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I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.

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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

ANGER IS HEALTHY...


Anger is healthy...Yet when we don’t go beneath the anger, to acknowledge the pain that is there we end up staying with the anger and often ending up directing it inwardly-as depression; or outwardly; as rage. Hurting ourselves, or re-creating the cycle on someone else. 

Most of us have not, and so much of this is about class, been exposed to or given tools with which to help us process our anger. Most of us have not even been offered the opportunity to express our rage and pain; we are so often silenced by communities and society. So today, I wanted to share some beliefs and ideas that help me with my anger and with not being bitter-with the hope that maybe one of them may be helpful to you. 

1) Check your perspective- Check the narratives you tell yourself about who you are. Are you kind to yourself? Or harsh? Do you berate yourself, or lift yourself with compassionate accountability? Do you forgive yourself for what you couldn’t do, didn’t know how to do, or weren’t able to do at the time? Do you see your relationships, failed or otherwise, as opportunities to learn and grow, or just spaces where you were "done wrong" as if you played no part in the chaos of it?
What decision did you make that created the situation, or the situations you are in now? How can u be accountable enough to let go?

2) Stop the comparisons- There is only one you. And if you were meant to look like, be like, be shaped like, and be smart like anyone else, well then you wouldn’t be you. And considering the divine creator of all this made you the way she/he/it did-then it must have thought you were damn good. And you are. YOU are your own standard!! There is no comparison. Comparison is a tool used by those with lack of imagination and disrespect the divine order. Like who you are. In fact, love who you are. How you look, and how you are, at whatever place you are, love yourself. And if you want to work on things about you-don’t start with judgment and hate, it doesn’t help. Your body responds and all you do is slow down your ability to shift. Be loving to yourself and the rest will follow. 

3) Face your fears- too many of us are held hostage by fear in our lives. We have created all these imaginary monsters that we think are going to have all these horrible things happen to us. Fear of following our dreams, fear of facing our truth, etc. Take the time to face your fears intelligently head on. Remember "Fear is faith in reverse."

4) Learn Yourself. Learn your wounds, your issues and challenges. And don’t just justify them-find a way to have a different relationship to them that does not hinder you in the present. Find a therapist, or a counselor. Except help from others. If you we were meant to do it all alone, or to figure it all out by yourself, god/goddess would have just dropped you on an isolated rock somewhere in a remote part of the galaxy as opposed to this rock which is actually teeming with people who can and would love to help you. Seek them out. 

5) Make your life what you desire; brick by brick: A large part of our reality is about interpretation. It's about how you choose to see what’s happening around you. We all witness the same phenomena everyday, and both have a totally different idea about what is happening. This "interpretation of reality" does not mean crazy shit won’t happen to you, or unfair shit won’t happen, it says instead that how you look at it makes a big difference in what you can learn!

6) S.I.N = Self Inflicted Nonsense: You were not born, nor are of evil or wrongdoing. You were born into circumstances and situations, systems and societies with ideas and beliefs that created a reality for the people who brought you here...Anything that happened to you is not a reflection of your worth, only a commentary on how the world is ignorant to your beauty and value as a human being. Don’t let their neglect become your own.

7) Trust that the relationship you need will find you; and celebrate the relationships you have. Too often we devalue our good friends, who, like lovers, are often our emotional supporters. We also can be self defeating in thinking that; I’ll never find someone, or there aint no good guys..yadda yadda. Let that talk go. Trust you deserve to have a partner that you love. 

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