I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Funny how people live their lives as if only they matter. And I like a fool made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t grow up to become my mother and funny how I did…I guess no matter how much I changed, the core things about me never changed. For years and years I sat and watch as people come and take from my mother, leaving her broken and in pain; yet she wore her heart on her sleeve, pant, shoes…handbag…my mom had kindness coming out of her pores and is was sweet as perfume but stung her like the bee that came buzzing to the flower in search for that sweet aroma. I have grown up most of my life thinking about others but never to a point where I wanted to help in any which way. I always thought that what ever was ailing a person they brought it upon themselves but as time went on I learned better. I guess I am way too sensitive to the woes of life and it gets me every time and the weird thing is that I am seen as a BITCH for not letting people take advantage of me for the rest of my life. I bend over backwards for my friends (@ least I thought they were) and stood in the gap when they needed someone and typical human behavior they always want to get over on you. They come with no where to go, no food to eat and I say hey how I be of service? More like how can I allow you to use my ASS is what I should say! But the craziest thing about that is that I don’t have regrets nor would I change a thing. I am glad to be of service for I know that I don’t exist in a vacuum and I know that no MAN is an island. But that doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt to have persons turn their backs on me when I decided that I can’t lend myself to be used. I wish that I was sorry for not allowing you to let your fresh out of prison cousin to live with me (YOU KNOW WHO U R). Sorry for trying to help you when you need a place to stay and I didn’t charge you anything extra because you were my friend. I guess you would miss my friendship if you leave the keys with the next door neighbor. Funny how I never went away, I am the same MAN. I wish I was sorry for not being friends with you after you moved out my place and we agreed that we would split the bills a few weeks later because you needed to get on your feet (YOU KNOW WHO U R). Funny how you said YES that works then later told a mutual friend that you didn’t think that you should and you didn’t. Guess I am your BITCH and you F&CKED me and had coffee…NO WONDER MY ASS FEELS BLISTERED AND BRUISED…I wish I felt sorry for the fact that your MOM didn’t want you to be on your own and you proved it to me (YOU KNOW WHO U R). Damn you came to me all desperate and down on your luck and I said I would help you. Funny how when you left you gave me a parting gift then came back for it months later…HMMM I GUESS I SHOULDN’T HAVE F&CKED YOU FIRST…I wish that I felt sorry for the fact that YOUR mom and step dad didn’t want your ASS around them. How weird that your own family can’t stand you and it’s even weirder that I got to find out why (YOU KNOW WHO U R). You stole, lied and maybe commit murder (still waiting on the news on that one) all to have your way. You are selfish and don’t know what or how to be a good person. Funny how I don’t hate you, I feel sorry for you guess I did cared about you…HOW COULD I NOT? You gave good HEAD and your KISSES were always soft and tender…Funny though, your ass wasn’t tight…BUT ALL IN ALL I CAN SAY THAT I GAVE YOU WHAT YOU NEEDED WHEN YOU NEEDED IT, TO DAMN BAD YOU TOOK OTHER THINGS THAT YOU DIDN’T NEED…I KNOW ON SOME LEVEL YOU MUST KNOW THAT HURT ME AND THE CRAZY THING IS THAT YOU DIDN’T WAIT AROUND FOR ME TO SAY, ‘OUCH THAT HURTS!’


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