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Tuesday, September 6, 2011









Who else is hoping the Marnie story line wraps itself up
in next week's season finale? Fiona Shaw has been wonderful on the show
(awkward high-five!), but after this episode, my patience has grown as thin as
Jessica's ("I’m so sick of silverin’ myself all day every day, being
pissed off all the time. This is what PMS used to feel like"). And Pam's
("Can we blow up these Wiccan dips---s already? I got a mani-pedi at

Let's begin with the Battle of Moon Goddess Emporium.
After Marnie stabbed Casey, one of her innocent captives, in the chest with a
knife, Antonia wanted to severe ties with her. Cue Lafayette's brilliant line,
"Oh s---. Marnie just puked a bitch out," which I predict is already
on a T-shirt somewhere. Lafayette was the only one who could see the argument,
which ended with Marnie doing a binding spell to suck Antonia back into her.
I'd like to think that look of indigestion Marnie had was Antonia working some
kind of spell, like a stink bomb.

As Bill, Eric, Jessica, and Pam were about to mount their
assault, Jason ran up and told them to stop. Sookie was inside. Jason reminded
Eric that Sookie had taken him into Eric's  her home and Bill that
she'd save his life so many times and had been his personal soda fountain. Bill
said they'd find another way. Eric agreed. Pam was pissed: "Holy s---,
gentlemen. Do not tell me you’d put our entire species at risk for a gash in a
sundress." It's a good thing Jason stopped them though and warned them
about the protective shield. Is it really smart for vampires to be firing
rocket launchers at something that sends fire back at them? (Is it, Pam?)
Before Bill and Eric could think of Plan B, the two Louisiana sheriffs Marnie
controlled pounced on them.

Meanwhile inside, Jesus pretended Casey still had a pulse
and asked Marnie, who didn't want to look like a cold-blooded murderer in front
of her captives, if he could try to save her. She said yes, and didn't mind
when he and Lafayette carried Casey's dead body to the bathroom, or when Jesus
gathered ingredients from the store (along with Marnie's scarf) to do a spell
that would force Antonia out of Marnie's body. Holly and Sookie took the
opportunity to try to bond with Marnie and tell her they're all on her side.
Sookie understands what it's like to be an outsider who finally feels some
respect. Marnie had all the power now, and she could end this standoff.

When we next saw Bill and Eric, the male sheriff Marnie
controlled was a pile of blood, and the female was on the ground with Eric's
foot on her throat and Bill snarling at her (I laughed at that). Pam had my
favorite line of the episode: "Wait. Vintage Cartier. I’ll take good care
of this," she said, removing the woman's necklace. "It’s
alright. Go ahead." Bill had hoped there was a way to save her, but
once she started talking, Bill was over dealing with Marnie's minion. He yelled
for Marnie to stop hiding behind the magic -- she wasn't a coward. She agreed.
She took Sookie outside with her to negotiate -- after she put on her badass
leather jacket. Marnie commanded the sheriff to attack Bill again, and he threw
her into the protective shield. Turns out, it's the power of the sun harnessed,
which means vampires cannot penetrate it and die pretty much on contact. Bill
asked for Sookie to be set free, and Eric joined in demanding it. Marnie said
she'd need something in return -- for both Bill and Eric to kill themselves.
Bill agreed. Then Eric. "Good one," Pam laughed. "Don’t laugh
too much. You wouldn’t want your lips to fall off," Marnie said.

Sookie begged Marnie to make them a real offer. But Bill
accepted Marnie's deal -- his life for Sookie's. So did Eric. Bill said he’d
shoot Eric, and Pam would shoot him. Eric knelt and both he and Bill looked at
a sobbing Sookie. Pam wasn't willing to let them die for her. She got the
rocket launcher and fired, even though Eric forbade her. She later told him she
knew Sookie would be fine because of the shield. Do you believe her? She was
just trying to distract Bill and Eric from their suicide mission? Again, the
backdraft could've been dangerous for flammable vampires, but perhaps Pam knew
the visual effects would kinda suck and the only person that semi-pathetic
explosion could put in real danger was Jason, who was burnt and blinded until
Jessica fed him her blood.

Two thoughts about that scene: I know everyone will point
out that Bill was the first one to accept Marnie's offer to kill himself to
save Sookie. Whether or not that means he loves Sookie more isn't the point:
Eric loves her enough to die for her. Also, I wish there'd been a way for us to
tell who Sookie was looking at during each moment. I think that would have been
revealing, but the close-ups made it difficult to follow her eyes. Was the cut
to Eric to show her looking at him, or him looking at her?

Marnie went inside and used the pile of Casey's blood to
see the present (the vampires regrouping), and more importantly, the future,
which included her death. She said the vampires would kill them all and asked
the captives to form a circle. Reluctantly, they did, including Sookie. The
spell Marnie did forced Bill, Eric, Jessica, and Pam toward the protective
shield, which unavoidably looked a little ridiculous and reminded me of Steve Martin in All of Me when Lily Tomlin's soul first takes over his
body. So I was glad we cut back-and-forth to Marnie. "What the f---,
folks," Jason said, not grasping that it was a spell pulling the vampires
to their deaths. Jessica and Bill reached for him, and Jason tried his best to
slow them. In the end, Sookie heard his thoughts telling her to stop the spell,
which she did with bolts of light from her hands that knocked the circle to the
ground. That's when Pam tried to apologize to Eric, and he told her to get out
of his sight before he killed her. She vamp-speeded away. I'm choosing to
believe Eric also wanted her out of there because she was safer away from the
fight. He'd begged his maker, Godric, not to kill himself, can he really blame
Pam? Granted, Eric let Godric go, but they'd had time to talk. Eric made the
decision without addressing her pain.

Marnie didn't buy that the zap from Sookie was
accidental. She pinned the others to the wall and engulfed Sookie in a ring of
fire. In the bathroom, Jesus had put Casey's blood on his chest and tasted it
(ewww), cut his forearm repeatedly with the knife that had been in Casey,
made Lafayette cover the markings with the concoction he'd mixed up, and bound
his wrists with Marnie's scarf. After some chanting, he was appropriately
fierce and snarling. Lafayette peeked out the door and saw Sookie. "Baby,
I need you to f---in' fast-forward this. Sookie is out there about to burn
up." Jesus chanted more and looked scared, I assume of the dark magic that
was consuming him. The flames continued to build around Sookie, who screamed
for help. Again, this show should just not do flames. Marnie looked pleased
with herself, and Bill and Eric could sense Sookie's fear. I'm pretty sure
Jason should have been able to hear it, since she was still SCREAMING. I love
to watch protective Eric pace. It's almost as sexy as his groan. He knew they
needed to get inside to save Sookie.

Jesus' spell worked, and Antonia separated from Marnie.
Antonia's relieved spirit, holding her hands as in prayer, disappeared. She
could've stuck around and helped, but okay. Jesus' head turned into that scary
demon-looking thing and he breathed fire. The scarf caught on fire and his arms
burned. Marnie cried, and all her spells were broken, including the protective shield.
Bill and Eric could feel that Sookie was safe and Antonia was gone. They darted
inside, and Bill was ready to fire on all the witches. Sookie told him they
were held captive by Marnie. Just Marnie would die then. Marnie's minion Roy
said they'd have to go through him to get to her, and Eric ripped his heart
out. That makeup is where all the money went for this episode!

The elasticity of the heart when Roy fell backwards was
awesome. Eric walked up to Marnie holding the heart, removed some sticky matter,
and drank blood straight out of an artery like he was sucking on a straw in a
Capri Sun. His eyes never left hers. It was one of those badass moments that
was so cool, in no wayshould Sookie hold it against him. We've got our
Viking back! He turned and walked back toward Bill, tossing the heart over his
shoulder like it was nothing. I roared. I'd put that right up there with "Is there blood in my hair?" in season 2. Bill
looked at Eric, who stood beside his king licking his bloody fingers, and Bill
raised his gun, doing some more snarling. "No one lives forever! Not even
you!" Marnie said as he shot numerous holes in her. She fell to the floor
with a bullet in her forehead, just as she'd seen in the blood. Bill nodded to
Eric. Eric looked at Sookie.

Eric glamoured the witches (not in our core cast), as
Bill requested. The two of them were deep in conversation but each stole a look
at Sookie. What do you think she was thinking? My guess: Yes, they each
just murdered someone in front of me, but how do I not love two men willing to
die for me? And damn, I'm glad Eric is back in all black. Jessica didn't have
to guess what Jason was thinking, he told her: "Even without your blood in
me, you are all I think about. What the hell am I supposed to do now?" My
guess there: Have sex again next week and get busted by Hoyt. At home, in
Lafayette's leopard print bedding, Lafayette tried to tell Jesus he should
focus on the lives he saved that night, not on the life (Marnie's) he helped
take. It was over, and they were safe. Except it's not, and they aren't. Spirit
Marnie was floating above Lafayette and rushed into his body. BOO. But also,
how did Jesus and Lafayette not see that coming?

Moving on to the B story line: Sam and Alcide tried to
beat Marcus’ whereabouts out of that pack member they had cornered. Luna ran in
threatening him, too. Emma was missing. Cut to Marcus and Debbie on her
and Alcide's bed talking. He wanted her to run off with him and Emma and be her
real mother -- a were, not a shifter. No matter how much Alcide loves Debbie,
he said, she’ll never feel whole without a child, which he won’t give her.
That's why she can't kick V, he said. Eventually, Emma called her mom's cell from
Alcide's home phone. (I'd have thought Marcus was smarter than that.) Luna took
Emma outside while Alcide and Sam found Debbie and Marcus in the bedroom.
Debbie claimed nothing happened, but who cares? Sam agreed to put down the
gun because he wanted to kill Marcus with his bare hands and have a fair fight
-- something Marcus knows nothing about. Sam and Marcus tossed each other
around the room, and Sam's stunt double's hair color was way too light. It's a
pity that bad effects and dye jobs can cheapen what is otherwise a top-notch

Sam, being the man that he is, decided to let Marcus live
with being the man that he isn't. Marcus got the gun and started firing shots
as Alcide tackled him and broke his neck. Yes, I imagine the weight of Joe
Manganiello could do that to a guy. Let's face it, Marcus was never going to
leave Sam alone, so he had to die, and Alcide was totally justified in killing
him. Not right: Debbie asking Alcide, "What did you do?" Maybe she
meant it as, "Oh crap, the pack is going to come after us now," but
it came out like Alcide was the bad guy here and he should have let innocent
Sam die. Alcide gave Debbie the final kiss-off, which I hope was some kind of
ritualistic speech werewolves has to recite to end relationships, otherwise,
that dialogue did not sound like Alcide at all. When Sam left the house, Emma
ran to him and asked where her dad was. Sam didn't answer; he just shot Luna a
look like he didn't make it. What will the consequences be?

Last but not least, we get to Andy. He was walking home
through the woods talking to himself when a fairy who called herself Maurella
materialized. She knocked him out with her light because she smelled V on him
and thought he was a vampire. When he came to, she made him swear to the light
that he'd protect her before they made love. Allow me to quote my notes:
"Nice to see Andy get some, but WHAT THE F---?" Is this Alan Ball
setting us up for season 5 being all about the fairies? Why is one boning Andy?

When Andy got home, he told Arlene all about this
encounter, though he didn't know, of course, that he'd been with a fairy. He
thought it was just a woman whose finger lit up like a light stick you get at a
circus. He said he was a little rusty at sex at first, but good in the
end, and she went back into a ball of light and vanished when it was over.
Arlene said it's some kind of V hallucination and told him his loving family,
good job, and potential relationship with Holly is more real than any angel in the
woods. That's the sweetest we've ever seen Arlene be. So I feel bad for being
so crass: Why is a fairy boning Andy?! Could it be some plan to get Andy to
kill Sookie if she attacks Maurella? (Surely Maurella would know that Andy is
no match for a vampire.) Could some fairies have fractioned off and want to
breed with humans to increase their numbers?

Your turn. What did you think of the episode? What's your
prediction for next week's finale? Does Jesus make it to season 5? What will be
the fallout for Pam disobeying Eric? Will she make nice helping Sookie save him
from burning at the stake? (Or will Pam make Sookie promise to stay away from
Eric in exchange for helping her save him?) And how great is it that Eric and
Bill have to be shirtless so they can be thoroughly silvered when Marniette
(Marnie in Lafayette) tries to fry them?



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