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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

LET HIM GO



WHO HASN’T EITHER BEEN IN AN UNWHOLESOME RELATIONSHIP OR KNOWS SOMEONE WHO HAS? WHO HASN’T BEEN IN OR KNOWS SOMEONE WHO’S STILL ANGRY ABOUT WHAT HIS EX HAS DONE TO HIM? ISN’T IT INTERESTING THAT WHEN A RELATIONSHIP IS OVER, WE MAY STILL CARE ABOUT THE PERSON EVEN THOUGH HE IS LONG GONE? Even though there's nothing wrong with caring about an ex-lover, it is just that it impedes the movement into a relationship that could be the ONE. I know that it is difficult to move on to a new relationship when one doesn’t have REAL closure with the last one. I read somewhere on net that says that one should see the end of a relationship as a death of a love one. Others advised that one must go through the 7 stages of grief (shock or disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance/hope). In my experiences, I have come across a number of GAY men who have not gotten over their ex and don't really know it. As I listen to a guy talk, it is just a matter to time before he brings up his past relationships. It amazed me how most GAY men would go out of their way to inform an ex about a potential relationship AND I have seen it taking place because I was in the situation. HOW CAN WE WANT OR ASK ANOTHER TO BE A BARGAINING CHIP OR PUT HIMSELF IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS A THREESOME FROM THE START? It is SO obvious that he has NOT gotten over him AND that I will be in competition with his ex. I AM ALL FOR FOLKS BEING THE BEST THEY CAN & DEALING WITH THINGS THAT TAKE SUCH A TOLL ON THEM SUCH AS GETTING PAST SOMETHING THAT HAS PASSED. WE ALL HAD A RELATIONSHIP OR TWO THAT APPEARS TO MAKE US FEEL AS THE CHAOS BEING EXPERIENCE WILL NEVER END. THOUGH IT MAY SEEM AS IF THIS IS SOMETHING THAT CANNOT BE DONE WITH, I SAY GAY MEN PLEASE STOP LIVNG THE MANTRA! ONE MUST REMEMBER THAT A RELATIONSHIP GONE BAD, LIKE SO MANY HAS, CAN BE A GIFT. HAVING A RELATIONSHIP GONE SOUR CAN SHOW ONE THAT IT IS TIME TO SLOW DOWN, CHANGE COURSE, OR LIGHTEN UP. THOUGH MANY MAY SEE THIS AS GOOD ADVICE, THERE ARE STILL SO MANY GAY MEN THAT SIMPLY ISN’T ACCEPTING IT. SO MANY GAY MEN LIVE THEIR LIVES CLINGING TO THE LONG-TERM NEGATIVE EFFECT OF A RELATIONSHIP GONE BAD. BUT BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THEY NEED CLOSURE IN ORDER TO EVEN ENTERTAIN THE THOUGHT THE POSSIBILITY OF A FUTURE ONE.

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