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I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.

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Friday, August 29, 2008

STEPPING BACK


I have always been one that believes that as you grow and experience life that you handle things differently. And NOTHING proves this point more than a relationship. My current relationship has been going for 10 LOVELY months and though 95% of that is filled with good times it AMAZES me how the 5% could REALLY put a hurting on things. This 5% of hurt has been living in my midst for the past 2 days and it has been interesting to say the least. Nonetheless, I believe that a relationship, in the truest sense of the word, means relating to another. And usually when we say that we relate to someone, it is because we've found common ground. But I have found out that apart of relating is finding ways to make things that seem to be opposites come together. I’ve often found that when I choose a relationship, I try to fit another person into my predetermined ideal. When they don't fit perfectly and there is a difference of opinion I try to make them over which is NEVER a good thing. Therefore I have realized that taking a STEP BACK, giving him some time to cool off helps with the tense moments. Separating ourselves from the heat of the moment, I find that the emotional trigger that began the argument has little to do with the present situation, but it has brought up feelings related to something else entirely. In our case we are ALWAYS on different topics so it PAYS to get a breather. He gets SO consumed with being heard that he is NOT listening, which presents something interesting in itself. I know that I can say things that are hurtful so I try to use as much tact as I possibly can so I can defuse the situation before it gets the best of us. And as much as this takes its toll on us, the makeup SEX is something that I can definitely become addicted to, despite the drama AND excitement. I guess DEEP down inside I know that there is NOTHING wrong with an argument because we STILL LOVE each other through it all. I mean if he is the man that I want and NOT someone that I’ve imagined I know he is the my IMPERFECT man which works for me. Being with him makes me see that an HONEST relationship is one in which we accept each other as whole individuals, and us finding a way to share our lives together. The good AND the bad…in this regard I get to LOVE him all over again for the FIRST time AND that makes our relationship something EXTREMELY special. SO STEPPING BACK FROM HURTING EACH CAN ACTUALLY SAVE US FOR US.

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