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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

¡NO RIGHT TO SLEEP!

I have no right to sleep as long as the people are not masters of their own destiny - Patrice Lumumba Congo My Country

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE "MAN-SHAKE"

According to Urban Dictionary a MAN-SHAKE is described as: A very masculine handshake, using a lumberjack-strength squeeze and a swift, firm up and down pumping action. Now you would think that all this man-on-man action would be easy for me, but it is not! When I go to the barber or meet a hetero-male and we greet each other, I just extend my hand to meet his and let him do all the work. I mean c’mon I don’t the rituals of hetero-men, all I know is that when I greet a homosexual male, we hug or give each other huge greetings. Now I have to deal with the MAN-SHAKE as if we don’t have enough things to deal with as gay men.
Do you remember the days when saying hello to another man was easy? “Hello john.” Oh hello Peter.” Then they shake hands ensuring that the conversation was about to take place. Then one day, someone somewhere decided that a simple handshake wasn’t working OR they wanted to confused gay men like me and as a result we have the evolution of the MAN-SHAKE. I wish I knew who decides these things. Moreover I wish they’d create some sort of instruction manual because, one day we are shaking hands and the next we are doing a version of a secret handshake that we did as little boys.

The MANY different versions of the MAN-SHAKE confuse me, because just when I think I know it, they go and change it! So much for a gay man assimilating huh? The problem I find with MAN-SHAKE(S) is that NO ONE knows which version they are going to get and it makes things VERY awkward. I don’t know about you, but it is VERY awkward when someone wants to do all the maneuvers they do and all you want to do is merely give them a simple handshake. From where I am standing, the MAN-SHAKE looks ridiculous to me, but I guess that is accepted because we live an awkward world. Thankfully we have started moving towards the “fist bump.”  After all, aren’t we gay men EXPERTS @ fisting N’ bumping? 

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