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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

¿TRUST, CAN THERE EVER BE TOO MUCH?




So the other night I was having a chat on YIM with a guy that led me to write about this subject. Now before I start please let me say that I DON’T BELIEVE THERE IS SOMETHING AS TOO MUCH TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP! So back to what led me here…you see this guy and I chat often here and there, but he knows very little about me and he just found out about Noel. Of course he seemed shocked that I have a partner because I brought it up… (side note: if you don’t ask me anything in particular you won’t get to know things about me) crazy I know but it is how I go about things…Anyways he invited me over to his place to meet him and of course I asked him what were his intentions? He said that I was cool and that he wanted to meet me…Fine I thought no harm…no foul. So we made arrangements to meet this coming Friday (which I am going to ditch BTW) because Sunday past wasn’t working for me @ all and I don’t really like to socialize with persons that aren’t friends of mine through the week just like that. So of course he then asked, “what are you doing tonight?” I was like not a thing but resting God’s body. He then suggested that we meet up for a drink, I turned him because I don’t drink alcohol and furthermore it was like almost midnight. So he then asked me, “what would I leave my home for @ this hour?” I was like it wouldn’t be for you OR anyone else for that matter because I am NOT interested in anyone else. So he went back to our meeting this Friday and suggested that I bring Noel along…I was like well he wouldn’t here until the next day as he has been off the island for about 3 LONG ASS MONTHS! Ya think that gave him an opening? So I told Noel about his invite he was like okay whatever and just brushed it off like it was nothing. I was like it doesn’t bother you that I am going to meet some man? His response was, “nope I trust you,” and he should because I would NEVER do anything to hurt our union. But I did wonder if he trusts me TOO much? I mean I know that I trust him a hell of a lot but still the thought did cross my mind. And I thought about the trust we have for each other and I realized how bless I am to be with him because I get to live out the things I’ve always wanted with a man…





So back to the guy that led me to write this blog entry…before I say anything about him, I feel that I MUST admit that I understand what he was trying to do AND I feel sorry for him, but I wish he and others would believe me when I say, I HAVE A PARTNER! A PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE IS SCARED & SPECIAL…It isn’t like saying I have a boyfriend OR just a relationship…I HAVE PARTNERSHIP TAKES THINGS TO ANOTHER LEVEL…So how most gay men end like this anyways? How do they get to a point where they feel that your relationship doesn’t mean a thing and that all men will cheat anyways? When I sat back and thought about it, I realize that is all about SEX! Why is sex still all the rage nowadays? Everybody wants to be having it and they want it with whomever…wherever…While sexual bliss is all good and well, how does getting it with me make it SO exciting when I come with a relationship? My getting with anyone would mean that I am unfaithful, just about sex AND I can’t be trusted…I know those things pale in comparison with a man that is looking to get the change knock out of his purse but I couldn’t even if I wanted because my dick N’ ass belongs to Noel…I know how powerful and great sex can be, but it is even better when you have the kind of connection that Noel and I have. And no matter how many come my way, there is NOTHING I would do to take that away from me…NOTHING! 

I KNOW THAT THERE IS POWER IN NOEL TRUSTING ME & I HIM BECAUSE IT MAKES LOVE ALL THAT WE KNOW IT IS…I GET THAT TRUST CAN EASILY BE BROKEN & KEEPING THEM OFTEN PROVES MORE DIFFICULT BECAUSE WE FEEL THAT WE HAVE TO BE PERFECT WHEN WE DON’T. LOVE ISN’T ABOUT BEING PERFECT…IT JUST IS…& NO MAN SHOULD TRY TO LIVE UP TO SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T COMES NATURAL TO HIM WHEN HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER…IN MY RELATIONSHIP I TRUST MY SOUL WITH NOEL BECAUSE OUR LOVE COMPELS ME TO DO SO…(WHY ARE THERE TEARS IN MY EYES AS I WROTE THAT LINE?) I KNOW THAT IN ORDER FOR US TO BE COMPLETE, WE HAVE TO BE OPEN N’ HONEST WITH EACH OTHER…& THAT COMES FROM US HAVING TOO MUCH TRUST IN OUR RELATIONSHIP & EACH OTHER…WHICH PROVIDES US WITH AN ENVIRONMENT OF EMOTIONAL SAFETY, THAT CAN ONLY NURTURE A GREATER CLOSENESS THAT WILL GIVE US MANY HAPPY YEARS WITH EACH OTHER… 

LINKWITHIN

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