I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, October 21, 2010


1- Being too easy to please

The truth is that men LOVE compliments! We adore being told we’re hot, irresistible and look sexy. But throw out too many niceties too early on, laugh at all of our jokes (even when we both know they’re not funny), and always want to do what we want to do, and we’ll begin to think you’re being insincere. We’ll also think that you’re only trying to achieve one thing: to get into our pants. While that probably is your endgame, coming off like you have no opinion or spine instantly turns you into one of two things:the TOO-nice guy or the desperate gay man...and no man wants to date either. Instead, make us work for our compliments. We love a challenge and compliments go so much further when we feel we’ve actually earned them.

2- Being too focused on sex

We know you have an endgame with us. In fact, we’d be mightily insulted if you didn’t want to sleep with us after the first date! However, if you rush us or push us into a sex guilt-trip, we more than likely would give it up...then wonder whether you like us for our personality or for our assets. If you really like a guy and are interested in forming a long-lasting relationship with him, hold off on the pressure. 
3- Being possessive too soon
You know what it’s like: You’re sitting at home while your hot new boyfriend is still out drinking with a bunch of his friends. It’s getting late and since you haven’t heard from him for a couple of hours, you try to get hold of him. But you can’t. So you start obsessively calling, texting and stalking his Facebook page. Unfortunately, he’s not going to think it’s cute; he’s going to think it’s creepy. Wait for him to contact you and then listen and nod politely when he regales to you stories about his crazy antics from the night before. Even if you are growing green with envy over the fact that he was hanging with other men, you need to act like he’s entitled to have a life of his own. And if you do this, he’s going to want to spend even more time with you anyway.

4- You’re cheap

Even though we can pay our own bills and can afford our own expensive dinners(most days), we judge how much a man likes us by how often he pulls out his wallet. Sorry, that's just how it is! Of course you don’t have to take him to the snazziest place where a bottle of wine is more than the cost of your weekly rent, but taking him on a date where you pay for his meal (and don’t complain about it), will show him that you’re the sort of man who knows how to take care of a man. Believe it or not, some men are drawn to men who can protect and provide for them. While we’re happy to pay every third or fourth date, making us pay up too early sends signals to our brains that you’re not the sort of man we can have a future with.

5- Talking about exes

Though our brains are wired alike yours, we don't always thrive on competition. We don’t think it's the ultimate challenge to help you get over your ex (sometimes anyways) and get on top of us instead. On the contrary, many of us will actually shy away from you if you continue to tell us either how wonderful your ex was, how upset you are that he dumped you, how toxic your old relationship was, or how glad you are to finally be rid of him. Instead of being a turn-on, all this ex talk instantly screams that you have way too much baggage for our comfort levels. Not to mention the fact that it's boring for us to have a man whine on and on about a relationship that doesn't involve us. Get over it! 


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