¿HOMOSEXUAL OR HOM(O)CIDAL?

There are openly GAY men who do not hide the fact that they are GAY in this world. You see it the WALK, the TALK, the CLOTHING and the OVERT EFFEMINATE jesters. Although they have the right to be who they are; I believe that there are certain situations where they should be who they want to be AND others where they realize that everything has its place. I have heard of MEN in DRAG going out in public AND trying to blend in with the common folk. Now where NO one wants to feel like a coward, OR be shamed in being HOMOSEXUAL, isn’t a GAY man that is doing this just an invitation for harm? From time to time, there are GAY-BASHING incidents that make headlines; however they are seen as being justified because a GAY man is trying to FORCE himself on a society that does NOT know about GAY people (OR SO IT SEEMS). Nonetheless, this CRIME is should be seen in the same vain a CRIME OF RAPE. It does NOT mean because a MAN wears a DRESS, WALK or JESTERS a certain way, that he should be violated. However we MUST bear in mind that what we have NO right to do anything about how a MAN dresses OR carries himself for it is DIVINE right to be who he wants to be. I, myself, am shocked that YOUNG men are realizing at an early age that they like men and many have acted on their temptations. So it is NO wonder these men feel it necessary to express who they are in the manner they feel. Now I have nothing against fem boys, it is just that we live in a world that is NOT GAY FRIENDLY & I CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER IF THESE MEN ARE MERELY HOMOSEXUALS OR HOMO(O)CIDAL?

¿ANAL ANGST?

When two people come together, they each bring their own set of compromises. We seek others (consciously or subconsciously) that match our ideals. So when it comes to SEX with GAY men, there should NOT be any surprise that there are a few of us out there that are NOT into ANAL sex in any form of fashion. A lot of men prefer romance AND intimacy over penetration. However, there seems to be this way of thinking that when the subject of SEX is brought to the table (WHICH IS THE NORM), that it has to be done and that is so unnecessary. Just like sexuality, our ideas of SEX are often blurred; and it is my belief that SEX does NOT make the man. Our strength isn’t dependant upon the act of sex; it lies in our ability to recognize why we are having sex in the first place. I care about companionship and intimacy more than just the act itself. It makes me feel horrible to think that regardless of what I do to with a man; he is NOT satisfied until things become SEXUAL. I think SEX is an important part of a relationship, but if the goal is only SEX then there will be problems. If the average GAY were to look back on past relationships, he would notice that most of them failed. Therefore, I am quite sure that SEX was a MAJOR player in that scenario. SEX is EXTREMELY powerful that WE allow it to sometimes take us outside of a relationship AND seek it with someone else. I feel that GAY men have a distinct advantage when it comes to SEX, but we act as if we are bottom feeders (PUN INTENDED). SEX is so OVER DONE that it seems that it is a situation of FORCED entry. But whether we realize it OR not, we carry around a list of inherent lifestyle priorities; and these choices are what we aid our happiness by. Our lives are based on our values, which can be in the category of LOVE, POLITICS, HEALTH, SOCIAL CAUSES, SEXUALITY and so forth. These values are formed throughout our life under varying circumstances. SO I CANNOT HELP BUT WONDER HOW SEX BECAME MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN OUR LIVES…I GUESS IN THE END IT DOES NOT MATTER I AM TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS BIGGER THAN ME…THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS GETTING OFF; BUT EQUALITY DOES NOT START WITH SEX, IT HASN’T THEN & IT WON’T NOW. EQUALITY IN SEX MEANS EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES TO ENGAGE EMOTIONS & FEELINGS TO ENSURE THAT PASSION & CONNECTION ARE INTACT. I GET THAT SEX IS IMPORTANT & IT SHOULD NOT BE ELIMINATED FROM OUR LIVES…ALL I AM SAYING IS THAT WE SHOULD ALLOW THE INTIMACY TO MEAN SOMETHING BEYOND THE ACT ITSELF…SO HOW ABOUT WE NOT LET IT BE THE SOLE BASIS FOR ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP WE ARE EMBARKING UPON?

10 TYPE OF GAY MEN

I copied this from BGC. It's titled "10 Types of Gay Men on Campus". Albeit, most of us are beyond college age, we can still relate some of these personality types to a few men in our NOT so grown up world. Check it out:

1. THE DL HOMOPHOBE – He can spot any gay guy anywhere at anytime. He always has something negative to say to or about the gay guy, but in reality he just wants the gay boy’s attention. Homophobes are usually attracted to masculine gay men as the feminine ones will blow their cover. Also Statistics show that the HOMOPHOBES are the messiest of them all.











2. THE AVERAGE STR8 GUY - This is the most difficult type to detect. He’s the typical straight guy, he loves sports, he adores cars, and he can fix almost everything….nothing out of the ordinary till you walk in on him doing something with a dude. We call these men TRADES. You had no clue they were gay…and chances are they can teach the OPENLY gay guys a few tricks.











3. THE SUPER DL NINJA – This is the guy who is TERRIFIED of people having the slightest clue he is gay. He will surf gay chat lines and send people to a dozen different websites until he finally reveals himself. The kind of guy that meets you on the docks at night…you sleep with him…and if you see him in public again he will DENY your existence.









4. THE DL COUPLE – Now this is the most prevalent type of gay guys on campus. Two guys that always hang out together, they maybe work out buddies, members of the same fraternity, same sports team or school organization…Chances are if you see one the other is close behind and if you see one alone…he’s on his way to the other. THEY ARE A COUPLE. No straight guy will spent 90% of his day with another guy unless they are in Iraq and that’s a whole other story.







5. MR DON’T ASK DON’T TELL – IF YOU AINT ASKING HE AINT TELLING…SHIT EVEN IF YOU ASK HE AINT TELLING. This is the guy in class you always suspected but never had any concrete proof to nail him. Unfortunately for you that you cant nail him….but every other dude on campus is…







6. THE AVERAGE GAY GUY – He is professional, a great friend, an honor student, your RA, that guy that’s in the ROTC. He is awesome everyone on campus knows him all the girls have a crush on him…you invite him out one night and he comes with a dude he introduces as his BOYFRIEND…yes your honor student is in a relationship with a man and as popular as he is he managed to keep his personal life out of the spotlight. This is what most gay people should aspire to be like.





7. THE PRETTY BOI – This is the guy that looks better than 50% of the girls on campus. He wears designer clothes, has a body to die for...usually light skinned or Hispanic, hair you wish you had has the accessories of a typical pretty boi (contacts, earrings, photo shopped). You can find them prancing around your local mall or around town. They are usually conceited and not very nice.





8. THE TRENDSETTER – They are the Social Mecca of fashion and social rituals. They start the latest trends, know the latest songs and the matching dances, know your business before you do, and pretty much puts you out there.




9. THE HALF AND HALF – Have you ever seen a guy with tight jeans, a purse and couldn’t be more feminine and you wonder…. Why doesn’t he be a transsexual and get over with it. He wears girl jeans, a tank top, makeup and a purse big enough to fit a piano. They are usually bitter because nobody wants to bee seen with them…unless they are HALF AND HALF TOO.



10. THE OBNOXIOUS QUEEN - He greets you with a HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY GIIIIIRRRL!!! He refers to people as MISS THANG, he is the loudest motherfucker you have ever met, flirts with anything that breathes and is a club addict. Ladies and Gentlemen…this is THE POSTERCHILD FOR GAY. You can spot him on the map, his sexuality is as big as Texas and he doesn’t care who knows. Infact he wants you to know so he can have you next… RUN CHILD RUN…

¿GAY-4-PAY?

GAY-4-PAY is a insinuative term used more commonly with male actors, pornographic stars, or sex workers that identify as heterosexual but are paid to act or perform gay professionally. The stigma of being gay OR labeled as such has steadily eroded since the Stonewall riots began the modern gay rights movement in 1969. Mainstream movie and television actors have been more willing to portray homosexuality, as the threat of any backlash against their careers has lessened and society's acceptance of gay and lesbian people has increased.

But the term GAY-4-PAY I feel is more acceptable with mainstream actors RATHER than porn actors. I say this because society defines people by their sexual orientation. Through this process it is deduce that if the same gender engages in sexual acts with each other they are in fact HOMOSEXUAL. Therefore I ask the question CAN A MAN TRULY BE HETEROSEXUAL & HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER MERELY FOR THE MONEY?

I am of the thinking that if he is GAY-4-PAYthen why not just have a movie that showcases that? But what do I know? It is SO obvious that the money is a means to an end. That end, which is supposed to be liberating and satisfying, cannot be so, for it has no place for mutual respect AND honor for those that are NOT-GAY-4-PAY! The self-gratification principle in money as in all other material quests is as doomed as it is addictive and destructive, requiring increasing extravagance in the wake of its failure. SO, I ASK IS IT WORTH IT?

Pornography is seen as one of the societal decays in f this world; and why a HETERO man would subject himself to SEXUAL energy of another man is something that puzzles me? Thrilled as society is, in a tangled web of self-gratification and psychological and biological pointlessness, it is scarcely surprising that there are men that would GO GAY FOR THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR. I guess the GLORIFICATION of the idealized masculine/male icon is MORE important than exploiting the years of sexual movement.

THE THUG, BIKER, POLICE & COWBOY ARE JUST SOME OF THE FEW ROLES THAT THESE MEN PORTRAY. BONDAGE, WATERSPORTS, FISTING, RAPE, PRISON SEX ARE PRESENTED AS EROTIC ONLY TO STIMULATE YOU FOR THE PLEASURE OF THE MIGHTY DOLLAR. The reality of this trend should @ minimum, indicate that the industry is only perpetuating the DL men to stay in the closet because it seems that they can move from HETEROSEXUALITY to HOMOSEXUALITY with little ease AND WITH NO CONSEQUENCES…

There are few among us that are susceptible to the effects of past emotional, physical AND sexual abuse, that it is NO surprise that they think they are just GAY-4-PAY. While it is easy to articulate a liberation theory that overlooks OR ignores the reality of what is really going on; the DEGRADATION AND DEHUMANIZATION are NOT changed OR altered for the rest of us that are JUST GAY…In the long run, I guess being GAY-4-PAY is NOT mimicking the SEXUAL behavior of a GAY man because he would have to be GAY to have GAY sex…right? I mean if this GAY-4-PAY theory carries any REAL weight that means that we GAY men that are not doing porn should get paid so we can pass for the men they feel we must be?

BUT CAN SOMEONE TELL ME, WHY GO GAY-4-PAY WHEN GAY PORNOGRAPHY COMPRISES A DISPROPORTIONATELY LARGE PART OF THE PORNOGRAPHY INDUSTRY? IT HAS ATTRACTED MUCH LESS ATTENTION FROM THE ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY MOVEMENT THAT IT’S STRAIGHT COUNTERPART…SO WHEN I TRY TO ADD UP THE MATH, I GET A HEADACHE BECAUSE GAY-4-PAY = NO HOMOPHOBIA. THESE “ACTORS” SERVES AS ANOTHER HOMOPHOBIC SOURCE WITH WHICH TO SILENCE GAY MEN & REINFORCE AN ALREADY DEEPLY ENTRENCHED SYSTEM OF SEX DISCRIMINATION & SOCIAL INEQUALITY. IF A MAN CAN SELL HIS SEXUALITY IN SUCH A MANNER IS IT WORTH THE MORAL SCARRING? MOREOVER, HOW CAN HE STEP BACK INTO SOCIETY LIKE HE ISN’T JUST AS GAY AS THE REST OF US? HENCE ALL THE MONEY, SEX & GOOD TIMES IN THE END AMOUNTS TO HIM BEING MAN BECAUSE HE CAN GET OUR PLEASURE BUT NONE OF OUR PAINS?

THE “HETERO” MALE CONFUSES ME IN THIS SITUATION BECAUSE HE LIVES WITH THE FEAR OF HOMOSEXUALITY JUST LIKE THE REST OF US, SO WHY PUT OUT THERE FOR THE WORLD TO SEE IT? HE KNOWS HATE & WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A VICTIM OF SEXUALITY, SO WHY DO IT & EASE YOUR SOUL WITH SOME PAPER THAT HAS SOME NUMBERS ON THEM?

I CONSIDER GAY PORNOGRAPHY TO BE AN ISSUE OF POWER, A SOURCE OF SOCIAL INEQUALITY…INCLUDING MY OWN. HENCE I GET THAT PORN IS THERAPEUTIC IN ITS OWN WAY, BUT WHEN MEN SAY THEY ARE GAY-4-PAY, THEY PRESENT US WITH THIS DEMONIC KIND OF KINDERGARTEN WHERE THE IMMATURE CAN ACT OUT APART OF HIMSELF WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE LEAVING ME & YOU WITH THE NOTION THAT WE ARE GAY FOR NO REASON @ ALL…IF A “MAN” CAN DO IT, GET PAID & WALK AWAY WHY ARE WE STUCK HERE? MAKES ONE WONDER IF HE IS REALLY GAY-4-PAY OR JUST GAY & GETTING PAID?
                                                                                                      

HOVERING AROUND THE SUN

It's funny to imagine our lives as something we spend a lot of time avoiding, because it seems like that would be impossible to do. Our lives consist of everything we engage in, from showering to sleeping, but also a lot of busy work that distracts us and keeps us from looking at our lives. Experiencing our life from the inside means taking time each day to simply be alone and quiet in the presence of our soul. Many of us are so out of practice that it's almost unnerving to have a moment to ourselves. As a result, we may have stopped trying to carve out that time to take a seat at the center of our lives. One of the reasons it can be uncomfortable to sit with ourselves is because when we do, we tend to open ourselves to an inner voice, which might question the way we're living or some of the choices we're making. Sometimes the voice reminds us of our secret, inner yearnings, dreams we thought we had forgotten. When we already feel overwhelmed by our busy schedules, the idea of hearing this voice can be exhausting. However, its reflections are the chords that connect us to our authentic selves, and they are the very things that make our lives worth living. When we continually avoid connecting with our life, we risk losing out on the very purpose of our existence. To begin the process of being more present and less absent in your life, you might want to set aside just a few minutes each day to simply sit with yourself. This doesn't mean watching a movie or reading a book, but taking time each day for self-examination to avoid the avoidance, to be with yourself in an open way. After a while, you may start to enjoy this part of the day so much that you make less busy work for yourself, so that you can spend more time at the center of your own life, rather than hovering like a planet around the sun.

REMEMBER THE 7 UPS...

1. WAKE UP…DECIDE TO HAVE A GOOD DAY.
2. DRESS UP…THE BEST WAY TO DRESS UP IS TO PUT ON A SMILE; A SMILE IS AN INEXPENSIVE WAY TO IMPROVE YOUR LOOKS.
3. SHUT UP… SAY NICE THINGS & LEARN TO LISTEN.
4. STAND UP… FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN; STAND FOR SOMETHING OR YOU WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING.
5. LOOK UP… GOD IS WATCHING.
6. REACH UP…FOR SOMETHING HIGHER
7. LIFT UP…YOUR PRAYERS

LOVE SHOULDA BROUGHT YOU HOME

"LOVE SHOULDA BROUGHT YOU HOME" is the first solo single from Toni Braxton. The song written by Babyface, Daryl Simmons, and Bo Watson, and was featured on the Boomerang soundtrack. It was submitted to Anita Baker but due to her impending pregnancy, she had to decline. The single became a top forty hit on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 and her second consecutive top five hit on the U.S. Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks. The music video showed an angry Braxton—alternating between a long sweater (as a dress) and a suit complete with tie. She is fed up with her boyfriend and testifies that if he really cared, then love should have brought him home last night. This song TOTALLY captures me and made me a fan for LIFE!

...MANIFEST HIM

Invisible man

Written on the mirror of the mind

The reflections of he

Riding an invisible horse

Into the sun

Because you are too caught up

Living as if you are meant to be alone…

How about evolving and going to the next level?

Rather than complaining

That there are NO good men out there

You know that you cannot get

That which don’t manifest

So why walk through life with a closed mind?

You are just holding yourself back

For you refuse to show up

And engage in creating he that is meant to be

How do you hope to be TRULY happy?

Don’t you want to participate in your life?

Don’t you want to achieve that which your soul really wants?

Take this stab @ LOVE,

For it is yours

And not the reflection of someone else’s

There is NOTHING better in the world

Than the feeling of manifesting the man for you

So refuse to remain stagnant

Remove all of the self devised obstacles

That are created in the mind

These mind castles only bring negative energy

And it is time that you

Step into the life that was meant for you

It is time to walk through LOVE with knowledge

And the desire to share our lives with that special man…

So manifest him

© tgk

¿HAVE YOU EVER?

Have you ever heard someone start a sentence with "I feel...", but then include no "feeling word" in the sentence? (For example, "I feel we ought to go to the movies.") They might say, "I think we ought to go to the movies." or "I feel inclined to go to the movies." or "I want to go to the movies." However, what is the emotion in the first sentence? Unfortunately, many parents do not know how to model and name feelings for their children; and our society and institutions mirror that lack; and herein lies the disconnect between most of humanity and their emotional life! When people with unhealthy emotional boundaries communicate, they say things like YOU MADE ME FEEL ANGRY! or YOU MAKE ME SICK! or YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY. They have BAD BOUNDARIES, and regardless of how they feel, can try to hold others responsible for their emotions. Healthy communicators say things like I FEEL ANGRY WHEN…or I FEEL SICK WHEN…or I AM SO HAPPY WHEN…They simply describe how they feel, but DO NOT hold others responsible for it. Now it is OK for each one of us to feel the whole range of our emotions - to feel any feeling - but its how those feelings motivate our behavior that really matters. In addition, we have the mistaken idea in our culture that when someone shares their feelings, behaviors must change. We do not act as though it is OK to hear HOW someone feels, and just stop there. Many of us are afraid that if we do not change our behavior in response to another’s feeling, he OR she will stop liking/loving us. In general (as a society), we are so uncomfortable with feelings, that we will try to shut the other person up, or change our behavior (if they whine and we feel compelled to), instead of simply creating a safe space for their soul, and having that be enough.

¿WHAT THE HELL?

¿WHAT THE HELL? As my mother would say, WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? The other day I had this one dude practically over @ my house with my D!CK in his mouth and AFTER I SHOT him down he said that he is NOT GAY and he has a girlfriend. Now I found this funny because we all know that we can’t believe in the tooth fairy, Santa Claus OR the Easter bunny. Now, we can't even believe in a GAY man that refuses to get out of the closet? I AM TRULY DISAPPOINTED! These so-called DL men are SO pathetic AND sad that they have NOT realized that they are out-of-date AND yesterday’s news. In a world rocked to its very core by HOMOSEXUALITY, I appear to be one of the only remaining realists. Off and on, I am mystified by these men, but unlike the rest of the world, I'm honest about it. I think that most DL men are stupid, uninformed, AND scary. Hence in MY court of law their verdict would be GUILTY and the only punishment for such behavior is for we GAY men NOT to entertain them when they come to ROCK OUT WITH THEIR COCKS OUT! Better to be a REAL gay man rather than some ass that he is F&CKING. This incident made me realized that I was operating from a place that does NOT allow me to recognize OR accept the hateful notions they have internalized about themselves. The sense of entitlement AND ownership they try exuded is unbelievable, even admirable on some level. I WONDER WHERE THEY GOT THAT FROM? No matter because I know I had this dude the MOMENT he sent me a message…pity I was NOT interested in F&CKING, would have been nice but I am NOT into wasting my D!CK in such a manner. And the funny thing for me is that he feels that he has somehow, someway escape the noose that was around his neck…STUPID DL MEN, TRICKS ARE FOR KIDS…Now I can ONLY imagine that the MOMENT those words were sent to my inbox, he felt ashamed…WORSE: STUPID! Here is a MAN that wants me, yet I am saying GET TO STEPPING, WE DON’T WANT YOUR KIND AROUND HERE! I GUESS ONE CAN CALL IT A TESTAMENT TO THE ENDURING LEGACY OF HOMOPHOBIA. IT IS TIME THAT WE START LOBBYING FOR GAY MEN THAT ARE WORTH THE ENERGY THAT THEY HARNESS. IF WE WERE TO THINK ABOUT IT, IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE BECAUSE IT KEEPS THEM FROM RIDING ROUGHSHOD OVER US. THE TRUTH IS WE HAVE FAR MORE IN COMMON WITH THE DL MAN THAN HE REALIZES (WHO WOULD NEVER DARE HIT UP A GAY MAN SUCH AS MYSELF AGAIN). A WORLD OF PERFECT HARMONY WOULD BE LOVELY, BUT UNTIL THE RAPTURE COMES I’D RATHER WE FACE OFF AGAINST EACH OTHER RATHER THAN US AGAINST THEM & THE WORLD. THERE IS NOTHING LOGICAL, NATURAL OR BENEFICIAL ABOUT A WORLD ORGANIZED BY HOMOPHOBIA; THE VERY CONCEPT IS IRRATIONAL. WE ALL LOOSE WHEN WE ALLOW SOCIETY TO PUT US IN CERTAIN CATEGORIES. WHEN THE DL MAN REALIZES THAT HE HAS INTERNALIZED THE WORLD’S LOATHING OF HOMOSEXUALS HE WILL REALIZE THAT HE WAS BORN TO BE REAL & NOT PERFECT. BUT IF WE REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, IT IS NOT HOMOSEXUALITY PER SE THAT HAMSTRINGS US IN THE STRUGGLE TO ACHIEVE A JUST SOCIETY. IT IS OUR INABILITY TO TALK ABOUT & THINK OUR WAY THROUGH OUR PRECONCEPTIONS. IF ONLY THE DL MAN COULD ACCEPT WHO HE TRULY IS & THE GAY MAN STOP ACCEPTING HIM FOR WHAT HE IS NOT… ¿WHAT THE HELL?

REMEMBERING ESTELLE GETTY

Few things were certain when I was growing up, but The Golden Girls was one of them. I can remember for some odd reason that I LOVED watching this show; it gave me such a sense of happiness and joy that I can’t explain. I LOVED spending time in the company of these four ladies: Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia, a diminutive Sicilian firebrand who was infamous for her zingers and no BS attitude. The show went on to win four Golden Globes and numerous Emmys, including, for Getty, in 1988, one for outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series. Estelle Getty, who suffered from advanced dementia and died today @ the age of 84, wasn't always a sitcom queen. She got her start in Yiddish theater, but didn't break out until 1981, when she played Harvey Fierstein's mother in the Broadway play Torch Song Trilogy. She also had small roles in Tootsie (1982) and Mask (1985). In 1985 she started on The Golden Girls, which was an instant hit and quickly became a staple of NBC's Saturday night lineup. Getty later reprised the role of Sophia on The Golden Girls spinoff The Golden Palace (1992), and played the part of Grandma Estelle Little in the film Stuart Little (1999). Each of Getty's former Golden Girls co-stars reflected on her death: Rue McClanahan told the Associated Press, "Don't feel sad about her passing. She will always be with us in her crowning achievement, Sophia." Bea Arthur said in a statement, "Our mother-daughter relationship was one of the greatest comic duos ever, and I will miss her." Betty White remarked, "The only comfort at this moment is that although Estelle has moved on, Sophia will always be with us."In honor of Estelle, Lifetime TV, which airs The Golden Girls, announced that it will air ten episodes of the series featuring the best of Sophia on Friday, July 25. Fans can vote for their favorite episode on Lifetime's website. The winning episode will be aired last in the marathon.

INFINITE...

I feel that I have been blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life; he is the manifestation of dreams and proves that God really answers a man’s prayer. For as long as I can remember I always felt that there was a part of me that was missing. I would meet a man but I would end right where I was before meeting him…SINGLE! But for some reason I knew deep in the heart of me that I would find someone that wanted me AND the things that I wanted in life. So when God sent me a man all the way from St. Vincent I thought WOW he must really LOVE me. I MEAN WHAT ARE THE ODDS? When I laid eyes on him I knew he was the one, I knew that I was going to LOVE him…what I did NOT know was that my LOVE for him would GROW EVERYDAY! I heard about this LOVE in songs, been told about by others and dreamt of it; but NEVER did I think that it would be like this. I always thought that LOVE was LOVE and that there was this cap OR peak where it was concerned…BOY WAS I WRONG! How can anyone get to a place where they feel that LOVE stops? LOVE is like life; it keeps GROWING and CHANGING every second of everyday. And because LOVE is INFINITE, I get to hold him every night, seeing him everyday AND taking him in everyway and I know that I will NEVER have enough of him. NO matter what I am doing with my life, I will do it out of AND for the sake of LOVE that I have for him. For LOVE is the source of all miracles. It is NOT a passive thing; it is active force. It is NOT just some kind of a mushy feeling; it is a POWERFUL vibration that MUST be consciously practiced. IT HAS LONG BEEN SAID THAT LOVE IS THE ESSENCE OF LIFE. IT IS EVERYWHERE; IN A LOOK, A TOUCH & IN OUR EVERY BREATH. INFINITE LOVE IS THAT WHICH BRINGS A SENSE OF ALIVENESS IN OUR SOULS & GIVES THE HEART A SENSE OF PURPOSE…

UNINTENDED PAIN

We've all had our buttons pushed to the point where we feel we can't take it any more, and chances are, we've all pushed somebody else's buttons, with or without knowing it. The button pusher may not be conscious of what they're doing, but in the end the buttons belong to us, and we are the ones who must deal with what comes up. The more we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, the less tender these buttons will be. We've all had the experience of having someone snap at us, seemingly out of nowhere. This happens when we unconsciously push a button in someone else we didn't even know was there. This can happen with a complete stranger and sometimes with a person we've known and been close to for years. We ourselves may have a relationship with someone whose buttons we secretly like to push. Buttons are just soft spots that have been touched one too many times, and they symbolize some pain that needs to be acknowledged and healed. This may be a wound from childhood, or some recent trauma, that we haven't adequately tended. Whatever the case, when our buttons get pushed, the person who most needs our attention and caring is us, and blaming the button pusher only distracts us from finding a true resolution to our suffering. At the same time, if someone continually opens our wounds so that they never have time to heal, we are well within our rights to set a boundary with that person. Compulsive button pushers, who seem to find pleasure or satisfaction in hurting us, are not welcome in our personal space. In the end, knowing where our buttons are enables us to do the work necessary to heal. Freedom comes when we deal with the pain behind the button, thus disconnecting our automatic reaction to being pushed.

LOST IN TRANSLATION...

So today I write about an end of an era, an end of time that brought much joy and pleasure to my life. Today I say goodbye to times that my friends and I shared and though it was over coffee it was so much more than that. This was the time when we got to hear about each other’s week and what is going on in our lives. And it gave me such a GREAT feeling knowing that I was apart of this all…But as of late I have come to realize that there comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. And I have come to see that my friendships were NOT even OR based on my organizing OUR weekly sessions. Now I am realizing that spent precious time AND energy engaging in friendships that let me down, rather than nourish me nourish along my path. They say that life has many twists, turns AND challenges, hence I find it difficult to entertaining anyone in my inner circle who drains my energy. Moreover, I am surrounding myself with people that does NOT get me OR refuse to see who I truly am…and that is worst than anything I could imagine for my life. Here I am trying to not only show them the path but help them walk it…yet I sit here today with the thoughts that you attract those who reflect what you are and I do NOT feel that is the case. I have an old friend that is carrying negative attitudes OR ideas that need to be let go of in order to move forward, yet she insists that energy is kept alive. Add that to another that insists on being the human bicycle (NOT THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT) it is just that I find it VERY sad that he feels that this is the ONLY way he can get some sort of human touch. Then I have to deal with someone that I have known for 8 years but I still don’t know him. I get that you can NEVER know someone but…I feel that I am waiting for something to come to pass that simply will NOT! I know that EVERY relationship serves its purpose and I feel that the time has come for me to say I have done what I feel I should…now it is up to them…I GUESS IN ORDER TO CHANGE TO THE STATUS QUO IS TO HAVE A HEART TO HEART, BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’VE DONE THAT YET I STILL WRITE THIS BLOG ENTRY? I DON’T SEE THIS PROCESS AS ME ABANDONING MY FRIENDS; IT IS MERELY ABOUT ME SHIFTING OUR RELATIONSHIP SO THAT THEY CAN SUPPORT ME ON MY JOURNEY RATHER THAN HOLD ME BACK…I JUST HOPE THAT I AM NOT LOST IN TRANSLATION…

ACCEPTING AS GIVING

Giving and receiving are part of the same cycle, and we each give and receive in our own ways. But we can lose our balance when we try to be too controlling on either side of the cycle. On the receiving end, we may feel that we don't deserve the effort made if what we gave was easy for us to give. But perhaps there is a different lesson there for us. We may be receiving not only gratitude, but a chance to see the world through the eyes of another. We may be learning that just because we gave easily, it doesn't diminish its value. Or perhaps the universe is giving us an example to hold close to our hearts, to encourage us on some future day when our own generous act of giving is not met with a visible act of receiving. When we can allow ourselves to receive as well as give, we do our part to keep the channels of abundance open for ourselves and others. Sometimes we may find ourselves struggling to respond to others' gifts in the same ways-like responding to an expensive present with something equally expensive, or feeling like we have to throw a dinner party for someone who has thrown one for us. But when these are done out of a sense of obligation, their energy changes from something that shares to something that drains. If this sounds familiar, we can decide next time to allow ourselves to receive with arms, minds and hearts open and simply say thank you. Accepting a person's gift is a gift in itself. Sincere appreciation for their acknowledgement and their effort joins our energy with theirs in the cycle of giving and receiving, and nurtures all involved. If ever we find we are still having difficulty, we can decide to allow ourselves to be conduits for gratitude and accept on behalf of a loving, giving universe.

THE WORKING ME...EMPLOYING PRESENCE

As morning came I realize that I had to get out of my nice comfy bed and go earn my paycheck @ a place that I considered to be my stop over until I take my journey to where I really wanted to be. I went back and forth about quitting so many times that I lost count, each time I told myself that I wouldn’t something OR someone made me realize that I was making a mistake. YES I needed to work because like everyone on this planet I have things that require money; but I thought @ what cost? How does one know what is the right thing to do when he is split down the middle? I talked it over with Noel (MY FUTURE HUSBAND) close friends AND God, but nothing came to me. My UNIVERSAL AWAKENING was rippling AND tipping and it made me feel so angry AND frustrated @ my country because somehow, some way there is this STALE energy that exists in the working world in the Bahamas. And it seems that WE humans are like LITTLE bitches playing roles that ultimately decide who lives AND dies. As a conscious seeker, I am all about breaking through the old AND outmoded way of the working world…IT IS ALL ABOUT EMPLOYING PRESENCE! So many of us are just about having a job; I am about having THE job AND being PRESENT @ that job. I know that I was WASTING my time doing something somewhere for some reason but I am NOT quite sure what that something is…I can say that I brought this on myself because when I first got there I was NOT present, I did NOT start with the right intention for what I was about to do. I suppose in my own way I knew that this was going to be my end, either I quit OR it’ll quit me. The problem for me is that when I stepped through the doors of my workplace, I ceased being myself AND started being just an employee. Before leaving for work today, I should have cleared my energy AND step out with my BEST foot forward. But all in all I have to say that I am NOT disappointed in myself because I knew what was going to happen before I even got there, I just did NOT think that things would take the path that it had. CE LA VIE! I AM GLAD THIS HAPPEN BECAUSE THIS ONLY PUSHES ME MORE TO GET THINGS STARTED & MAKE MY MOVE TO THE UNITED STATES OR CANADA (AS PER NOEL’S VOICE OF REASON). I HAVE ACCEPTED THAT MY LIFE IS NO LONGER IN THE BAHAMAS & THAT IT IS TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON A LONG TIME AGO; I GUESS THE UNIVERSE IS JUST CATCHING UP TO ME…NO MATTER BECAUSE THE GIFT OF MY FREEDOM & MY DESIRE TO HAVE A JOB THAT WORTHY OF ME & I OF IT WILL ONLY ADD TO MY ALIGNMENT WITH THE UNIVERSE. THE BEAUTY OF THIS LIFE, THOUGH, IT PROVIDES US WITH TROUBE WATERS, IT ALSO GIVES US A BRIDGE TO THE OTHER SIDE WHERE THAT WHICH I SEEK CAN BE FOUND…

¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY?

WE ARE IN A STATE OF EMERGENCY! TREATING OTHER WITHOUT RESPECT, LYING, CHEATING & STEALING & THESE ARE JUST A FEW THINGS THAT ARE DESTROYING OUR COMMUNITY. WE SEEM TO HAVE LOST OUR, MY THINKING IS THAT WE NEVER HAD IT IN THE FIRST PLACE! IN MY COMMUNITY I SEE MYSELF, I SEE US MAKING STRIDES IN PUTTING THINGS WHERE THEY SHOULD BE, I SEE BEING ALL THAT WERE MEANT TO BE. BUT BEFORE WE GET THERE I THINK THAT WE SHOULD ASK OURSELVES THESE QUESTIONS…WILL YOU JOIN ME IN MAKING THINGS GREAT FOR US?

1. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT CELEBRATES MEN LIKE?
2. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT EMPOWERS ME?
3. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT SETS THE FOUNDATION FOR GOOD THINGS TO COME?
4. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT AIDS IN MY GROWTH & SHOWS ME WHAT IT IS TO BE A GAY MAN?
5. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY WHEN WE GET KICKED OUT OF FAMILY HOME BECAUSE OF OUR SEXUALITY?
6. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY WHEN THE DOCTOR ADVISES ONE OF US THAT WERE HIV+?
7. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT MAKES SURE THAT NOT ONE OF US GOES TO BED HUNGRY?
8. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY IN UPLIFTING EACH & EVERY ONE TO BETTER THEMSELVES?
9. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY IN ENSURING THAT OUR RIGHTS ARE SECURED & PROTECTED?
10. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT LETS US KNOW THAT WE HAVE MORE TO OFFER THAN A D!CK OR ASS?
11. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT TEACHES US HOW TO CO-EXIST IN A WORLD WHERE WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN SET OF VALUES?
12. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY TELLS US THAT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE WAY WE ARE?
13. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT TEACHES US TO VALUE OTHERS?
14. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT TELLS THAT BEING FABULOUS DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU NO SUBSTANCE?
15. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT IS ALL ABOUT LOYALTY?
16. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT IS ALL ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY?
17. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT IS ALL ABOUT TRUST?
18. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT IS ALL ABOUT FAMILY?
19. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT KNOWS THAT FRIENSHIP IS VITALLY IMPORTANT?
20. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT KNOWS THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE VITAL FOR OUR SURVIVAL?
21. ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BELIEVES IN GOD?

YES, WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY? CALL ME A CRAZY DREAMER, BUT MY COMMUNITY IS RIGHT HERE. IT IS IN, OUT & AROUND ME…JUST BARELY OUT OF REACH…WE JUST NEED TO COME TOGETHER & BE THE COMMUNITY THAT CARES ABOUT EVERY SINGLE ELEMENT ON THIS PLANET…I KNOW WE CAN DO IT; I KNOW IT CAN HAPPEN…¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY?

HIV: WELCOME TO THE DARKNESS

Many of us complain about the state of the community. Some think that all the cheating, all the lying, all the one night stands, and getting an STD is all there is to the HOMOSEXUAL lifestyle. We believe that OUR hearts MUST be broken in order to know what LOVE is. We seem to think that a BIG dick is what others value us by. Moreover it is all about the tight asses AND how many one can conquer; but I wonder do these things really need to OUR legacy…OUR life? So many of us say that we VALUE ourselves yet we go to that CRUISING spot, that SEX party and engage in activity that de-values us. HOW CAN WE HONESTLY SAY THAT WE ARE GAY & PROUD? WHAT IS THERE TO BE PROUD OF? There is NO denying that a lot of men have gorgeous bodies. The tight abs, six pack, flat stomachs, smooth looking skin tones are all GOOD qualifiers; but they are NOT the be all and end all. WHY IS THAT WHEN WE SEE A MAN GOOD SHIRTLESS, SHOWHING OFF HIS CHEST & SMALL WAIST WE LOSE OUR SENSE OF SELF? HOW DOES THE SIGHT OF A D!CK MAKE US FORGET EVERYTHING THAT WAS TOLD TO US ABOUT SAFE SEX & DISEASE PREVENTION? It is as if we come out to play in the darkness and it our home; expressing ourselves in ways that we won’t try in the light of day. How can we allow ourselves to crave a human touch in such a way? I get that someone touching us is how we acknowledging that we are here. However, the flip side to that is a chance with a disease that lurks in this place. In the moment this DARKNESS does NOT matter because we are NOT THAT FATHER, SON, UNCLE, NEPHEW or even FRIEND…WE ARE JUST BEINGS WHO WANTS TO BE LOVED; and this LOVE causes MORE pain than it is worth. This darkness holds many hostages AND is an addiction that cannot be broken. I guess this danger is exciting because so many of us reside in this place and the HIV infection rates go from one to another. Nonetheless, my hope AND prayer is that WE will NOT allow this disease to take us out in the manner in which it is. I LONG FOR THE DAY THAT WE ARE ABLE TO BE FREE IN THE LIGHT, TO EXPLORE WHO WE ARE & WHAT WE ARE MEANT TO BE. WE NEED TO STOP POURING SALT IN OUR WOUNDS & BEGIN THE HEALING PROCESS. WE NEED TO OPEN THE DOOR OF LIGHT & WALK THROUGH FOR WE CANNOT GO BACK, THE DOOR OF DARKNESS CLOSED & LOCKED ITSELF. HOWEVER WE HAVE THE KEY & WE CAN UNDO WHAT HAS BEEN DONE. THOUGH WE CANNOT TAKE BACK WHAT IS GONE, WE CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE TEMPTATION. WE ARE LIVING IN A LAND FULL OF SEXUAL PEOPLE & IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO ENSURE THAT WE ARE TREATING SEX IN THE MANNER IT SHOULD BE. I BELIEVE THAT WE ARE NOT BEING PUNISHED FOR THE SEX WE ARE HAVING, HOWEVER WE ARE PUNISHING SEX BY HAVING IT IN THE DARK.

DEAR YOU...

Isn’t it time that you prioritize over smokescreens? I mean excuses may seem like rational reasons for us not to do something, but if we're not careful we can allow them to keep us from reaching ourselves. Too often we accept our excuses as reasons why life is the way it is; but if we are honest with ourselves AND take charge of OUR lives, we will begin to notice that we will be better for it. It is my thought that when we keep our minds focused on ourselves we will find what we need to be who we are meant to be. Our energy is diverted and we need to find ways to get it back…

1. 
   
   
   DEAR ME…Write a love letter to yourself. In the letter describe what you really like about you, and what you'd like to improve about yourself. Keep it in a special place you can refer to when needed.



2. 
   
   
   SCHEDULING TIME…Make appointments with yourself to do artistic or spiritually uplifting activities. Consider doing things like a taking a tour through an art museum, or taking a walk in a secluded area. This can enlighten you as you learn a few things about yourself



3. 
   
   
   THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE…Enjoy the finer things in life! Eat on your GOOD dishes. Enjoy a candlelit meal. Listen to a favorite CD over champagne. Wear your favorite clothes. Treat yourself to unexpected present.



4. 
   
   
   FREEDOM OF YOURSELF…Give yourself freedom to make mistakes. Instead of questioning why you are doing, or may have done, something, just accept that you did it. Know inside that you'll handle it when you're ready to, and that it is okay to do just that.



5. 
   
   
   FORGIVENESS…Forgive yourself for something in your past. Write a letter of apology that includes everything you might have done. Seal it in an envelope, and keep it somewhere private.



6. 
   
   
   DAY-BY-DAY…Live life day-by-day. Try not to worry about what will, or will not happen in the future. Or, what may, or may not have happened in your past. All things are created in the present. Remember, your future and your past are created by what you are doing right now this very moment.



7. 
   
   
   STOP ALL CRITICISM…Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive. So praise yourself it builds up spirit.



8. 
   
   
   DON’T SCARE YOURSELF…Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.



9. 
   
   
   BE KIND TO YOUR MIND…Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.



10. 
    
    
    SUPPORT YOURSELF…Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.



11. 
    
    
    TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY…Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.



12. 
    
    
    MIRROR WORK…Look into your own eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: "I love you, I really love you!"



13. 
    
    
    LOVE YOURSELF - DO IT NOW! Don't wait until you get well or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin NOW - do the best you can.

EACH STAGE WE GO THROUGH IN LIFE HAS ITS TIME OF FULFILLMENT & RECESSION, AS DO ALL THINGS. EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY STAGE HAS ITS OWN PARTICULAR BEAUTY & I WANT YOU TO APPRECIATE THAT. HENCE AS YOU GO ABOUT YOUR LIFE ON A DAILY BASIS, I WANT YOU TO CARRY THESE THOUGHTS WITH SO THAT YOU CAN BE @ YOUR BEST @ ALL TIMES.

¿DO YOU HAVE A "TRUE" TESTIMONY?

We all have our own life story. It is filled with relationships and events that help shape who we are and what we believe to be TRUE about the world. Depending on our perspective and willingness to grow, our experiences can become element for negativity and patterns of playing the victim, or they can fuel a life of empowerment and continued self-development. It is the story we tell ourselves about what happens that makes all the difference. I often think about life and how we as a people deal with it. Everyday we are faced with challenges that some times we are not prepared for. Whether it is a negative phone call, a disturbing event or a nasty individual, somehow we are challenged. When this happens to you, how do you deal with it? Are you quick to respond according to the flesh OR do you rise up and let your humanity stand? If one were to take a moment to look at the life story they created for themselves, I am SURE most will NOT feel @ peace with the past AND fret about the future. So many of us stand up and say that we are GOD-FEARING but we are NOT! We don’t take care of OUR fellow man and are so concern about ourselves. How can we have a TRUE testimony if WE retain a lot of guilt OR resentment AND often feel weighed down by the life we live? No matter who the characters are in your story OR what they have done, you are the only one who can give their actions the meaning they will have for you. You are the only one who can define what role you will play in the lives of others. It is time for us to STOP giving these COMMERICAL testimonies where the TRUTH is altered to sound good to the listeners. WE NEED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR TESTIMONIES FOR THEY REALLY CAN ENABLE US TO LEARN, GROW, FORGIVE & FIND COMPASSION THAT WILL MOVE US INTO A BETTER FUTURE. WE ARE OUR VERY OWN AUTHORS OF THE TESTIMONIES THAT WE WRITE; ISN’T TIME THAT WE CREATE A TRUE MASTERPIECE? DO YOU HAVE A TESTIMONY? I MEAN AN UNDENIABLE CONFESSION OF THE GOODNESS OF GOD & MANKIND?

¿WHAT IS YOUR STORY?

It's easy to forget sometimes that everyone has a story to tell if we take the time to listen. We are so accustomed to hearing the stories of people in the news that we sometimes lose track of the fact that the random stranger on the bus also has a fascinating story about where they came from and how they got to be where they are. The sheer variety of paths taken in this world, from farmers to CEOs to homeless people to world travelers, is indicative of how much we can learn from each individual. Sometimes the shy, quiet person at work has the most amazing life story and the biggest dreams; it is up to us to take the time to find out. Some people travel a path of wealth and privilege, while others struggle with only themselves to rely on, and both have great stories to tell. Each person learns lessons, makes choices, and develops a unique perspective, which only they can claim and share. Even two people who have had very similar lives will have slightly different experiences, leading them to a different point of view, so each person remain a treasure trove waiting to be explored. When we take the time to ask questions and listen, we find that every person has a fascinating story to tell and an utterly unique perspective from which to tell it. Bearing this in mind, we have the opportunity to approach the world around us in a new way. There is never any reason to be bored at a party, or on the bus, or in a conversation with a stranger. When we retain the spark of curiosity and the warmth required to open someone up, we always have in front of us the makings of a great story. All we have to do is ask.

PERFECTION OF MAN IS...

¿HIS SPIRITUAL & LOVE OF SELF?

¿HIS COMMITMENT?

¿HIS PHYSICAL STRENGTH?

¿HIS PHYSICAL APPERANCE?

¿HIS D!CK?

¿HIS ASS?

¿HIS ABS?

HAPPY EARTH~DAY BAHAMAS!

Message from Prime Minister, the Rt. Hon. Hubert A. Ingraham on The Bahamas' 35th Anniversary of Independence: This year we celebrate 35 years of Independence, a significant milestone in the life of a young nation. I extend best wishes for a happy anniversary to Bahamians everywhere. This year we mark the anniversary of our nationhood during a period of considerable unease in the global community. Indeed, external challenges are increasing, especially with regard to trade issues, environmental concerns, the supply of energy and the cost of food. The fallout on our communities are several but principally economic and social. It is times such as these that we must recall our past and build upon the traditions and customs and institutions that serve as the foundation of our country. We are fortunate to have a strong foundation. So as we celebrate this 35th anniversary of our independence, it is right for us to renew our commitment to guard and defend our institutions and the principles that give life and meaning to them. I pay tribute to Bahamians everywhere. I wish to pay special tribute to all those Bahamians who, over the years, have helped to put and keep our country on the international map by their work and achievements. I speak of those who work in our diplomatic, tourism and maritime services in the Americas, in Europe and in the Far East. Most of the service they render is quiet and little recognized but vitally important. Most of them will be celebrating independence at their posts in foreign lands. There are others who have, over the years, brought us fame and glory by their achievements in different areas. And that brings me to the message I should like to leave with you this Independence Day and it is this: We are a talented people, we are a resourceful people, we are a cultured people; and if we draw on all our talents, all our resources and all our cultural strength, we will be able to meet the multitude of challenges that face us from without and from within. I believe that if we as a people delve deep into our positive cultural roots we will successfully meet and overcome the internal challenges we face. The vast majority of Bahamians, including our young people, are on the right track and doing the right things, and I believe the future will be safe with them. We must let them know that; we must encourage and celebrate them. So strengthened, we will also face external challenges, craft and implement programmes to deal with them and to together build a better future for all our people. Fellow Bahamians, wherever you may be -- in New Providence, in Grand Bahama, and in our Family Islands or in foreign lands -- I wish you a happy and safe Independence Day and pray God’s blessings upon our nation and upon each and every one of us.

DOUBLE DIPPING

What happens when your committed partner grows bored with your sex life and desires to see other people? He doesn't exactly tell you; and he just somehow sleeps with other people from time to time. I am of the opinion that NOTHING good comes in threes…tires, shoes OR relationships, so when he takes it upon himself to have sex with another person outside of the relationship I say that it is over. Three persons in a relationship can be a good idea if all parties involved agreed to such a thing. However, most of us seem to either forget OR have amnesia when it comes to letting the other person know that they are DOUBLE DIPPING. We need to understand that HEALTHY relationships are a complete package; emotionally, spiritually, mentally AND sexually. I cringe when I hear gay men make excuses for the deficiencies in their relationships. How can it be okay to F&CK someone else because your partner is NOT what you want anymore, but he hasn’t done anything wrong so you cannot leave him? Of course, no relationship is perfect and there are always things that couples can work through together, but the first step to solving a relationship issue is recognizing that there is indeed an issue rather than getting it on with someone else. Either way a relationship cannot fix itself if one partner is seeking sexual gratification elsewhere. Things like this make me so upset and I wonder why is it that WE gay men are SO willing to accept a part time relationship, but demand everything else in our lives be complete? How quickly we insist our food to be prepared @ a fast food restaurant, but we willingly accept an incomplete man? Why should we settle for men that want every part of us except monogamy? I SAY CLOSE THE VALVE ON THE FLOOD OF HIS DOUBLE DIPPING & FORCE HIM TO THE TABLE & GET TO THE BOTTOM OF HIS NEED TO SEEK OUTSIDE ACTION. LOVE SHOULD NEVER BE CONFUSED WITH HAPPINESS & IT IS INHUMANE TO LOVE THINGS THAT ARE NOT GOOD FOR US. THE CORE OF A PARTNERSHIP SHOULD BE TO DEVELOP THE MOST COMPLETE BOND POSSIBLE. WHY ARE WE ATTEMPTING TO CREATE A TRIANGLE WITH TWO SIDES THAT ARE BROKEN? DOUBLE DIPPING CANNOT FIX WHAT IS WRONG WITH A CURRENT RELATIONSHIP; IT MAY SPICE THINGS UP TEMPORARILY, BUT THE INTENT IS FOR US TO LIVE FOR A WHILE ON THIS PLANET. SO WE NEED TO GET OUR ACT TOGETHER OR WE WILL HAVE A COMMUNITY THAT IS OUT OF CONTROL…WAIT WE ALREADY DO…

10 WORST BLOWJOB MISTAKES

1. TEETH - The number one blowjob mistake: letting your teeth hit the cock. This CANNOT be stressed enough. Ask any guy and he'll tell you again and again: nothing is worse than a blowjob that is ALL TEETH. In fact, most men won't admit it, but their idea of a perfect blowjob would be getting sucked off by someone with removable dentures. Teeth can nick and scrape the sensitive skin of the penis. Open your mouth wide enough that they stay away from his cock, or suck your lips in over them to cushion the rough edges. If he's wearing a condom during the blowjob this may provide a slight buffer, but don't count on it.
2. GOING TOO FAST – Some guys enjoy a quickie, but unless they're in a hurry to get back to work or back to their mate, most men like to savor the experience of getting their cock sucked. So don't rush them. It's not a race to see how fast you can get him to spurt. Take your time and make it last. Concentrate on different parts of his penis, or his balls, and then go back to basic sucking and stroking. At the end of a luxuriant BJ session, he'll blow a much larger, more satisfying load.
3. SUCKING TOO HARD – Hovering him like a dust buster may seem like a good idea in theory, but there's a wrong way to do it. Don't fasten your mouth around the head of his cock and suck like you're trying to get a triple-thick milkshake though a straw. Guys' dickheads are the most sensitive part of the penis, and uncut guys are even more sensitive there. The proper technique to hover is to take more of his cock into your mouth and apply moderate suction.
4. CRUSHING THE NUTS – Don't grab the balls and squeeze like you're trying to crack walnuts. This is a move you want to pull on a would-be rapist, not a guy you're trying to get off. It's painful. Many guys like to have their sack rubbed, licked, or gently tugged during a bj. You can even take a break from sucking his cock to take one or both of his balls into your mouth. But don't yank on the family jewels, and don't put them in a vise grip.
5. BARFING & GAGGING – Throwing up while giving a bj is definitely a turn-off, although sometimes this happens to the most well-intentioned cocksuckers. What happens is they get overenthusiastic, take the cock too deep or hard into their throat, the gag reflex gets triggered, and then it's all over. Or once the cum starts hitting the back of her throat, things start flowing the wrong way. Don't try to deep throat on your first BJ. Everyone will be sorry. Practice first on dildos to get your gag-reflex under control. Or just work up to it at your own speed.
6. REMAINING IMMOBILE – Putting his cock in your mouth and then doing nothing is as bad as overdoing it. Most guys don't want to feel like they're face-fucking a cadaver. You need to work it at least a little. A total lack of effort or enthusiasm on your part is a real buzz kill. If you don't know what to do with your tongue, at least bob your head. After a while, he may want to take a more active role and have you relax while he fucks your mouth, but you need to give him a little encouragement to get him aroused.
7. ENOUGH PRESSURE – Wimpy blowjobs are no fun. Be firm and suck him like you mean it. Lapping his dick lightly will just make him feel teased. Licking his dick like it's a lollipop or popsicle may be fun to get warmed up, but then you have to get down to business. Use a firm (but not too firm) hand to work the shaft of his cock, while you get your mouth all over his knob and caress it with your tongue.
8. SPITTING – Most guys want you to swallow and think that a BJ really isn't complete until his load goes down your throat. The only exception is if he gets off more on spraying it on your face or somewhere else. If you really don't want to swallow, this can be an acceptable compromise. Symbolically, swallowing shows that you accept him and his manly essence fully. Although I can't endorse unprotected bodily fluid exchange in any form, if you happen to be giving an unprotected blowjob (i.e., without a condom) and you end up with his juice in your mouth, do not retch his cum into a wastebasket in front of him. If you really feel you must spit, do it discreetly into a towel or tissue.
9. DRY MOUTH – A good BJ involves a lot of saliva. Don't be afraid to get a little sloppy and drool on his cock. If your mouth is dry from nervousness or whatever, there will be too much friction and stickiness to give good head. If your mouth is dry, drink some water and rinse. Try to work up a good mouthful of spit before you go down. Suck on a hard candy to get your juice flowing, or suck on an Altoid to give him a mentholated BJ.
10. STRANGLEHOLD – Don't put his cock in a death grip. It's fine to wrap a hand around the shaft, but don't clench and for god's sake, watch the nails. Just hold it enough to keep it from flopping around and shuck his pole with your hand while you work him with your mouth. His dick shouldn't have a handprint on in when you're done.

THE F&CK BUDDY

Imagine this scenario: you’ve been seeing a guy for a few months. He is great to be with and very affectionate, but when the morning arrives you both go your separate ways. You don’t hang out outside of the bedroom and you don’t call each other up the next day to say you had a good time, unless you’re calling for another session…HOW MANY OF WE GAY MEN CAN SAY THAT IS THE CURRENT STATE OF OUR SEX LIVES? WHEN A GAY MAN GETS HORNY ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN; & EVERYTHING DOES…This person(s) is only ever on the scene when SEX is the intention. He is NOT a FRIEND-WITH-BENEFITS; he is someone that is in your life purely to satisfy your sexual needs. He is the kinda person that can’t really stay in a stable relationship but has a VERY healthy sex drive with NO qualms about calling you up whenever he wants some good old fashioned F&CKING. Neverhteless, is there MORE to a F&CK buddy than his desire to have sex? I guess he has his benefits, but in long-term AND short-term scope of things does it matter if he has a benefit? I SAY NO! I have bore witness to too many GAY MEN go down the toilet. And although they were there physically, I don’t believe that a F&CK BUDDY is good emotionally. There are so many pros to the idea of a F&CK BUDDY; that it seems as if it better than being in a REAL relationship, but it is NOT. The MAJOR problem with finding a PERFECT F&CK BUDDY is that it will most certainly lead to it being more than what it is. There is NO way in this world you can have SEX with someone and NOT form some sort of bond with that person. BUT IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT I SAY LET THE HUNT BEGIN! JUST DON'T FORGET THE RULES...

WHAT ARE THE RULES? Some say that they are simple things that should be followed in order to have a F&CK BUDDY:

1. Both parties must have respect for each other; it’s that simple. No respect, no sex.
2. Both parties must understand the situation. You both need to know that what you have is purely physical and nothing more will ever develop out of it. If you aren’t sure or feel the other person may not be certain about the situation then you must ask or explain the circumstances.
3. There should be a mutual physical/sexual chemistry or attraction to one another. If you can’t bear to look at the person sober or they’re not wild enough for you in bed then there is no point in continuing a relationship based on sex with them.
4. You must both be able to communicate what you want, when you want it, and how you want it. Remember, you are both spending time together in order to get what you want, which is satisfaction. If they aren’t sure or aren’t doing something the way you like it, then tell them how it’s done before giving up completely.
5. You should have few or no mutual friends. This one is very important to me. It can become a very sticky situation if you know a lot of the same people and may have to be careful in making sure that nothing is revealed to them. You shouldn’t have to worry about being found out. It’s okay to have mutual friends in a friends-with-benefits situation, but not with a fuck buddy.
6. Only call/text/email/message/whatever with the intention of fucking or arranging your next fuck. They need to understand that that is all there is between the two of you and that there’s nothing more to say.
7. This leads me to my next rule, which is: share little about your life or day except the basics. Sure, you can make some small talk asking how their day was, finding out what they do for a living or whatever, but don’t go on a rant about what a bad day you had at work, how your friend is getting married soon, blah blah blah. You are there to have sex, not to find a confidante or establish an emotional connection.
8. This next rule is not set in stone by any means but I find it is best if you see each other no more than once every other week. Seeing each other any more than that tends to lead to one person developing feelings for the other or the sex becoming less exciting. Although there have been a couple of occasions where it has worked seeing somebody once or twice a week, it has never lasted for very long.
9. NEVER under any circumstances should you spend the night at their place or let them sleepover. I don’t care how tired you/they are or how drunk, call yourself (or them) a cab and get out of there. Once the sex is over, their purpose has been met and there is no need for them to stick around. Why would you want to experience the morning after with your fuck buddy whom I’ve already said you shouldn’t be sharing much personal information with? If you want morning-after sex then tell them you’ll call in the morning and kick them out.
10. Always use protection. If you aren’t exclusively fucking each other (that is, you haven’t agreed that you won’t fuck anybody else) then you should be using condoms. Why risking getting an STD from whomever else they may or may not be sleeping with?
11. Play out your fantasies and try new things! With a fuck buddy, you don’t have to worry about what they think or how they may react to your strange requests. If they don’t want to try something out then either deal with it or try with someone else. The point of a fuck buddy is satisfaction, so don’t be afraid to get creative! Another rule, which not everyone may agree with, is to not discuss anything about your fuck buddy and your escapades with your friends. Personally, I feel that a fuck buddy is a private thing and they should only be thought about when you desire sex, not while you are having coffee with your friends discussing their boyfriends or girlfriends. Although I think it is okay to share a bit of a really juicy or extremely gratifying night once in awhile!
12. Finally, one of the most important yet often ignored rules: once someone develops feelings for the other or another person, STOP! If you don’t end it quickly, things will get very complicated and messy, I guarantee it.
13. …But do NOT forget how to dispose of your F&CK BUDDY when your done with them.

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY IS THAT AS GAY MEN WE HESITATE TO PUT OUR PARTNERS ON THE SAME PEDESTAL EMOTIONALLY AS WE DO SEXUALLY? SOUND BACKWARDS? NOT REALLY! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF HE INSISTED THAT DURING SEX YOU STAY ON ONE SIDE OF THE ROOM BEHING A SCREEN, WHILE HE STAYS IN THE OPPOSITE CORNER? THERE WOULD BE NO TOUCHING ALLOWED, SURE THE CONVERSATION COULD BE INTERESTING; BUT THE ENCOUNTER WOULD NOT BE ENJOYABLE. SO WHY DO WE FIND ACCEPTABLE FOR US TO HAVE A F&CK BUDDY? AREN’T WE MERELY SITTING IN OUR OWN ISOLATED EMOTIONAL CORNER? I AM NO EXPERT, BUT I HAD MY FAIR SHARE OF F&CK BUDDIES & I KNOW THE PLACE ALL TOO WELL…IF ONLY WE COULD FIND THE ONE THAT WOULD MAKE US WANT TO STAY WITH HIM…