I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Tuesday, July 10, 2012


I've been struggling for about a year now with an unrequited love that has left
me so empty and lonely that I honestly don't know where to turn to. A long
story short, I feel in love with an amazing guy who is 4 years older than me.
Due to age difference he has refused to be my partner although we have lived so
much things as though we are a couple. In my heart we are a couple actually.

I love
him very deeply and have been faithful to him even if he doesn't care. We used
to talk a lot, message over facebook, chat over messenger...we have been very
close. But lately, these past 3 months he has been very distant although we
meet in person quiet regularly. Although this time around what gets me is that
he is lost in his cellphone, responding text and facebook messages while he
hardly responds to mine lately. He claims he doesn't love me and actually he
just thinks of me as a friend, yet we have sex whenever he wants to, not when I
want to. 

We go
to the same gym and it used to be so cool since we joined together, yet now it
is a hell since he confessed to me that he dated a guy who goes to our gym...he
didn't tell me who and I don't want to know. I must also point out that our
"relationship" has been very draining for me...he constantly tells me
he doesn't like my body, my face, or anything at has really taken a
toll on my self love. 

last days I've come to realize that I must get away from him at any cost, well,
I deleted my facebook account and cut any chance for us to talk online. I saw
him today at the club and I treated him distant and cold, which made me feel
successful and strong for the time being, but as hours went by I just feel so
miserable that he is not calling me, he is not interested in my life at all, he
doesn't reply my texts...I really want to get over this guy but I feel
tormented at the thought of this feeling of mine being true love. I don't know
what to do with my broken heart and I don't know how to cope with the fact that
his life goes on quiet well without me, while my life is an unbearable


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