I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Today we

buried my grandfather on would have been is 75th birthday. The service was nice and it was interesting looking around @ my family all in one place @ the same time. I felt like an alien, like I didn’t come from them…but what is strange about how I felt is that it didn’t bother me @ all!

It was interesting seeing my

uncle looking all sad like he was about to shed a tear. I guess all the years of hating his father made him feel like shit. I know my grandfather was a horrible role model, a bad father and not to mention grandfather; and I would LOVE to say that he did the best he knew how, but that would be LIE! He didn’t do the best he knew how and that was best he knew how…make sense?

As I listened to the pastor of his church talked about how dedicated he was to the church, I wondered who was she talking about? Then I realized she was right…he didn’t devout his time and energy on his family and he religiously attend church. As I thought more about him, I realized that my grandfather was a proud man and I ALWAYS wondered what he had to be proud about? His walk, the way he would introduce us to his friends…the way he did his own thing despite getting on EVERYONE’S nerves…

Nonetheless, I did clue into one of the questions I have about death @ his funeral. You see I ALWAYS wondered why we make such a big deal about people dying? I mean it is natural part of life…the process that we ALL must go through. But today I understood that not being able to see a person anymore leaves an empty feeling inside of you, one that will heal in time, but leave a scar in the process. So if the dream I had about him last night is any indication about how he is doing, I AM SURE HE IS DOING VERY WELL…That smile that he gave me as I approached him made me recognize that he was who he was and he did EXACTLY what he was suppose to do on this earth…So as he rest in peace, I would like to tell him THANK YOU for making me push myself beyond where he reached…After all isn’t that what the generations that come after is suppose to do?


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