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Wednesday, August 19, 2009


In order to obtain the most accurate measurements possible, please follow the guidelines below and remember that the closer you follow these guidelines, the more accurate your measurements will be…
  1. Stimulate yourself with reckless abandon until you are hard as a piece of wood. DO NOT ejaculate. I know it is tempting, but it will spoil your measurement. Nothing spoils an erection more than a forceful orgasm. You may harvest your seed once you have taken your measurements. 

  2. Place a soft measuring tape gently on the skin of your belly, at the base of your erect penis. Do not use a measuring device made of metal, plastic, or wood. Many men have a slight curve in their shaft, and using a hard measuring device does not allow for an accurate measurement. Press the measuring tape against your Phallus and read the nearest quarter-inch measurement at the tip of your penis.

  3. Record this number on a piece of paper. Keep this in a safe place, far from prying eyes.

  4. Repeat this measurement procedure for seven days and record the results along with your first measurement, preferably with different erections and preferably on different days. Why? Because, as is the way of the world, your erections will vary slightly each day, depending on your level or arousal, time of day, room temperature, the length of time between your last sexual experience, and your diet.

After seven days, add up the total of your measurements and divide by seven. This will give you a very accurate measurement of the length of your erect penis.


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