I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Monday, September 5, 2011


"Moves Like Jagger" is a song by American band Maroon 5 featuring American pop singer Christina
. It was released for digital download on
June 21, 2011 in conjunction with a live performance of the song on The Voice the same day. "Moves Like Jagger"
was written by Adam LevineBenjamin Levin,
Ammar Malik andShellback,
and was produced by Shellback and Benny Blanco.[2] It
was later included on a re-release of the band's third studio album, Hands All Over (2011).
The song's lyrics refer to a male protagonist's ability to impress a female
with his dance moves, of which he compares to those of Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger.
"Moves Like Jagger" debuted at number eight on the Billboard Hot 100, therefore making it the band's first top-ten
single since "Makes Me Wonder"
(2007), and Aguilera's first top-ten since "Keeps Gettin'
" (2008). The song was a number-one single on the United StatesCanadian and New Zealand charts
and was also a top-ten hit in most countries that it charted. The song also
marks the first time two former Best New Artist Grammy Award winners
have collaborated on a Hot 100 hit. A music video directed by Jonas Akerlund was
released on August 8th.
The video not only features Christina Aguilera, but it also features some old
video footage of Mick Jagger himself
and his iconic moves. The single has so far peaked at number 1 in the US and
number 3 in the UK. This is Aguilera's first number one on the Billboard
Hot 100
 in ten years, the last was "Lady Marmalade"
(with PinkLil' Kim & MΓ½a


[Verse 1]
Just shoot for the stars
If it feels right
Then aim for my heart
If you feel like
And take me away, make it okay
I swear I'll behave

You wanted control
So we waited
I put on a show
Now I make it
You say I'm a kid
My ego is big
I don't give a sh*t
And it goes like this

Take me by the tongue
And I'll know you
Kiss me till you're drunk
And I'll show you

You want the moves like jagger
I've got the moves like jagger
I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

I don't need try to control you
Look into my eyes and I'll own you

With them the moves like jagger
I've got the moves like jagger
I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

[Verse 2]
Maybe it's hard
When you feel like you're broken and scarred
Nothing feels right
But when you're with me
I make you believe
That I've got the key

So get in the car
We can ride it
Wherever you want
Get inside it
And you want to steer
But I'm shifting gears
I'll take it from here
And it goes like this

Take me by the tongue
And I'll know you
Kiss me till you're drunk
And I'll show you

You want the moves like jagger
I've got the moves like jagger
I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

I don't need try to control you
Look into my eyes and I'll own you

With them the moves like jagger
I've got the moves like jagger
I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

You wanna know how to make me smile
Take control, own me just for the night
And if I share my secret
You're gonna have to keep it
Nobody else can see this

So watch and learn
I won't show you twice
Head to toe, ooh baby, roll me right
And if I share my secret
You're gonna have to keep it
Nobody else can see this

And it goes like this

Take me by the tongue
And I'll know you
Kiss me till you're drunk
And I'll show you

You want the moves like jagger
I've got the moves like jagger
I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

I don't need try to control you
Look into my eyes and I'll own you

With them the moves like jagger
I've got the moves like jagger
I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

Maroon 5's Moves Like Jagger Lyrics found on DIRECT LYRICS 


Tough luck for those of you
who were eagerly anticipating Eric's return to sexy leather-clad Viking form.
Tonight's True Blood gave us a respite from the tiring
Eric/Sookie puppy love talk, as we learned that Marnie's role in Antonia's war
is bigger than we'd ever thought. Before we dig in, you might notice
that I am not supernatural sexpert Mandi Bierly— last we heard, she
was kayaking her way to the Hoboken branch of Moon Goddess Emporium in the wake
of Hurricane Irene. I hope you'll enjoy this emergency guest recap, even though
I just so happen to be Team Alcide. Try to think of it as an Antonia/Marnie
type of thing.

So it turns out all of
those fancy corporate sponsorships and bottles of AB negative Nan scored
for the Festival of Tolerance were for naught. The whole 'human guards with
spilling entrails' gag sent the crowd into a panic, with humans, vampires, and
witches alike caught in the bloody crossfire. Sookie ran through the crowd to
stop a Mantonia-controlled Eric from snapping Bill's neck while Nan kicked ass,
took a few names, and staked a bewitched vampire with a pencil.

When Bill found himself facing the true death via
Eric's giant wooden stake, Sookie used her fairy power to save him, and
her signature light-move also happened to restore multiple centuries of
sexy viking vampire memories in Bill's intended assassin. Sookie showers
included! So Sookie stared at Eric with a trepidatious "what the Hell
do we do now?" look on her face, while Antonia (appearing in true
form) surveyed her carnage and decided that the whole tragic, orphan-making war
thing may not be for her and teleported out with her wiccan friends.

Nan and Bill discussed the
damage when they were safely back at the king's lair, and while Nan was
mostly concerned with the PR disaster she had on her hands, Bill decided that
enough was enough and it was time to kill Mantonia, whatever it may take. Bill
has lost so much since he decided to live life under Nan's politically correct
thumb, (the look on his face when Sookie returned Eric's memories at
the Festival said it all) and now it was finally time to act in his
own best interest again. It's too bad he couldn't have been in the room with
Sookie and Eric when she told him she couldn't bear a world without Bill in it,
and probably only loved Eric because of the intoxicating effects of his vampire
blood. Eric still loved Sookie after Mantonia's spell had worn off, but Sookie
was confused after last week's vivid vampire threesome dream. While it was
interesting to see Sookie admit her feelings for both vampires to
Eric, their first scene together post-memory gain was a confusing
disappointment. The Eric we all fell in love with during the first three
seasons of this show was a cocky, merciless Viking with a fondness for leather
attire and witty comebacks, but this seemingly restored Eric more closely
resembled the lovesick teenager we've been witnessing as of late. That
Eric was great comedy fodder for a few episodes, but I want my Viking back and
clearly Pam does too, judging from the disdainful look she threw Sookie when
vampire and maker were finally re-united. Pam is the voice of reason on
the show.

Sookie, Eric, Pam, Bill, and
Nan gathered in Bill's fabulously re-done foyer to discuss their next move,
which was to blow up Moon Goddess Emporium and all of its
unlucky inhabitants. This included Tara, and Sookie instantly began
to re-think her feelings for both of her vampire beaus when they agreed to
accept the collateral damage and light it up anyway.

While King
Bill plotted their forthcoming demise, the good wiccans at the  hurricane
Irene refugee center Moon Goddess Emporium plotted their escape
in Mantonia's absence. The always beleagured Tara seemed to
be ready to throw in the towel, but Holly hit just the right sweet spot
when she convinced her to channel her inner pissed off powerful female to hit
the spellbooks and fight. "We are strong, angry women,
Tara," she said. That is definitely the way to convince Tara Thorton to
fight. Good job, Holly!

Just then,
Antonia/Marnie showed up with her entourage of Wiccans and enchanted vampires
alike. Mantonia was clearly disturbed by the Festival's events, and she
started doing this creepy Gollum thing where the two separate but connected
beings inside of her started arguing with each other for control. Until now it
had always seemed that Antonia was 100 percent in charge, so the whole
spectacle served as tonight's biggest eye-opener. Marnie might not be the
harmless, passive old witch we thought we were dealing with.

When Tara
and Holly snuck away from the group to debate the necessity of the Latin
language in modern spellcasting, they decided to beat Mantonia at her own game
by reversing her hand-burning, Moon Goddess Emporium protection spell. Mantonia
did some sneaking off of her own— she left her entranced subjects behind
when Antonia forcibly removed herself from Marnie to throw in the towel after
the Festival's brutality. Antonia, as it turns out, was a healer who only took
up necromancy to save her fellow villagers from fever. The whole vampire thing
was just an unfortunate by-product! Marnie then became as specist and
pig-headed as Fiona Shaw's Harry Potter character Petunia Dursley, and
re-convinced Antonia that all of the vampires, no matter how sexy they may be,
must die. Marnie was in control the whole time, she just needed Antonia's
power to set the whole thing in motion.

Back at
Jason's shaggin' wagon, the simpler Stackhouse and his new bedmate Jessica
discussed the reprecussions of their actions. Jason regretfully ruminated on
the important role his life-long friend Hoyt has played in his life, while
Jessica angrily defended their actions. Jason said what everyone else is
thinking when he acknowledged vampire blood's role in his seduction, but I
still felt bad for Jessica when he suggested that she glamour him into
forgetting the whole thing. After getting thrown out of Hoyt's and Jason's
homes respectively, this post-coital slight broke the camel's back.
"F--king humans," she said. "I'm going to go find somebody to

Jessica hunted for blood, Hoyt decided to visit Jason the morning
after for the sort of frank discussion best friends have in the days following
a painful breakup. Over a morning beer, Hoyt told Jason about the emptiness
he had been feeling in Jessica's absence and the torturous smells she
left behind, and Jason managed to avoid any eye contact when Hoyt literally
started to cry and asked Jason for a place to crash. Jason, out of
sorts and full of guilt, headed to Sookie's place to eat her bacon and bitch
about Hoyt's drunken flatulence, but the impending Tara dilemma managed to
distract both Stackhouse siblings from their out of control undead love lives.

Back at the
King's lair, Bill, Eric, Nan, Jessica, and Pam were chained up to protect
themselves from Mantonia's spell, arguing over their next course of action.
Nan, always focusing on the publicity fallout, threatened the
true death to everyone while Bill stuck to his arson plan and Jessica just
wanted to kill people. So blow up the Moon Goddess Emporium it is! If Eric
and/or Bill still wants to end up with Sookie, they are not
doing a very good job of it. If the last three years haven't taught them that
Tara is a major Achilles' heel, then nothing will.

and Jason decided to bring their arsonist vampire problems to
Lafayette and Jesus, but Jesus was still convinced that the Spanish spirit of
Antonia was the only culprit, and the innocent Marnie could still be
reached and saved. When they gathered outside of the forcefield-protected
Emporium, Sookie heard an angry Tara inside and Jesus decided to go in to
change Marnie's mind. Lafayette was understandably not happy about the whole
thing (as he shouldn't be— who else thinks that Lafayette is the most normal
inhabitant of Bon Temps and deserves his own spin-off?), but he still let Jesus
go in, probably for the sake of his cousin.

came out to face Jesus on the street as he struggled with the seemingly
electric force-field, and spoke to him first as Antonia. To pass Antonia's test
and win her trust, he would have to tackle the force-field and come to her.
This was not an easy task, and it looked like Jesus might burn until he
transformed into an insanely creepy demon straight out of Insidious or a
Mexican wrestling match. "It's a Latin thing," Lafayette explained as
Sookie and Jason freaked out from a distance.

Latin or not
it worked, and Mantonia led Jesus back into the Emporium as a trusted member of
her circle. Antonia temporarily peaced out so that Jesus could plead openly to
Marnie, but things went sour very quickly when Marnie brought the crazy and
started rambling about her sacred union with Antonia. Jesus tried to
telepathically communicate this to Sookie as Tara and Holly cast their spell,
disabled the protection spell and hightailed it out of there, but when the gang
all gathered outside, Mantonia made everyone vanish back into the store
but Jason.

Then night
fell, and Eric finally got his wardrobe back as he, Bill, Pam and Jessica did
an amazing slow-motion walk towards the Emporium with their flame guns in tow,
ready to kill Sookie once and for all. It's happening next week, guys!

werewolfs and shifters of Louisiana were still playing Switzerland in
the escalating witch war, but they definitely managed to drum up
plenty of drama on their own. Tommy was back in his own skin after
taking Sam's intended ass-kicking by Marcus and his thugs, but he was
also spitting up crazy amounts of blood and experiencing bone-cracking seizures
in Alcide's truck. Alcide took Tommy to Merlotte's as his dying
wish, where Tommy was able to pass peacefully with his brother by his side and
a Budweiser sign over his head. I don't think I'm the only viewer who never
took to the terrible Tommy Mickens, but watching Alcide and Sam awkwardly try
to convince him of the heaven that may await him was almost worth the dog
fights and the creepy skinwalking sex scenes. "There ain't no Heaven, and
Hell's a dog fight," Tommy said. Poor Tommy only wanted to be
forgotten, for this one final good deed to erase his sins, even the playing
field, and give him a bit of peace on his deathbed. Sam and Alcide weren't
as comfortable with his existential view of death, and gave Tommy his
final reassuring blessings. "Won't you be surprised when angels come
and lift you up," Sam said. Seriously, this whole scene just reaffirmed
how insane Sookie is for sticking with the vamps when she has Sam Merlotte and
Alcide Herveaux waiting in the sidelines.

When Tommy
finally passed, Sam told Alcide that his new pack leader, Marcus, is a
dead man. Alcide would probably agree if ever learned that Marcus and Debbie
spent their day smoking pot and talking about having illegitimate babies
together, but that's a story for next week. They headed to Marcus and
Friends' body shop for retribution, but Marcus was busy romancing Debbie so
they had to settle on beating up one of Tommy's other random werewolf
attackers. This probably won't sit will with Alcide's new pack, and the
upcoming Sam/Alcide vs. Marcus battle is sure to be a good one, but I had a
hard time focusing on anything but the height difference between Sam Trammell
and Joe Manganiello.

In the
absence of the possessed baby plotline, the Bellefleur family had their own
little story-within-a-story type of week that solely dealt with Andy's cripping
addiction to V. In this week's True Life: I'm Addicted to V, Terry brought Andy out
to the treehouse in the woods they played in as boys, and Andy started to
ramble on about Terry being the good looking athlete in the family when
they were in high school. As Terry dug their old rifles out of the dirt, Andy
explained that V had made him a better man. "That's junkie talk,
Andy!" Terry said.

In the end,
the trip down memory lane convinced Andy that it was time to get sober again,
and Terry left Andy in the woods for a sobering walk home. Somebody please fire
Candy Finnigan, because this was the smoothest episode of Intervention I
have ever seen. Chris Bauer and Todd Lowe are great actors and they're
frequently valuable to this show, but I hope that this embarrassing
plotline is quickly resolved by the time season five rolls around. With all of
the vampires holding flame guns and wiccans transforming into Latin American
demons, the drug problem is an unwelcome distraction.

What did you
this episode? Did you miss the nudity, or did you like the non-stop
action? Will Tommy be missed? Will Sookie, Tara, Lafayette, and Jesus die in a
fiery blaze? It could happen, right?



So not surprisingly, Sookie survived being shot with a wooden
bullet in the cemetery. At first, she was too far gone to take Bill’s blood,
but after Bill and Alcide prayed offscreen (“Werewolf and a vampire, who’s
gonna listen?” Alcide asked) she did. She eventually woke up, and I found
myself wondering whether Bill had asked Alcide to go get a washcloth so he
could clean his blood off her face. Thoughtful. Sookie’s first thought was of
Eric, who Bill said was missing. Alcide had enough of Sookie risking her life
for fangers and left. Sookie thanked Bill for giving her his blood, and he
said anytime. I should have been anticipating a lust-filled dream, but mainly,
my mind was still on how close Alcide’s head was to the ceiling when he walked
out of her living room. It reminded me of studying abroad in London my junior
year of college, and my flatmate Amy watching an NYPD Blue episode
and suddenly addressing the TV: “Jimmy Smits, you a big tall man. Well
" (That was 15 years ago, and I still impersonate her.)

The next time we saw Sookie, she was on her couch, but dressed in
red lingerie. We knew from the slo-mo and dreamy jazz that it was a dream
sequence. She rose to answer the door in stilettos, and it was Eric, dressed
like Real Eric with heavage. He didn’t speak, he just walked in and started
kissing her. Oh, how we’ve missed you Real Eric, or at least your fashion
sense. As he kissed down her body, we saw Bill sitting at the table.

Bill wanted her to tell Eric that she never stopped loving him, and
that’s why he was in her dream. She couldn’t help herself, she told Eric. She’d
had Bill’s blood. The boys prepared to fight, with Eric shouting that he was 10
times Bill’s age, and Bill yelling that he loved Sookie 20 times as much. She
ordered them to the living room to have a talk. Ultimately, she explained that
she could be dreaming about anything -- swimming with dolphins, eating a whole
pie without the calories counting -- so the fact that she was dreaming about
the two of them must mean something. She’s in love with both of them. Bill said
she couldn’t be, that’s not who she is. Sookie said she was putting that
self-conscious little girl who was too scared to think outside the box behind
her. New Sookie doesn’t have to be Bill’s or Eric’s. Bill and Eric could be

The men protested. “I’m the king of Louisiana, I do not share,”
Bill said. Eric told her she had to choose. But Sookie played hardball. Why is
it a man wanting to be with two women he doesn’t even know is an acceptable
idea, but a woman who tries to have her way with two men she’s totally and
completely in love with isn’t? She was asking them to love her back, together.
“It’s either both of you or nothing at all,” she said. Then, with Gran turning
over in her grave, Sookie joined them on the uncomfortable sofa. I
thought/hoped she was going to make them kiss -- which would have been amazing
-- but instead, she grabbed their heads and pulled them to her neck. That’s
when she woke up. I know the takeaway from that dream was that Sookie still has
feelings for Bill (and presumably would even without his blood in her system),
but I find it even more fascinating that Eric looked like Real Eric.

Perhaps that was meant to signify that Sookie truly does love Eric,
and will even if/when he gets his memory back. Or, she could have just dressed
him like that because it felt appropriately naughty for the dream. Real Eric is
even more outside the box than Nice Eric. Before me move on, for whom do you
think filming that scene was the most awkward: Anna Paquin, her husband Stephen
Moyer, or Alexander Skarsgard? I’m sure they laughed their way through it, but
still, a threeway isn’t something married actors are asked to shoot every day.
I wonder if they cut it short because going farther would’ve made the idea
uncomfortable (though the three have done at least one nude magazine photo
shoot together), or if it’s because they wanted to leave a place to go to the
next time Sookie has a fantasy….

Back in reality, Eric was with Antonia and the
other surviving witches at the Moon Goddess Emporium. Antonia wanted them to
form a circle for a protection spell, and Tara, along with everyone but
friendless Roy, refused. This wasn’t what they’d signed up for. They wanted to
leave, but Antonia wouldn’t let them. She’d brought Eric back with them because
she wanted to show the cameras at the following night’s Festival of Tolerance
what vampires are capable of, and what witches are capable of doing to them.

At Bill’s, Jessica had spent hours crying to Nan
about Hoyt, just like the teenager she technically is. She wished she was dead,
then remembered she was and it didn’t matter. Nan said the experience made her
happy that she’d never put her career on hold to become a maker. Successful
female vampires: they’re just like us! “You’re nothing like you are on TV,”
Jessica told cold Nan. When Bill returned home, they went down to the cell to
be silvered for daylight. While Jessica continued to whimper, Bill and Nan
fought. Bill wanted to cancel the tolerance rally in case Eric was now under
Antonia’s control as Luis had been. Nan wouldn’t allow it. What would she tell
the TV networks and bloggers? Bill suggested she blame it on the witches, which
humans had happily done in the past. No, she said. He could increase security,
but the event would happen and the cameras better find him in a “festive and
tolerant f---ing mood.” I’m torn: Part of me wants Nan to pay for her poor
decision-making and inability to see beyond the next day’s headlines, and part
of me wants to see Nan be the one to do Antonia in after Antonia tries to pet
her like she’s a four-legged bitch.

Sam, meanwhile, was still at Luna’s while all this
was going down. She wanted him to leave incase Marcus came back, but Sam is
reclaiming his title as Best Boyfriend Ever from Alcide. Luna is trying to
teach Emma not to run from her problems, but, Sam insisted, camping was a
loophole because it’s just getting back to nature, which is always healthy.
Plus, Emma would be too distracted in the morning when she awoke in the woods
to piece together why no one had mentioned to her that they were going camping.
You’re a good man, Sam Merlotte. I thought he underestimated Emma, but he was
right: She was consumed with trying to catch a rabbit to pet. She told her mom
and Sam that she hoped she’d grow up to be a shifter instead of a werewolf so
she could shift into a bunny and pet herself. Sam, guaranteeing he’d get laid
that night, pretended to be catching the rabbit and shifted into one himself so
Emma could pet him. Smooth, Sam. I’m trying not to dislike Luna for the trouble
she’s causing Sam, and her parenting skills are helping. She doesn’t use the
word “fat” around her daughter, and she told her that whatever she turns out to
be is what she's meant to be and it’s perfect.

Luna did end up crawling into Sam’s tent that
night as he was reading by flashlight (swoon), and we got to cut back-and-forth
from them to Tommy as Sam getting his ass kicked by Marcus’ pack. I understand
that the advantage of running with a pack is people always have your back. But
I’m sorry, Marcus having all that backup when he invited Sam over to intimidate
him into not dating Luna made him look weak to me. After that night in the
cemetery, and sneaking back into bed with Debbie (did Alcide not know she’d
smell Sookie’s blood on him?), Alcide decided he wanted to move up in the
Shreveport pack ranks. It was important to Debbie, he told Marcus, so it had to
be important to him. I think it’s dangerous for Marcus to know Alcide will do
anything for Debbie, don’t you? Especially after all that happened this hour.
Alcide agreed to be there when Marcus talked to the shifter screwing his wife,
but only because Marcus said all he was going to do was talk. He’d gone to
Merlotte’s looking for Sam and found Tommy instead. Tommy was there writing a
goodbye note to Sam when Marcus gave him his card and said to tell Sam to be
there tonight or he’d have an even bigger problem.

I’m not sure why Tommy went there. I’d like to
think he was protecting Sam and thought he should be the one paying for
sleeping with Luna. I assume he didn’t know that Sam was still seeing her and
genuinely believed the bad blood would end after that night. (If he'd heard
they were dating, what did he think would happen the next time Marcus saw them
together, even if he took this beating for Sam?) I also don’t think Tommy cared
if he got killed. Why else would he mouth off to Marcus? Fortunately, Alcide is
enough of a man not to beat on a guy he has no issue with and to growl and stop
others when they’re going too far. When Tommy turned back into himself, Marcus
ordered his men to get rid of him, but Alcide picked him up and carried him
out. He made Tommy look like a child in his arms. Are we hoping Tommy lives? I
feel like he’s a character that just exists to die. We’ve had so many scares.
Was this a big enough moment for producers to pull the trigger? (The promo for
next week shows Alcide holding one of the guys who kicked Tommy’s butt so Sam
can have at him. Maybe he 
does die.)

We know Marcus won’t be happy with Alcide, nor
will he be happy with Debbie if word gets back that she went to Antonia and
pissed her off by tricking her. Debbie is a frustrating character but also an
interesting one. We saw her buy V and down a vial, which made you think she'd
lost her mind, and it was a gun she’d pulled out of her car and was holding
behind her back at Sookie’s door. Instead, it was flowers. Tired of Debbie
rambling over iced tea, Sookie told her to be quiet so she could listen to her
thoughts: Debbie was saying she’d do anything for Alcide, and she wished Sookie
would see that she wanted to help her. Not knowing Alcide had washed his hands
of Sookie, Debbie thought doing anything for Alcide meant helping her. Way to
take advantage of her, Sookie, but all is fair in love and war. I think the
first time I truly liked Debbie was when she said even if Sookie thinks reading
minds is a curse, it’d be nice to know what people are thinking every once in a
while. There was a genuine vulnerability that made you forgive 
most of the crazy. Sookie told her Alcide loved
her. Friends!

The plan, apparently, was for Debbie to distract
Antonia at the door of the Moon Goddess Emporium while Sookie snuck in through
a window and found Eric. Debbie played it cool at first: She said she knew who
and what Antonia was up against and she was there on behalf of the Shreveport
wolf pack to pledge allegiance to her cause and offer support. Sookie found
Eric, and he wouldn’t or couldn’t move. He told Sookie to leave. She knew he
was under Antonia’s spell, which, if Antonia was smart, would’ve included an
not to reveal his orders to
anyone. But he was able to tell Sookie he’d been charged with killing the king.

Tara stumbled upon Sookie and drew a gun on her. I
assume Debbie was trying to save herself when she pointed out that she’d
brought telepathic Sookie, who aids vampires, to Antonia. Or was she smart
enough to know that Antonia wouldn’t want Tara to shoot Sookie because Sookie
could be useful? Regardless, Tara told Sookie her coming there was the
stupidest thing she’d ever seen and pointedly asked her if she was even
listening to her. Sookie listened to Tara’s thoughts, which told her they were
being held captive and Bill was at the Dorchester hotel. She told Sookie to
charge her, so she could make it look like she wasn’t letting her escape when
she hit the ground and fired shots. Smart move, Tara. Antonia took only Roy and
Eric with her to the hotel and locked the rest of the witches inside. When Tara
touched the door knob, it burned her hand. The same thing happened to someone
who tried another door.

Debbie got back in her car and wasn’t exactly
happy to see Sooke running toward her. Debbie’s work wasn’t done. She had to
drive Sookie to the Dorchester. I assume we got that quip from Sookie calling
out Debbie’s slow driving (“I have to say, for a badass werewolf, you drive
like a girl”) so we’d buy that Antonia could have beat them there. The only
other vampires at the tolerance rally besides Nan, Bill, and the sister of the
girl who’d started the LSU chapter of the Living Dead Alliance, were the three
remaining Louisiana sheriffs, which Bill likened to holding a Civil Rights
protest without any African-Americans present. Eric got the sheriffs to chase
him and led them into a trap -- Antonia gained control of them as well.

After Nan, in a suit inspired by Jackie O., spewed
some facts I didn’t care enough about to rewind and jot down, it was Bill’s
turn to speak about how they needed to be vigilant -- a message of hate is more
seductive than a message of love. Sookie yelled his name, and Nan’s “Oh, Jesus
f---ing Christ” was priceless. Then, in the balcony, the vampire sheriffs made
Bill’s human guards' intestines come out the front of their bodies and dropped
them to the floor below on Antonia’s command. “They’re comin’ for you, Bill.
Run!” Sookie said, as the sheriffs tossed bodies in the crowd on their way to
the stage and Eric zoomed toward Bill from a box seat. I can’t wait to see how
those next few moments play out. Watching the promo for next week, it looks
like Eric is the one who ends up getting shot with a wooden bullet?

So much drama, we needed a little levity. Cue Hoyt
waking up the morning after his breakup with Jessica, stumbling upon a Taylor
Swift CD, and deciding to pack up a box of her belongings, which included
Twilight book. We didn’t see Hoyt
put the CD in the box at first, so I choose to believe it was 
their CD, and he hadn’t decided whether or not to
give it to her… until Jason found out.

This episode was the most action Hoyt’s house has
seen. Mavis, in Lafayette’s body, showed up there thinking it was still her
home. She pulled Andy's gun on Hoyt, and Hoyt ran out of the house in his
boxers and called Jason, who was at the Bellefleurs investigating Mikey’s
kidnapping. Again, I love the actors who play Terry and Andy and want to see
more of them, but if Andy’s V addiction exists simply so Terry can accuse Andy
of being jealous that he has a wife and child -- lame. Andy downed a vial of V,
forgot to bring Hoyt a pair of pants, then broke down the door of Hoyt’s house
and nearly got himself shot in the head by Mavis. Jason tackled Andy back
outside. Terry and Arlene showed up, and Andy tackled Terry before he could get
inside. That’s when Terry accused Andy of being jealous.

Andy, realizing he was in no condition to be calling
the shots, put Jason in charge. Jason’s first order of business was asking
Jesus, who Arlene had called, if Lafayette ever turns into a woman named Mavis
when they roleplay. Oh, Jason. Jesus went into the house and explained the
situation to Mavis. She only began to believe Mikey wasn’t her son and she was
dead when Jesus said she’d entered his boyfriend’s body. 
Boyfriend? She felt her man parts and knew she couldn’t
have birthed a baby.

Jesus did some magic, and Mavis recounted her last
night alive. She wanted to know why she couldn’t hug her baby one last time,
and the lover who'd killed him said it was because he’d already buried him. He
stabbed Mavis, and her spirit floated up and watched herself die. She saw the
man shoveling and couldn’t take anymore and left. They knew where to look for
the body of her baby.

Terry is such a good guy: when Mavis apologized
for taking Mikey, he told Lafayette these things happen and they still love
him. Hoyt was doing the digging when they found the remains of both Mavis
and her baby. Mavis held her son and sang to him. Jesus said it was time to go,
he needed his Lafayette back, and as he did a spell, Mavis' spirit left
Lafayette’s body. Somehow, they 
all saw
that happen, which you could tell from Terry’s “Holy f---.” We got to see Mavis
holding her baby’s adorable spirit and they were gone -- but not before she
thanked Lafayette. “You got it, bitch,” he said. Ha. Anyone else thinking
Lafayette spinoff? With 
Medium and Ghost Whisperer off the air, there is a hole. Though
truthfully, I would settle for Lafayette’s storyline converging with the witch
and vampire war next episode. Presumably Sookie will tell him and Jesus about
Tara being held prisoner, and they’ll team up with the vampires.

When that mess was over, it was time for Jason to
drink some Bud and help Hoyt put his door back up. Yes, Jason, minus the bullet
holes, it looked great. Jason found the Taylor Swift CD, which Hoyt placed in a
box labeled “For you, monster.” He asked Jason to drop it off at Bill’s on his
way home. Jason tried to get out of it, but as Hoyt’s best friend, he had to do
it if Hoyt never wants to see Jessica again. All Hoyt got out of their year
together was fang marks, he said. But apparently, all she got out of it could
fit into a box -- where were her clothes? -- so quit your bitchin’, Hoyt.

It was nice that Jason scratched out “For you,
monster” on the box, wasn’t it? He could tell she was upset. She guessed he
paraphrased Hoyt’s words (how impressed were you that Jason used the word
“paraphrasing?”). Jason said if she ever needed to talk… She invited him in,
but he didn’t think it was a good idea. It was like he thought he’d be safe if
he stayed in the doorway. But he hesitated too long before leaving. He should
have dropped and done pushups, but once you heard the dramatic string intro
to Taylor Swift’s
 you knew he hadn’t. Outside, the camera panned
through the grass to Jason’s truck, in the bed of which Jessica popped up
straddling a naked Jason. I guess they didn’t want to stay inside incase Bill
came home? And all of Bill’s guards had gone with him? (Seems like someone
should have stayed behind to guard the King’s grounds.) I love this storyline:
I love that they got a Taylor Swift song, age-appropriate for Jessica, instead
of an epic instrumental like Sookie has with her immortal lovers. I love that it’s
manwhore Jason and eternal virgin Jessica. The only thing I don’t love is the
feeling that Jason wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t have Jessica’s blood in
him. It’s sad that his friendship with Hoyt will be ruined over something he
had no control over. Then again, Sookie had Real Eric’s blood in her and
resisted him.

Your turn. What did you think of the episode? Were
you satisfied with the Mikey/doll payoff? Is anyone else worried that the only
way Andy's V addiction storyline is worth the screentime it’s received is if an
angry Andy (gulp) kills Terry? How will Bill and Eric escape the Festival of
Tolerance alive? How great will it be to see Alcide and Sam have scenes
together? What the hell is Debbie doing with Marcus? And which Taylor Swift
song do you hope Jason and Jessica get it onto next? There will be a next time,



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...