I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Tuesday, December 17, 2013


I watch the people in my life chase after the elusive and I totally get it. But so much heartbreak is wrapped up in people not meeting your expectation- not saying the right words, not doing the right thing, not being in the right place at the right time. It’s unrealistic and it’s unfair.

This week my intention is to love without expectation. Just full-fledged, wholly abandoned love for those in my life whether or not they have the capacity to love me back. I have all I need and I won’t run out of love.

Author, Eugene Peterson, wrote:

“Every day I put love on the line. There is nothing I am less good at than love. I am far better in competition than in love. I am far better at responding to my instincts and ambitions to get ahead and make my mark than I am at figuring out how to love another. I am schooled and trained in acquisitive skills, in getting my own way. And yet I decide, every day, to set aside what I can do best and attempt what I do very clumsily– open myself to the frustrations and failures of loving, daring to believe that failing in love is better than succeeding in pride.

All this is hazardous work; I live on the edge of defeat all the time. I have never done any of these things to my (or anyone else’s) satisfaction.” (from “A Long Obedience In the Same Direction”)
Whoa. WHOA. He’s right.

I don’t like the idea of holding love for ransom. I don’t like the idea of equating love with winning.

Now, please don’t read this and take it to mean that abuse or neglect is something you should allow to persist in a relationship. That isn’t love.  I’m talking about wanting real love and being willing to give real love in order to find it. Not recklessly. Not flippantly. But taking a risk to treat people how they’d like to be treated in the hopes that one day (even if it’s not right now), they’ll be able to pay it forward. Be the first.


The Advocate, the oldest LGBTI publication in the US, named Pope Francis as its Person of the Year on Monday (16 December).

The magazine placed a NoH8 campaign tattoo on the cheek of the head of the Catholic Church for its cover illustration along with the quote 'If someone is gay and seeks the Lord with good will, who am I to judge.'

Such sentiments are a dramatic reversal from the anti-gay rhetoric of his predecessor Pope Benedict XVI who had once written that homosexuality was 'intrinsically evil.'

The magazine's criteria for selecting its Person of the Year was this: 'The single most influential person of 2013 on the lives of LGBT people.'

The Advocate points out that Francis is the leader of 1.2 billion Catholics around the world and that impact of what he says and does cannot possibly be underestimated.

The article states: 'The remaining holdouts for LGBT acceptance in religion, the ones who block progress in the work left to do, will more likely be persuaded by a figure they know. In the same way that President Obama transformed politics with his evolution on LGBT civil rights, a change from the pope could have a lasting effect on religion.'

The Pope's own words from an interview with America magazine show a man who is not anti-gay: 'A person once asked me, in a provocative manner, if I approved of homosexuality. I replied with another question: "Tell me: when God looks at a gay person, does he endorse the existence of this person with love, or reject and condemn this person?" We must always consider the person.'

Edie Windsor, the plaintiff whose lawsuit gutted the US Defense of Marriage Act, was a finalist just as she was last week for Time Magazine Person of the Year. Pope Francis also got the Time honor.



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