We all change throughout life trying new and different
things, but the core of who we really are remains the same.
As we bob and weave with the ebb and flow of life our
roles change, but our true self remains constant. As gay men, we go through
many aspects of humanity in one lifetime. Living in the material world of
opposites, labels, and classifications, we often identify ourselves by the
roles we play, forgetting that these aspects shift and change throughout our
lives. But when we anchor ourselves in the truth of our being, that core of
spirit within us, we can choose to embrace the new roles as they come, knowing
that they give us fresh perspective on life and a greater understanding of the
lives of others.
As little gay boys, we anticipated role changes
eagerly in our rush to grow up. Though fairy tales led us to believe that
"happily ever after" was a final destination, the truth is that life
is a series of destinations, mere stops on a long journey filled with differing
terrain. We may need to move through a feeling of resistance as we shift from
spouse to parent, leader to subordinate, caregiver to receiver, or even local
to newcomer. It can be helpful to bid a fond farewell to the role that we are
leaving before we welcome the new. This is the purpose of ceremonies in
cultures throughout the world and across time. We can choose from any in
existence or create our own to help us celebrate our life shifts and embrace
our new adventures.
Like actors on the stage of the world, our different
roles are just costumes that we inhabit and then shed. Each role we play gives
us another perspective through which to understand ourselves and the nature of
the universe. When we take a moment to see that each change can be an
adventure, a celebration, and a chance to play a new part, we may even be able
to recapture the joyful anticipation of our youth as we transition from one
role to the next.
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