I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.

Followers

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

PONDER~ISMS...





THE FOLLOWING E-MAIL
WAS SENT FOR ME TO PONDER, SO NATURALLY I WANTED TO SHARE IT WITH YOU GUYS HERE
IN THE BLOG~SPHERE, HAPPY PONDERING.









I used to eat a lot
of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.


There are two kinds
of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.


Life is sexually
transmitted.


Healthy is merely
the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


The only difference
between a rut and a grave is the depth.


Health nuts are
going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.





Have you noticed
since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like
they used to?





Whenever I feel
blue, I start breathing again.





All of us could take
a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.





In the 60's, people
took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take
Prozac to make it normal.





How is it one
careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a
campfire?





Who was the first
person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and
drink whatever comes out'?





If Jimmy cracks corn
and no one cares, why is there a song about him?





Why does your OB-GYN
leave the room while you get undressed as if they are not going to look up
there anyway?





If quizzes are
quizzical, what are tests?





If corn oil is made
from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil
made from?





Do illiterate people
get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?





Does pushing the
elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?





Why doesn't glue
stick to the inside of the bottle?





Do you ever wonder
why you gave me your email address?


 











































I'M DREAMING OF A GAY X-MAS





I’m
dreaming of a gay Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know.





Where the treetops shimmer with rainbow glitter
And ev-ry fella had a beau.





Oh, I’m dreaming of a gay Christmas
With Every Streisand song I play.





And no matter which way you sway
I hope all your Christmases are gay. 



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