Last week’s cataclysmic Snatch Game certainly
warranted special circumstances, and in that regard, the episode delivers. The
LaLaPaRuZa structure is indeed thrilling, but the conclusion made the whole
experience feel less like dramatic twists and more like the scenic route.
If you recall,
seven of our eight ladies are in danger of elimination. DeJa’s perfectly fine
Lil Jon earns her a safe spot, but, in hindsight, it feels like a missed
opportunity to show up and show out at a time when all the season’s standings
are being recalibrated. She gets to kick it in the Werk Room and watch the
battles with the winning queens from each round.
The other
seven girls stand quaking on the runway while Ru unveils the rules. First, the
inexplicably hot Pit Crew guy, Calix (whose
Instagram is worth losing yourself in for a spell), picks a gal via lotto drum.
That queen picks her opponent. However, her opponent gets to pick the song.
It’s a diabolical layer of strategy to spring on the queens during an already
stressful time, and I am living for it.
Round 1: Jasmine v. Daya
For a queen that
was already eliminated earlier this season, Daya sure is salty
Jorgeous and Jasmine have escaped the chop for so many weeks. She’s in a
full-blown tizzy early in the episode, so when Calix picks Jasmine Kennedie for
the first lip sync, it’s no shocker whom she chooses to face.
As the first
queen drawn, Jasmine isn’t expecting the additional twist of Daya choosing the
song. (The other competitors immediately take note.) Daya wisely picks Aretha
Franklin’s “Respect” hoping to limit Jasmine’s stuntability (a word I think I
just invented and will not remove). Joke’s on Daya, because Jasmine still finds
ways to slam her taint on the runway like a jackhammer.
Outdanced,
Daya is still not outdone. Instead, looking like a scene girl right out of
Myspace in 2004, Daya uses the opportunity to demand the “respect” she’s been
clamoring for all season. Jasmine does have the dancing skills, but, if you
look closely, she struggles to stay consistent with the lyrics when there’s
more than one part singing. This is a tight lip sync though, and every little
thing counts. Daya manages to eke out the win, and Jasmine must lip sync again
later.
Round 2:
Willow v. Bosco
Calix, who
only somehow gets hotter throughout the episode, pulls Willow’s ball next.
Willow knows the queen she chooses picks their track, so she’s keen to choose a
queen she believes will select the song she most wants to sync to. Still with
me? That’s why she chooses Bosco, another comedic queen (and the one most
likely to choose the campiest option). Bosco plays right into Willow’s plan,
selecting “Never Too Much” by Luther Vandross.
Willow seems
to settle into the song about midway through, but once she hits her stride,
it’s really fun to watch. She masterfully toes the line between sexy and stupid,
punctuating a slinky, sultry sync with just a few perfect moments of levity.
I’m a bit
disappointed seeing Bosco in more underwear on the runway, decked out in
another kooky, spooky Bettie Page-inspired look. She gives her all to the
performance, but it ends up feeling one-note. It’s a good note, but it fails to
ride the sexy vibes of the song the way Willow does. Ru declares Willow the
winner and sends a shocked Bosco to await her next challenger.
Round 3: Jorgeous v. Camden v. Angeria
I appreciate
how Ru and crew don’t get tripped up on the odd number of competitors and flow
seamlessly into a three-way sync with the remaining gals. Because we still need
an excuse to cast our gaze upon Calix, he draws a ball to pick the song. When
he pulls Jorgeous’ ball, everyone assumes Jorgeous will pick the available J.
Lo track, but she shocks everyone by selecting “Radio,” by Beyoncé.
On a night
full of strong lip sync battles, this one still stands out. The song is a
banger from the jump, and all three queens kick things off at 11 and keep the
energy going the whole way through. The spectacle is so unrelenting, it’s like
watching a three-ring circus. There’s something exciting happening everywhere
you look.
The argument
could be made for any of these queens to be declared victor, but Jorgeous’
unstoppable lip sync streak continues. Even the other safe queens have no
choice but to STAN when Jorgeous triumphantly enters the Werk Room.
Round 4: Camden v. Bosco
Camden gets to
pick her opponent next, opting for a clearly still shook Bosco. Like Daya
before her, Bosco tries to a pick a track that will limit her competition’s
dancing strength. Unfortunately, the closest available song to a snoozer is En
Vogue’s “Don’t Let Go.” Although it’s a slow jam, the song is, scientifically
speaking, an absolute atomic bomb of emotion.
If The Daytona Wind taught us anything,
it’s that Camden is not only a dancer; she’s also an actress. It’s that
skillset that shines brighter here than her kicks and splits. She’s the one
giving the song the intense emotion it demands, despite Bosco’s best efforts.
It feels a bit of more of the same from Bosco, and Ru unfortunately agrees.
Camden is declared safe, and Bosco faces a third lip sync.
Round 5: Angeria v. Jasmine
The last two
remaining queens for this round battle it out to the last remaining track,
“Love Don’t Cost a Thing.” Angeria is fond of dipping into a deep squat
repeatedly, but those unmistakable eyes are hypnotizing. It makes it hard to
look away from her, adding to her already striking presence. The safe queens
spectating all seem agree, and so does Mama Ru. That means Angie is safe, and
Jasmine faces her sixth sync of the season.
Round 6: Jasmine v. Bosco
It all comes
down to this. For a final showdown, Ru demands the girls perform Diana Ross’
“Swept Away.” Finally, Bosco breaks through, pushes through the ceiling she
struggled against all night to go full-out on the last number. She tells us
she’s busting out all her stripper moves, but there’s more oomph overall.
Jasmine, to her credit, pulls out moves that could only be possible by
replacing one’s spine with a pool noodle. There are backbends scientists are
still straining to explaining. It’s good, but just not good enough.
Ru keeps
Bosco, sends home Jasmine, and … wait, couldn’t we have just done this last
week? Jasmine was one of the (if not THE) weakest in this season’s cursed
Snatch Game, so why not just eliminate her then and move on? I have no problem
with how it played out, Ru’s choices round-to-round, but it feels like just
another way we’re stretching this season.
With the
LaLaPaRUZa in the rearview, where do the queens stand? Let’s review in our
rankings, and leave yours in the comments!
1.
If anything is certain now, it’s Willow‘s
clear ascent to frontrunner. After one of the most disappointing Snatch
performances, Willow reminded everyone why she’s not only a talented queen,
she’s a savvy one. And savage. She expertly played the cards she keeps famously
close to her chest. She looked great and reminded everyone that, in addition to
her creative, comedy and design skills, she’s also a great lip syncer.
2.
Angeria‘s confident performance tonight all but erases the bad memory of her
miserable Tammie Brown impression. Instead, she reminded us of the charismatic
queen who introduced herself with a killer lip sync to her own original track
in the beginning of the season. Did she accomplish what she needed this week?
Check!
3.
It goes to show how strong these lip syncs
were this week when Lady Camden‘s excellent performances are hardly
even remarked upon. She gave plenty of face, tons of technique and even some
comedy in there. (I particularly enjoyed her interpretation of Beyoncé’s line
“Then I hear vibrations all up in my trunk.”) It looks like another acting challenge
on the horizon, which favors the fair Lady, so it’s looking good for Camden in
the near term.
4.
I hope Daya defeating
Jasmine serves as the conclusion to their mini-rivalry and Daya’s general sour
attitude. Her look on tonight’s runway brought me right back to the studded
belt rack at Hot Topic in 2003, but in a good way? Although her lip sync wasn’t
spectacular, it sent a strong message and may give her the confidence she needs
to transcend the desperation dripping off her over the last few weeks.
5.
This was a great night for Jorgeous.
Oh, you’re just asking her to dance to a Beyoncé song? That seems like a
warm-up for Jorgeous on any other night. Even the other queens can’t help but
compliment Jorgeous on her effortlessly fierce performance. She seemed
genuinely reenergized when she got safely back to the Werk Room, so I hope
she’s turning a corner with her own confidence in the competition.
6.
It’s hard to place DeJa this
week, which may be a bigger issue for her in the competition/fandom more
broadly. Without question, the other seven girls all impressed tonight, which
makes DeJa (whose Snatch win wasn’t that impressive in the first place) start
to fade away at a really inopportune time.
7.
What a precipitous fall from grace for the
once surging Bosco. Coming right on the heels of a deeply
disappointing Snatch, her repeated defeats in the lip sync smackdown feel all
the more devastating. These should have been displays of Bosco’s strength, but
they were flops. Plus, again, we see her in Bettie Page undies on the runway.
The pacing of this season is all over place, but seeing Bosco attempt to
weather three lip syncs in a row was tough.
8.
Jasmine made a valiant effort this week to
stave off an elimination that probably should have happened weeks ago. I’m glad
she got to show off what she loves to do one last time (OK, three last times),
but it was her time to go. She also seems to be leaving a little bit humbler
than she arrived, which will only serve the immensely talented young queen
going forward.
What did you think
of the episode?
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