I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Tuesday, September 1, 2009


When it comes to GAY men and we see each other, some of us are upfront and honest…and others lie, and we make it SO easy for the rest to hide from the truth. Isn’t it sad that in some ways, the way we treat each other is expected? But I’ve often find that what we shun is an indication of what we are insecure about, and where we harbor shame. WITH THIS IN MIND, LET’S TAKE A LOOK @ 7 TYPES OF GAY MEN THAT SCARE THE F&CK OUT OF THE GAY COMMUNITY:

  • THE NON-BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND: We've all met him. He's cute, smart, funny with a smile or a smell or a groove or an anything that makes you crazy. He seems to dig on you, too. So much so that you go to movies and parties and the park together. You're each others' instant plus ones whenever the occasion arises. He knows your IM password; you've learned the lyrics to his favorite song. All of your free time is his and his yours. It's just you and him unless you're traveling to an event together. His friends like you. Your friends frequently ask to be filled in on the status of your relationship. But, alas, there is nothing to report. Is it a platonic friendship, which can exist even when intimacy is involved? Are you best friends forever? Is he the romantic possibility you've been waiting for? Or, is it too soon to tell? Though this type of man can yield some very good times, he is still one the most feared men out there to GAY men.

  • HOT, GAY & SUCCESSFUL: Sometimes you meet a GAY man who immediately engages you. You're taken by his energy, his good looks…his kindness. He talks to you, not @ you. He ask questions, is genuinely interested in finding out about you. You learn about him, he has a GREAT job, has loads of friends, always doing interesting things. And most of all he wants to include you, so what do you? Make the mistake that such a man is TOO good for you so you place him in a class higher than you…which makes sense because why be with someone who you don’t feel is your equal?

  • TOO UGLY TO DATE: Can someone tell me why when a friend of ours is talking about some guy that they feel would make a good catch for us, most of us ask how does he look? Now this question isn’t necessarily a bad one, but why does it matter how cute a man is? I’ve heard many say an ugly man sure is sweet in the sack and in my days of playing the field; I NEVER had sex with a man that others deemed ugly to find out if that saying is true. I did it because as far as I see it, intimacy has NO eyes OR beauty. So sad that this is another GAY man that can’t get his because of how other GAY see him…

  • THE FAT GAY MAN: There SO many reasons we find ourselves attracted to someone, but when it comes to the GAY man that has a little more to love, we find out just how shallow AND ugly we GAY men can really be. SO many GAY men that don’t carry a six-pack OR can wear skinny jeans are treated like pariahs in the community. Why you may ask? Well it is due to the fact that society has deemed them unfit physically which makes them impossible to love. So can imagine how a GAY man with extra meat on his bone is treated in the body-obsessed gay world? Body image issues and insecurities are widespread and it is killing our community. Why can’t we appreciate the GAY man who wears his weight with pride?

  • THE GAY MAN 40 & OVER: So many of us tell ourselves that we will NOT date man over the age of 40. So when this happens we reduce the SMALL community of eligible men even smaller. Such a shame I say because most of us feel that as long as I can get someone younger, that’s better. SO sad that in order to attract guys and prevent automatic dismissal, a hot 50-year-old with a hot pic may choose to say he's 35, so that guys will at least give him a chance. Because he is buying into the general assumption that most GAY men prefer younger men. This definitely speaks to our sexualization of youth, and the insecurity and lack of esteem experienced by older gay men. Sad, isn’t it?

  • THE FEMININE GAY MAN: Isn’t it insane how so many put each other in two different categories? Either we are labeled as MASCULINE or FEMININE with the latter being seen as less than. How are GAY men that carry themselves in this manner get to be public enemy #1 is beyond me. How can we continue to live in a community that bashes GAY men that are seen as feminine? What makes him less a man ? Moreover what makes you more of a man? I thought ALL GAY MEN represented something different, something special…something GOD fearing? Why be individuals that are trying to be someone playing the majority?

  • THE GAY MAN: You know him, you pray to GOD for him, you talk about him and see him in your dreams…but you don’t want him…Why? Well let’s just say that he is the opposite of what you think a GAY man should be. He LOVES himself, knows his place AND what he wants for the future. He is that GAY man that knows that a smooth road never makes a good driver and a smooth sea never make a good sailor. But you call him a fake, a know-it-all because he can tell you what you are doing that is hurting your soul. Yet in all your negativity he would die for the community. He is  PASSIONATE N’ UNIQUE because he is everything you want him to be AND none of things you feel he is…


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