THE HOMO~THUG & THE DRAG~QUEEN...

ISN'T IT INSANE HOW MOST IF NOT ALL OF US LOOK @ THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE IN TWO DIFFERENT WAYS? THERE ARE TWO BOXES & THEY ARE LABELLED MASCULINE or FEMININE, AND ITS CRAZY HOW THEY ARE VIEWED.When comparing both CHARACTERS doesn’t it seem as if they are both the same just playing different roles? The MASCULINE takes on the role of the HOMOTHUG, whereas the FEMININE takes on the role of the DRAG QUEEN. So tell me this if the HOMO THUG is just a MAN that dresses up in baggy jeans, a BIG SHIRT, a TWISTED HAT and an ATTITUDE to match. Whereas the DRAG QUEEN is a man that dresses up in aWIG, PUMPS, a DRESS and the attitude to match. How are they seen as the NEGATIVEand POSITIVE aspects of the HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE? WHY CAN’T BOTH PERSONAS BE IDOLIZE AND CHERISH? 

I find that we rather live in a SAD and SCARY SOCIETY when HOMO THUGS are IDOLIZED and seen as the EPITOME of MAN. If one searches for the meaning of a THUG, one would see things like GANGSTA, HOOLIGAN or BRUTE now tell me how does this make persons feel good about DATING, HAVING SEX or THINKING THIS IS A MAN’S MAN? This man takes on the persona of thug but really enjoys MALE PUSSY. So this makes him a better GAY MAN, even better than aDRAG QUEEN? Now I am not saying that the DRAG QUEEN is a better option but I am saying that he is no less of a MAN than the HOMO THUG. Yes, he shows us the side ofHOMOSEXUALITY that makes us feel uncomfortable, but who is really the odd man out?

Why do you HATE on the DRAG QUEEN because he is effeminate wear the large sunglasses and a swish? We always fall down when it comes to identifying who we are and want to fit in, but NEWS FLASH WE ARE NOT MEANT TO! We represent something DIFFERENT, something SPECIAL…something GOD FEARING; so why do we live as if that is not the case? I HATE LABELS & THE THOUGHT OF PLACING MYSELF INTO SOME BOX THAT IS NICELY WRAPPED UP WITH A BOW ON TOP DOES NOT MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING A MAN. I cannot understand why after all this time on this planet we cannot seem to find OUR OWN PEACE OF MIND. HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF SUBSCRIBING TO EITHER ROLE, CHARACTER or STEREOTYPE; WE JUST STAY IN THE MIDDLE? We need to see these ROLES as a form of expression and when persons PLAY DRESS UP, THAT IS ALL IT IS. Nonetheless, we are hard pressed to ASSUME that the GAMES of SEXUALITY are real and we further complicate the layers of SEXUALITY. We are all individuals so why do we want to subscribe to a person that is trying to play the majority? HOMOSEXUALITY is still an acceptable prejudice and no amount of clothes or make up will change that.

We need to come to together and show a united front in order to get the things that we fear the most out of way, which is OURSELVES. We as community need to face the REAL HARDSHIPS and make a change instead of pretending that it does not exist. There is too much DRAMA/PASSION IN LIFE TO BE a THUG & a QUEEN FULL TIME. I cannot really understand the logic behind homophobia. This PARANOIA, this AVOIDANCE just constantly reinforcing the NEGATIVE and POSITIVE aspect of MASCULINITY and FEMININITY. We DECREASE and LESSEN the competition for PUSSY and @ THE END OF THE DAY WE ALL NEED TO TAKE OUR D!CKS OUT OF OUR ASSES & LET GO OF THE FACT THAT WE ARE CONSUMED WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, FEELINGS & EMOTIONS WHEN IT COMES TO TWO MEN F&CKING. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THAT CHANGE WILL COME…

...BUT HE HAS A MAN!

…AND SO IT IS SAME OLD STORY; BOY, MEETS BOY HAS SEX…THEN BOY MEETS OTHER BOY and FOOLS AROUND…THEN BOY TALKS TO OTHER BOY & TRIES TO F&CK HIM. I FIND IT VERY INTERESTING WHAT STRANGE BEDFELLOWS GAY MEN MAKE ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE ALL CONNECTED IN SOME WAY. Now the thing about it is that I had no idea that this BOY was a common factor among the F&CK BUDDY, the MUTUAL FOREPLAY and the YOU ARE NEXT ON THE LIST MAN. This all came to light when ALL three of them was out and life would have it that we saw him and it must have been very strange for him, what are the odds that we all would know each other? Therefore, it became evident who the F&CK BUDDY’S buddy was, it was ever so CLEAR who the MUTUAL FOREPLAY person was and I thought wow he thinks that I am next. When I met him it was a typical online chat above board and simple, little did I know that he I had talked with two other persons I could have his entire story; proves that there is so such thing as the DL or JUST BETWEEN US. Therefore, now I am in disbelief because there are things that I know now, the pieces of the puzzle were in place and the finality of it does not produce a feeling of accomplishment. He seemed so lost, so broken…so needing something or someone to be there for him and now I find that he is just a SELFISH ASSHOLE that does not know how to be a MAN. I find it weird or interesting how he saw ALL three men and thought nothing of it, because later that night he met the F&CK BUDDY and fucked him and three days later, he was trying to get himself into my house and ASS. For me this is a situation that puts me in a weird place because I want to tell him off but I cannot because that would betray a friend’s confidence so I have to let sleeping dogs lie. I WILL SAY THAT I HAVE LOST ALL RESPECT FOR F&CK BUDDY BECAUSE I TOLD HIM WHAT HE WAS ABOUT AND IT DID NOTHING TO DETER HIM FROM ALLOW THIS MAN TO GET WITH HIM. They say that we keep company with persons that reflect that which we are; I am here to say on this day, at this hour he does not in any shape, form or fashion reflect who I am as a MAN. He is sad and pathetic to allow such a person use him for what will only be a few moments of pleasure; I wonder if he knows that his time has long passed and he needs to stop using the LIFESTYLE as if it’s only purpose is for a quick F&CK. How lonely can a MAN be? How can a MAN, any MAN allow this to make them who they are? How can a MAN live with himself feeling a sense of PRIDE and ACCOMPLISHMENT? ONLY GOD KNOWS & I PRAY THAT HE TELLS ME! I WONDER WHAT GOD IS THINKING AS HE COMES TO HIS HOUSE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING TO GET A SAMPLE? HOW CAN ONE FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING WITH SOMEONE WHEN IT WORKS FOR HIM? Why put oneself through this drama that leaves the mere shell of manhood? I wonder how many times HE will ride this roller coaster with him? How long before HE can minimizes the damage, love himself and believe in his own worth? THIS SADDENS ME TO NO END BECAUSE I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT HE HAS A MAN & YET D!CK STILL FINDS IT’S WAY IN OUR CIRCLE…

HE CAN'T

It doesn't mean a thing my translation of love,

And all of my pretense and offense

But in my defense

I can’t blame him

It is I who knows me inside out

And our declarations of love

Are words on a string

There are lines that define

And refine

Also confine

And I feel as if the sky raining down on me

And I hate this tension between time and eternity

I am stuck between the between

And somewhere in between

I am time and timelessness

Colliding with the future past and present

Living among the unborn

Waiting for love to plant a dream

And shine on me like a lighthouse beam

Between the conscious and the unconscious

As I wonder to and fro

Not knowing where to go

Regurgitating the past

From the bottom of what I am

Now I find that nothing is lost

And illusions have their cost

Hence in the four corners of the mind

I know when he whispers love to me

They are just words

And words have no eyes

But in the middle of somewhere

Lies the truth

And I am hoping beyond my reality

For reality to be a dream

And the fact that he can’t love me

Hangs on my mind

Hangs on the edge

As if life was nothing

And my truth is fiction

Thus the perils of existence

I am still looking forward to looking back

Trying to catch a shadow

Because he can’t love me.

© tgk

¡DO U!

PRIMARILY I WANT TO SAY THAT I AM JUST AN OUTSIDER, AN OBSERVER THE INNOCENT BYSTANDER AND THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS, FEELINGS & OPINIONS. NONETHELESS, I FIND IT DIFFICULT HOW SO MANY OF US JUST LIVE OUR LIVES AS IF IT DOES NOT REALLY MATTER. WE JUST DO THE THINGS THAT APPEAR LIFE SERVING & WE KNOW BETTER. WE JUST IGNORE THE LITTLE VOICE THAT SAYS OTHERWISE. THEREFORE, I HAVE DECIDED TO PUT MY FEELINGS OUT THERE ON A FEW ISSUES…HERE ARE JUST 20 OF THEM:

1. If you are happy living a life that is sub-par and empty, ¡DO U!
2. If you are content with dating some man because he has money and buy you material things, ¡DO U!
3. When your rent is due and you decide to spend the money on partying and having a good time, ¡DO U!
4. When you allow the world to make you feel as if you do not matter and you internalize that BULLSHIT, ¡DO U!
5. When you want to LIE, STEAL and KILL because you feel it makes your life easier, ¡DO U!
6. If you want to live like the RAPPERS and MOVIE STARS because you feel as if they have the ideal life, ¡DO U!
7. When your D!CK gets hard and you need to get that release and not use a condom because H. I. V. / A. I. D. S. doesn’t exist, ¡DO U!
8. If someone gives you what seems like LOVE and you accept it, ¡DO U!
9. If you know that, the time we are blessed with is limited and tends to be used up all too quickly, why do you waste it? ¡DO U!
10. I hope you put off living until tomorrow what you are dreaming of today, ¡DO U!
11. When the hectic pace of the modern world gives you an easy way out, I hope you take it, DO U!
12. I hope you never shelve your aspirations in order to cope more effectively with the challenges of the world, ¡DO U!
13. I hope you never have time and leisure to realize your purpose in the future if it gets in the way of the present, ¡DO U!
14. I hope you tell yourself that you will chase your dreams someday while accomplishing lesser goals, ¡DO U!
15. In truth, don’t’ ever believe that it is fear that keeps you from seeking fulfillment in the here and now, ¡DO U!
16. I hope you live believe always believing that failure is your possibility, ¡DO U!
17. Don’t ever ask WHY NOT NOW? This drains you of your power to realize your ambitions, ¡DO U!
18. Do not ever believe that you are deserving of happiness, ¡DO U!
19. You are not empowered to change your life @ this very moment, ¡DO U!
20. Please procrastinate allow the abundance of time to legitimize your lack of self-belief, ¡DO U!

REMEMBER THAT ALL THE JOY, PASSION & CONTENTMENT YOU CAN ENVISION CAN BE YOURS RIGHT NOW, RATHER THAN IS SOME DISTANT FUTURE. TELL YOURSELF THAT THERE IS NOTHING STANDING BETWEEN YOU & FULFILLMENT. I HOPE YOU DECIDE THAT TODAY IS THE DAY TO TAKE DESTINY INTO YOUR HANDS YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT YOU HOLD THE KEYS OF FATE…OR NOT, WHAT DO I KNOW? ¡DO U!

HOMOSEXUALITY: ¿HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

I have sat and thought about this life and I am tryin to decifer when or where the breaking point is; I am trying find out if we need a YARD STICK or RULE OF THUMB to go by as we naviate this world. I asked myself and others if they felt that HOMOSEXUALITY has it’s very own cost. I have asked how does one live in a world that offers no relief? I have asked HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH? Now first of all, I am not talking about the various things others see about HOMOSEXUAL MEN and WOMEN, rather I am referring to the toll that this life places on each one of us. As a community we have a difficulty on agreeing on who we are as MEN and WOMEN who have sex with the same gender. Hence, this is where the problem begins, if we cannot identify ourselves as GAY or SAME-GENDER-LOVING as GOD intended then we have incur the ULTIMATE COST. Whether or not we believe in the notion that suggests that WE WERE BORN GAY; we have denied OUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE. We are doctors, beauticians, lawyers, schoolteachers, accountants, drag queens, pastors etc. So why can’t we transform this energy into every part of our lives? We allow the world force us into a life of indecision and uncertainty. Sadly, this is when HOMOSEXUALITY becomes too much and we just accept because this is what we do. How much will it cost us to rebuild and get OUR COMMUNITY to the place it should be? We have LOST many SOLDIERS in the BATTLE of EQUALITY and no real significant strides have been made about our feelings of disconnection and displacement. We are left with the scraps that life hands out forcing us to slash our wrists and swallow a ton of pills in preparation to leave this planet. There is a constant battle within and it costs us everyday in every way, and yet we do nothing about it while this dehumanizing depression darkens everything. WE WERE BORN AS OUTSIDERS…FEELING LEFT OF THE MIDDLE…SO WHY NOT DARE OURSELVES TO MOVE? WHY DO WE CONTINUE TO SUFFER THE COST? I personally feel that we are hard press for EQUALITY, but I feel that we straddle the fence too long. On one side there's wanting to accpeted and the other wanting to not give a F&CK. This doesn’t make sense because WE are letting OURSELVES down and WE become OUR OWN WORST ENEMY. WE CANNOT BE AFRAID AND WEAK TO GET WHAT WE DESERVE, IT PAINS ME TO THINK THAT WE ARE FIGHTING FOR SOMETHING THAT WE NEVER GAVE AWAY…IT WAS TAKEN FROM US! IF WE DON’T FREE OURSELVES FROM THIS DOOM AND GLOOM MIND-SET WE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO ESTABLISH OUR EXISTENCE ON ORGANIC AND STABLE LAND.

IT'S ABOUT U (MEN)

OH LORD! MEN ARE BEAUTIFUL AND WOMEN HAVE NO PLACE IN THIS SHIT! IT IS ALL ABOUT EROS AND THE PERSONIFICATION OF LOVE IN ALL IT’S MANIFESTATIONS…NEED I SAY MORE?

I WANT A "REAL" MAN!

SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS THE TERM and PREFERENCE IS A CHOICE. I AM A GAY MAN BY ORIENTATION. HENCE, FROM A HOMOSEXUAL PERSPECTIVE I HAVE PONDERED THIS QUESTION: ¿IS THERE A "HETERO" MAN OUT THERE THAT CAN BE IN MY PRESENCE and NOT WORRY ABOUT OWNING MY PREFERENCE? I am a GAY MAN and I do not subscribe to anyone’s THOUGHTS, FEELINGS or IDEAS of who I am and what I am about. Nonetheless, I find it rather sad that society does not allow MEN to co-exist on all levels of humanity. I cannot help but wonder ¿ WHY IS MY SEXUAL PREFERENCE SO IMPORTANT THAT IT MAKES MEN NOT BE MEN AROUND ME? It would be nice if we were ONE SPIRIT, ONE HUMAN…ONE MAN! Nevertheless, society has MEN so caught up trying to whom they think they should be that it leaves OUR WORLD BROKEN and DISCONNECTED. Everyone wants to be A REAL MAN and associating with the likes of me makes them feel otherwise. I wonder if they stop, to realize that if I make them feel that way then it is who they truly are and it has nothing to do with me. I am merely a MIRROR a CATALYST for the thing that they cannot bring themselves to face. I AM AWARE THAT…A REAL MAN is not caught up in labels, he just knows that MY SEX cannot and will not affect him. A REAL MAN would not be sitting up on a HOMOPHOBIC PEDESTAL thinking that if he shun me he is safe from what I represent. A REAL MAN has a spiritual relationship with a higher being, thus he knows that WE ARE ALL CONNECTED. A REAL MAN is honest, trustworthy, sensitive and caring and never trying make himself feel like a MAN by trying to me feel as if I am not one. A REAL MAN knows that if I do not flaunt MY SEXUALITY; that I am not ashamed of it. A REAL MAN takes care of his body and his mind; enabling him to use REASON and SOUND judgment when he is in my presence. A REAL MAN is secure and does not worry if others around him see him showing HIS HUMANITY towards me. A REAL MAN is respectful and pays attention to his my feelings. A REAL MAN IS A MAN WHO IS A MAN AND KNOWS THAT I AM A MAN. ¿ARE THERE ANY REAL MEN OUT THERE?

¿WHAT DO U MISS?

RELATIONSHIP WITH SELF...

The most important relationship we have in our lives is with our selves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives—from birth onward—this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship. Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created and the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves. As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes us another periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need tolerance to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship—the one with our true selves.

SHEDDING LIGHT ON OURSELVES...

In almost every case, we know what is best for us in our lives, from the relationships we create to the food we eat. Still, somewhat mysteriously, it is often difficult to make the right choices for ourselves. We find ourselves hanging out with someone who leaves us feeling drained or choosing to eat fast-food over a salad. We go through phases where we stop doing yoga or taking vitamins, even though we feel so much better when we do. Often we have no idea why we continue to make the less enlightened choice, but it is important that we inquire into ourselves to find out. When we choose that which is not best for us, the truth can be that there is a deep seated part of us that does not want to heal. We may say it’s because we don’t have the time or the energy or the resources, but the real truth is that when we don’t take care of ourselves we are falling prey to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage happens unconsciously, which is why it’s so difficult to see that we are doing it. The important thing to realize is that this very part of us that resists our healing is the part that most needs our attention and love. Even as it appears to be working against us, if we can simply bring it into the light of our consciousness, it can become our greatest ally. It carries the information we need to move to the next level in our healing process. When we recognize that we are not making healthy choices, we might even say out loud, “I am not taking care of myself.” Sometimes this is the jolt we need to wake up to what is actually happening. Next we can sit ourselves down in meditation, with a journal, or with a trusted friend to explore the matter more thoroughly. Just shining the light of our awareness on the source of our resistance is sometimes enough to dispel its power. At other times, further effort is required. Either way, we need not fear these parts that do not want to heal. We only need to take them under our wing and bring them with us into the light.

EVERYDAY HAPPINESS...

Our lives are rich with potential sources of happiness, but sometimes we become victims of negative thinking because we believe that focusing on all that has gone wrong will provide us with the motivation we need to face the challenges of survival. When we choose to focus on what makes us happy, however, a shift occurs in the fabric of our existence. Finding something to be happy about every single day can help this shift take place. The vantage points from which we view the world are brought into balance, and we can see that being alive truly is a gift to be savored. There is always something we can be happy about—it is simply up to us to identify it. On one day, we may find happiness in a momentous, life-changing event such as a marriage or the birth of a child. On another day, the happiness we experience may be a product of our appreciation of a particularly well-brewed cup of a tea or the way the sun shines on a leaf. If we discover that we literally cannot call to mind a single joyful element of existence, we should examine the cause of the blockage standing between us and experiencing happiness. Keeping a happiness journal is a wonderful way to catalog the happiness unfolding all-around us so that joy has myriad opportunities to manifest itself in our lives. Writing about the emotions we experience while contemplating joy may give us insight into the factors compelling us to resist it. Happiness may not always come easily into your life. You have likely been conditioned to believe that the proper response to unmet expectations is one of sadness, anger, guilt, or fear. To make joy a fixture in your existence, you must first accept that it is within your power to choose happiness over unhappiness every single day. Then, each time you discover some new source of happiness, the notion that the world is a happy place will find its way more deeply into your heart. On this day, find one thing to be happy about and let it fill your heart.

DON'T CALL ME A B!TCH

The word B!TCH has long been in use to refer to an individual in contempt; this is seen as the most offensive title that one can place on another, even more provoking than that of a WHORE. This title is used in a negative way, referring to persons we encounter in everyday life that wear a permanent attitude and seek to destroy any and everything in their way. Nonetheless, do I seem like one of those persons that would destroy and make another life’s miserable? How can and do I have so much power to do such things? Moreover, what do you base this theory on? Is it because I call you out on the things that you do wrong against others and myself? On the other hand, is it the way I refuse to allow you treat me like a doormat? No matter, all I know is that I am not tolerant of many things, things that are unnecessary AND senseless.

SO CHOOSE YOUR LABEL CAREFULLY… I am the MAN that will not bang his head against the wall obsessing over your opinion. I totally understand that if someone does not approve of me, it is just one person’s opinion; therefore, it is of no real importance. I will never try to live up to anyone else’s idea of me. Don't HATE on me because I know I cherish who I am and believe that I am worth being treated the way I would like to be treated. I refuse to allow such a label to give truth to the lies you tell yourself. I will not become who you want me to be with your consent.

SO PLEASE SING MY PRAISES, I am not a B!TCH and I  will NEVER be…No matter how happy you are to announce and give me that title, I will NEVER need your shot in the arm, my faith in myself is STRONG and your crown and thrown will not ever satisfy me.

HOMOSEXUAL INTUITIVENESS~OUR SEX IS NATURAL

WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY THAT HAS BECOME VERY ANTI-MALE; ESPECIALLY TO WE HOMOSEXUALLY INCLINE MEN. WE ARE THE BUTT OF JOKES, THE ANTAGONIST, and THE DEMON...THE ONES CAUSES SEX TO LEAVE A BAD TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH! WE KEEP WOMEN AND GIRLS AWAKE AT NIGHT. Nevertheless, no matter, we have our worth for GOD FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE US. We are the KINGS that our ancestors made us…the MEN GOD want us to be. ISN’T IT FUNNY HOW SO MUCH OF OUR HUMAN EXPERIENCE IS REMOVED BECAUSE OF WHAT THE WORLD THINK WE ARE? No matter, we are products of HUMANITY and at the moment of birth, we were perfectly attuned to life. OUR SEXUAL feelings are an authentic response to the persons we encounter. We interact with our environment viscerally, desiring only what is necessary for our survival. Moreover, if we are lucky, we take in nourishment in the form of pure mother’s milk. As life passes by, we discover the sights, sounds, and scents that make us who we are. However, these often momentarily dazzle us, the dim memory of our naturalness remains. We embrace the notion that OUR SEXUALITY is inherently natural, brought to the forefront by our daily lives. We innately understand that our bodies are not meant for VANILLLA SEX and there is no legitimate reason to expose ourselves to such a way of life. This knowledge is reinforced each time we find ourselves energized by sweet, fresh and warm tender connection with another man. We feel the strength of our connection and our bodies are blessed accordingly. We are now free, no longer bound up rhythms that cannot seem to find the right beat. Hence, OUR NATURALNESS will reveal itself to the world WE ARE BEYOND BELIEFS, LIFESTYLE CHOICES AND THE INHUMANE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

5 BREAKUP SIGNS

HOW TO TELL WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET THE BOOT…One day, you are madly in love. You are cuddling on the couch, reading love poems and feeding each other sushi. In addition, that is when it happens: Your partner sits you down for the "It's-Not-You, It's-Me" talk. You are confused and left wondering, "How could I have missed the signs?" Breaking up is never easy. Your ego and heart are bound to be bruised. However, if you could just see the breakup coming, it might make the whole business easier to stomach. While hindsight is 20/20, there are always warning signals along the way.

1. PICKING FIGHTS: No one is saying you have to get along 24/7. Constructive conflict can actually be good for your relationship. However, if you find that your partner has become argumentative over petty issues like your clothes or choice of restaurant that should serve as a warning sign that he/she may be looking for an excuse to bail.

2. FORGETTING TO CALL: Used to be that your phone would ring all day long with your sweetie wanting to make plans or calling just to say, "I love you." Now your significant other does not even call when he/she is running three hours late. It may seem obvious, but going from speed dial to a blocked number is a sure sign that your relationship may be nearing its expiration date.

3. CHANGING THEIR STRIPES: A major change in appearance can be a sign that your partner is looking toward greener pastures. Whether they have chopped off their hair, lost 40 pounds or gone from a bold brunette to a sultry blonde, major cosmetic changes should be noted. Of course, there is nothing wrong with being a little vain, but if the change is accompanied by any of the other signs listed here, you may need to get ready to go solo.

4. CRITICIZING: If your sweetie is not feeling you anymore, do not be surprised if he/she becomes less tolerant of everything, from how you brush your teeth to how you tie your shoes. Constant criticism is a telltale sign that your days as a twosome are numbered.

5. LOSING SEXUAL INTEREST: A healthy sex life can make or break a relationship. If you find that your partner is becoming more sexually aloof, you need to get to the root of the issue. While it is natural to have less sex as you settle into a comfortable groove together, waiting weeks or months to have sexual contact is a sign that something is amiss.

Now that you know the warning signs, do not panic. Just because your partner exhibits, some of the behaviors that do not necessarily mean the relationship is over. In fact, usually a combination of signs and not one isolated incident foreshadows a breakup. If you are worried that your partner is itching to get out, the most important thing you can do is sit down and discuss your issues in an honest and open manner. If you take these signs as your cue to improve communication, your relationship may just have a fighting chance.

¿DISJUCTION FUNCTION?

HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW EMPTY AND HALLOW SOME RELATIONSHIPS ARE? HOW TWO PERSONS NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRY TO GET ALONG CAN’T SEEM TO GET IT TOGETHER? I am of the personal opinion that if a relationship does not enhance those involved then they need not be in it. My philosophy is FRIENSHIP, RELATIONSHIP and PARTNERSHIP. However, most do not try to adopt this principle and thus embark on relationships that does more harm than good. How can you be with someone if you are constantly wondering where they are or what they are doing? Isn’t it obvious that this person is not meant for you? If you get into fights constantly this person is not meant for you. If you cannot seem to have a GENUINE LOVE and RESPECT for each other this person is not meant for you. Oddly enough, there are persons that crave such relationships. They yearn for it, to such an extreme, that they make an unwise choice that leads to sadness, dissatisfaction and broken hearts. Settling is entering into a relationship with a less than desirable mate for the sake of escaping the single life. Nevertheless, why do this? How does this not make you feel empty? This emptiness forces the need to find someone, anyone that is not up to the task of being in a relationship. Hence, the absurd criteria of the relationship are based upon how the person looks how they should think, smell, act, taste and fuck. Is it any wonder that this only inevitably leads down a road of frustration? When one settles for a DISFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP out of the FEAR of being UNLOVED then they are lost from the start. Therefore, I wonder why persons settle for this for themselves. How can they not see what they are doing? I believe that the reason they do this is because we are raised to believe that the ideal life is one in which we fall in love, marry and then usually have children. Creating our own family and growing old with our soul mate is instilled in our minds from a very young age. As we enter our late teenage years and early twenties, we are usually weaving our way through relationships, trying to decipher what type of person best fits our needs to sustain a healthy and loving relationship. If a person does not find a truly compatible mate, one that fulfills their emotional and physical needs, provides love, understanding, concern and support through life's difficulties, it is at this time that one may opt to settle. A person may not even realize that they are indeed settling. Fed up with breakups and longing for a stable relationship, a person may settle for a less than compatible relationship. In the beginning of the relationship, this person will feel a temporary relief from the difficulties of being single. They will ignore red flag warnings, and dismiss any subconscious doubts, this person will remain in the relationship until it falls apart. The relationship may be stormy, because of a false connection, or it may be a rather peaceful relationship but lacking the strong and powerful love, that one deserves. Settling may bring temporary happiness, however the key word is temporary. When a person is in a relationship that is not the ideal one for them, they are choosing to close off the option of finding true love. This is not fair to either person in the relationship. We all desire love. We all desire for someone to care for us above all else. We all desire the feeling of being safe and secure in the arms of another. Setting does not produce those results. If realizing that you are settling, ask yourself this: Do you wish to spend your time in a relationship that is doomed or will bring you limited satisfaction? If entering into one relationship after another with people that you know do not possess the qualities that you are ultimately seeking, do you wish to continue doing so, knowing it will lead to disappointment when the relationship ends? We all possess the capability to set reasonable expectations in a future mate. Looking into our hearts, we know what type of person will fulfill our needs. Remaining single and waiting to meet someone that will provide you with a truly loving relationship is wise. You should be pleased that you are abiding to your standards. Falsely believing that continuing to remain single is such a dreadful choice, and settling is the option you choose, you will be losing the prospect of truly enjoying your life bonded with someone you undoubtedly love. How can you give your HEART, SOUL and MIND to an individual that does not complete you? How can you look for someone to make you happy if you cannot do it yourself? Doesn’t fulfillment come from enlightenment, which comes from inspiration? Therefore, we have to inspire ourselves and enlighten ourselves so that we maybe fulfill. Until we reach self-completion and fulfillment, we cannot get rid of our emptiness. Until we get rid of our emptiness, our relationships will not be successful.

ROLE CALL

TELL ME WHAT IS IN A NAME AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU. I find interesting how the words HOMOSEXUAL, GAY, QUEER…brings such a consciousness to us that whenever it is uttered or called out, we answer whether we intend to or not. It last only for a second but in that, second OUR SEXUAL IDENTITY is our own. Nonetheless, we allow these words to bring US PAIN, FEAR, SADNESS, ANDER and DEPRESSION. Why does OUR NAME make us feel INFERIOR and INSIGNIFICANT? So by feeling this way aren’t we not acknowledging who we are and what we stand for? Aren’t we just trapped and made by the world everyday? When they single US out and it makes US feel uneasy we have a shadow that follows wherever we go. We are now too weak to win this war between good and evil and this is crazy because we are fighting forces and elements that were here long before our time. The fact that WE were born, is proof that God has a plan for US. When they call OUR name, do not feel uneasy or scared OWN IT! Let your heart smile and rejoice that they know who you are, the rewards will come. I know that the path may seem unclear right now, but one day you will see that all that came before was truly meant to be. GOD wrote OUR NAME in the book that is OUR LIFE and each day that you WE are living is proof of this fact. I WANT US TO BE PROUD OF WHO WE ARE, OUR PLACE IN THIS WORLD IS IMPORTANT.

LIFE COMPELS MY CREATIONS...

My inspirations are intangible yet inseparable part of my creative process. All of my creations are related to the muse that inspires me and LIFE is muse. The ancient Greeks believed that goddesses, who served as the literal embodiment of inspiration, whether artistic or scientific in nature, motivated all creation. These were the Muses—the givers of the creative spark. I rely heavily on my muse to drive the creative process as it takes on many diverse forms and shapes. The people I meet, intriguing ideas, movies, books, nature and cultural ideals all have the potential to awaken my imaginative minds. When my muse touches me, I understand that I am capable of producing MY OWN UNIQUE KIND OF GREATNESS. Many people move through life unaware of the presence of their muse. This lack of awareness can be compounded by the fact that we may have one muse that remains with us throughout our lives, multiple muses that inspire us concurrently, several muses that come and go as necessary, or a single muse that touches us briefly at specific moments. You will know that you have found your muse when you encounter a force that makes you feel courageous enough to broaden the range of your creativity. The presence of this force will erase your self-doubt and motivate you to give your thoughts and feelings form. Should your muse continue to elude you, however, there are steps you can take to increase your chances of falling under its inspired influence. If you surround yourself with people who support you, keep a pen and paper handy, immerse yourself in culture, and brainstorm frequently, you will soon reconnect with your muse. Once you have identified your muse, embrace it by giving yourself over to the creative inspiration it provides. No matter what you are moved to create, you will find that neither fear nor criticism can penetrate the wonderful bliss that goes hand in hand with the act of taking an idea and turning it into something the whole world can enjoy.

AS THE DAY U WERE BORN (AS NAKED)

For most of us, it is probably difficult to remember the last time we werecomfortably naked for a period of time longer than 20 minutes or so. Many of usare only naked for the length of time it takes us to shower or bathe. We quicklydry off and put our clothes or pajamas on, without taking even a moment to enjoythe feeling of the air against our bare skin. Most of us learned that this wasthe way to do things from a young age, and we may not have been exposed toanother way of thinking, but many cultures regard nudity as completelyacceptable, even in somewhat public settings. If you have ever had the goodfortune to assimilate yourself to this way of doing things, you may have foundthe experience liberating enough to allow it to influence the rest of your life. Perhaps you swam topless in Tahiti or took a sauna in Sweden or Finland. In manyAmerican cities, you can find the experience of unselfconscious nudity in aRussian or Korean spa. You may have noticed the lack of vanity in people who arecomfortable with their naked bodies. Old ladies and young girls sit side byside, seemingly without concern for how they appear. We see that it is notnecessary to hide our imperfections; from cellulite to wrinkles, all is acceptedwith equilibrium. We can see the beauty and naturalness of our different bodies,accepting ourselves as just right, just as we are. Being naked in front ofchildren can be discussed with your spouse and a plan developed for your family. Children have their way of letting you know when they are ready for aclothes-only family. If this sounds appealing, you might try carving out some time in your day inwhich you let yourself be naked. You could delay dressing for 10 minutes afteryour shower, gradually increasing the time to 20 minutes or half an hour. Youmight also want to try sleeping naked, a sensual delight that is especiallywonderful in hot summer months. If you have a private garden, a naked sunbathmight be just the thing. Whatever your choice, finding time to be as naked asthe day you were born can awaken feelings of contentment, freedom, andself-love.

ALL NEED NOT APPLY!

Often when the outside looks in on us they find what seem like confusion and mystification and they feel compel to transform OUR situation. One reason they are unable to bring RESOLUTION to OUR WORLD is that they have nothing to offer because they come with a CLOSED HEART. HENCE, HOMOSEXUALITY STARTS IN OUR OWN MINDS AND HEARTS, NOT OUTSIDE OF OURSELVES; AND UNTIL ITS ROOTS ARE FIRMLY ENTRENCHED WITHIN SOCIETY, WE CANNOT MANIFEST IT EXTERNALLY. Once we have found it within, we can share it with our family, our community, and the world at large. However, until such time, WE NEED ALL NON-APPLICABLE TO LEAVE WELL ALONE. I have found that no matter what WE say, no matter what WE do society has a major problem with SEXUALITY and thus they make it known that they are no way shape or form interested in SGLP especially on a SEXUAL level. Interestingly, persons that manifest this external behavior are no different from us because internally we have no interest most if not all of them. We do not lend OUR ENERGY to them, so their thoughts and feelings can simply rise and fall like the waves of the ocean without disturbing the deeper waters of ACCEPTANCE within. WHEN THEY LOOK INSIDE, THEY SEE TRUTH AND THE LIGHT IS BLINDINGLY INESCAPABLE. Contrary to popular belief, WE SGL MEN and WOMEN do not have design, desires for everyone that we come across, or see because by THEIR CONFESSIONS, we know that they want us. WE are not checking you out when you are not looking. WE are not following you in the bathroom to get a peep at you. WE ARE NOT TRYING TO TURN YOU GAY! Our powers of persuasions have worked the moment you decided to show that you are not one of us. So thanks but no thanks we do not want you and GOD help the person that does. I wonder why you care so much that we know that you do not care for us. Why should we acknowledge you and give meaning to your denial of YOURSELF and US? I AM GLAD THAT WE GO AGAINST THE NORM OF SOCIETY AND I AM OVER-JOYED THAT THEY ARE INTRIGUED BY US. Isn’t it funny how they are not contagious but they feel that we are? Hence they consciously let it be known that they are off limits and unavailable to us; firmly displaying that WE make THEM question THEIR SEXUALITY and HETEROSEXUAL REATLIONSHIPS ESPECIALLY WITH OTHER MEN. Even though this world is crazy and mysterious they seem to forget that, none of us are born with a guidebook that provides explicit rules for thought and behavior that will enable us to navigate life. How is that we are the ones that have to cope with the myriad of complexities none of which any other humans are subjected to? Most of us know, whether instinctively or by experience that this LIFE is hard and can be uncomfortable, but we always learn that no matter what the challenge we have to find a way to carry on. We understand that any discomfort we experience when expanding our energy diminishes gradually as we become accustomed to change and begin to understand that temporary discomfort is a small price to pay for the evolution of the soul. Our current comfort zone did, at one time, serve a purpose in your life. However, it is representative of behaviors and patterns of thought that empowered us to cope with challenges of days past. Now, this comfort zone does little to facilitate the growth we wish to achieve in the present. We have to work our way outward at our pace and try not to let the discomfort interfere with our resolve. With the passage of each well-earned triumph, we will have grown and our comfort zone will have expanded to accommodate this evolution. WE ARE ALL ABOUT REDIFING OUR PURPOSE AND TAKING POSITIVE LEAPS OF FAITH IN ORDER TO MOVE OUR WORLD FORWARD.

¿DON'T ASK? ~ ¿DON'T TELL?

The phrase SEXUAL RESPONSIBILITY means a variety of things to different people. For some, it means abstinence; for others it means having a monogamous partner and consistent condom usage. But, there are a lot of persons out there that ignore both and continue to have UNPROTECTED SEX with clueless persons that are either to EMBARRASSED or HORNY to ask about their status. WE NEED TO BREAK THIS AWFUL KARMA AND BEGIN TO EXERCISE MORE CARE AND ATTENTION TO OUR SEXUAL ACTIVITY; LIFE IS FLEETING FOR US GAY PEOPLE AND WE ARE GOING TO LOOSE OURSELVES TO THIS DISEASE. There are GAY MEN dying around us far too frequently and this is proof that from the moment HIV~AIDS hit us we have taken this disease on for humanity and into our consciousness through guilt. This is exactly what the HATERS and RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS have cast on US as PUNISHMENT for OUR GAYNESS to deflect the real enemy and breeding destruction in OUR COMMUNITY. The fact remains that HIV is still a leading cause of death for in OUR COMMUNITY and the sooner we acknowledge that the better. GAY MEN are engaging in unsafe anal sex at an alarming rate. BLKGAYCHAT, ADAM4ADAM and ADAM4SEX are flooded with men requesting the next HOOK UP and not the disclosure of HIV STATUS that is more important than the fleeting sexual moment that will be over with in a few minutes. HOW CAN WE CONTINUE LIVING THIS LIFE AND CARRY THIS ATTITUDE THAT I DON’T NEED TO KNOW AND HE WON’T TELL ME? These GAY MEN participate in ORGIES and other UNSAFE activity; anyone should know or realize that when the SEXUAL ENERGY is that high, the inhibitions and common sense have long left. BUT WHY TAKE THE RISK? There is no cure for HIV or AIDS and the meds only prolong the development of the virus into full blown AIDS. Hence we get to see how UNEDUCATED the COMMUNITY is when it comes to this crisis. When are going to understand that with SEX comes the responsibility to protect yourself and others? When are WE going to discuss another’s SEXUAL HISTORY and HIV status before sex? When are WE going to understand that SAFE SEX SHOULD still be practiced even after a discussion? I wish that we could stop adopting this fearless mentality and not F&CK in the moment. WE need not accept the risk of simply not asking someone what their status is. I know that SEX without a CONDOM will increase pleasure or seem more spontaneous, but the risks far outweigh any moment of ecstasy. A moment of pleasure can lead to a lifetime of illness and given the rate of that situation why take that chance? WE need to find OUR LOVE for SELF and not follow the direction of some MAN that is more confident sex when it comes to sex because he looks ok doesn’t mean that he is. Don’t fall for the lines and bullshit, let him know IF HIS D!CK CAN’T GET UP THEN HE CAN’T PENETRATE YOU! Don’t let him JUST PUT THE HEAD IN this is just for pleasure and not protection. Don't let a SEX BULLY dictate your future health. We in this COMMUNITY need to start SERO-SORTING; this is the practice of choosing sexual partners based on their HIV status. In other words, SORT POTENTIAL PARTNERS according to whether they are HIV positive or HIV negative. Even though this cannot eliminate the spread of HIV~AIDS this can curb the advancement of the amount of persons being infected. WE NEED TO START OUTTING PERSONS THAT ARE SICK IN ORDER TO GET A HANDLE ON THIS DISEASE, WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT WE ARE SAFE GUARDING AND PROTECTING ALL IN THIS COMMUNITY; HIV NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE PERSONS ALIKE.

SPERM: THE NEW CRACK!

Studies are finding that women who do not use condoms during sex are less depressed and less likely to attempt suicide than are women who have sex with condoms and women who are not sexually active, leads one researcher to conclude that semen contains powerful—and potentially addictive—mood-altering chemicals. Study author Gordon G. Gallup, Ph.D., a psychologist at the State University of New York in Albany, also found that women who routinely had intercourse without condoms became increasingly depressed as more time elapsed since their last sexual encounter. There was no such correlation for women whose partners regularly used condoms. Gallup's survey of 293 college women also found that those who did not use condoms were most likely to initiate sex and to seek out new partners as soon as a relationship ended. "These women are more vulnerable to the rebound effect, which suggests that there is a chemical dependency," says Gallup. Semen contains hormones including testosterone, estrogen, prolactin, luteinizing hormone and prostaglandins, and some of these are absorbed through the walls of the vagina and are known to elevate mood. Gallup controlled for variables including method of contraception, frequency of sexual intercourse, as well as the women's perception of their relationship. He concedes that women who regularly have sex without condoms might share personality traits that make them less susceptible to depression. Nevertheless, the behavior most often associated with non-condom users is sexual risk-taking, and studies have found no correlation between high-risk sexual behavior and lower rates of depression. Gallup's study, which he deems "the first serious attempt to investigate the effect of semen chemistry on women," titillated the public and rankled some academics upon publication in Archives of Sexual Behavior. Gallup says he has since replicated the findings with a sample of 700 women and will examine whether "semen withdrawal" places women at an increased risk for depression when they are premenstrual, menopausal or have just given birth, as many women abstain from sex during these periods.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE BAHAMAS

Message from Prime Minister, the Rt. Hon. Hubert A. Ingraham on The Bahamas' 34th Anniversary of Independence:

Fellow citizens of the Commonwealth of The Bahamas: It is with great pleasure that I extend best wishes to all Bahamians on this the 34th anniversary of our existence as a sovereign and independent state in the community of nations. Each anniversary of Independence provides us with the opportunity to reflect on how far we have come in realizing our potential as a people and as a country. We face a multitude of challenges at home and in the world. We are fortunate, however that we are more equipped than many other developing countries to meet these challenges. We have a healthy democracy with institutions that have their origins centuries before we attained independence. We sometimes forget how fortunate we are in this respect, but we have only to look at those countries which are today struggling to establish these foundational institutions without which there can be no stability. We are a diverse society free from the sectarian strife which threatens to pull some other countries apart. We have unchallenged racial equality and religious harmony. Yes, we have our political differences, but these can be healthy once we do not carry them too far and once we realize that we differ only in the interest of the nation. The common bond that unites us all is the love of our country. This year, in commemorating our Independence we pay special homage to a number of our forbears who helped pave the way for the advancement of the Bahamian people by their contributions in education, in the legal profession, in journalism and in trade unionism. It is our hope that in remembering our forbears and in recalling their achievements in the face of tremendous obstacles we will be inspired to excellence in all our endeavours. This is especially appropriate this year as we also observe the 200th anniversary of the Abolition of the Atlantic Slave Trade, a first step as it was in the evolution of our societies in this region into more just and democratic countries. In this vein, The Bahamas has much of which to be proud. For 34 years we have demonstrated a firm commitment to our democracy and to the advancement of our people both economically and socially. We have been a responsible member of the international community through our participation in regional, hemispheric and global organizations and by the cordial relations we maintain with our neighbours. We are a talented people and I believe that once we put our talents to good use, as many of our forbears did so brilliantly, we can create an even brighter future for those who will come after us. I invite all Bahamians to join in these 34th Independence celebrations in a great spirit of national unity. I also invite those who are residents or visitors to join in our celebrations. I wish you all a happy and safe Independence Day and pray God’s blessing upon the nation and upon each and every one of us.