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I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.

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Thursday, November 5, 2009

IN THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY: ¿DO LESBIANS EPITOMIZE THE HETERO-STEREOTYPE?






Was there ever a time when lesbians were just lesbians? In the homosexual community most HATE labels, but lesbians tend to use them so often and follow the attributes of such labels to the point where they imitate a heterosexual relationship in a lot of ways. I pose this question, because I’ve been wondering if we are SO stuck in our own stereotypes that we have a misconstrued idea of what a relationship actually is?

A relationship is two individuals who relate to each other and grow into whatever they want it to be. If two women choose to be in a relationship with each other, and one of them is perceived as masculine and the other feminine, shouldn’t we ask ourselves what EXACTLY is masculine and feminine? Moreover, shouldn’t we ask who decides what is masculine OR feminine? Aren’t you tired of likening such a relationship to that of one that is heterosexual? In their quest to feel normal, do they need to be like heterosexuals to validate their relationship?

That masculine/feminine energy that we feel is needed is the same reason why SO many of us can’t sustain worthwhile relationships because we keep questioning ourselves when we know who we are AND who we want to be with. Aren’t we doing enough harm to our community? Aren’t we creating a taboo within a taboo? Can we stop bashing each other to the point of no return?

I am not a lesbian, but I can safely say that part of being a lesbian is about having a sexual attraction to women. I don't know when the labels or types of lesbian women started, but when you're attracted to a woman, whether masculine/feminine, she is still a woman…RIGHT? There is NOTHING written in stone that anyone should place themselves in roles that control what they should be in the relationship. And if we are to ever have a CLEAR understanding of what should be in a lesbian relationship, let us REMEMBER that a man can NEVER be in a lesbian relationship!

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