he was listening. He is a pawn in his own game walking the fine line between surviving and not wanting to survive.
So as I digress I hope that I gave you a lot to think about and I am asking you to help your 'baby boy' bring him back to us, make him someone you are proud of...
This is 4 him in case he decides to care one day...
The Story of Your Life
Don't say you're not important,
It simply isn't true,
The fact that you were born,
Is proof,
God has a plan for you.
The path may seem unclear right now,
But one day you will see,
That all that came before,
Was truly meant to be.
God wrote the book that is your life,
That's all you need to know.
Each day that you are living,
Was written long ago.
God only writes best sellers,
So be proud of who you are,
Your character is important,
In this book you are the Star.
Enjoy the novel as it reads,
It will stand throughout the ages,
Savor each chapter as you go,
Taking time to turn the pages.


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