I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Monday, July 27, 2009


On this episode of True Blood, we learn more about Bill's history with Lorena, Sookie and Hugo attempt to infiltrate the Fellowship of the Sun, Tara and Eggs stumble upon more of Maryann's shenanigans and Sam and Daphne take their relationship to a whole new level.

BILL & LORENA: Eric has summoned Lorena, Bill's maker, apparently in an effort to bend cranky Bill to his will. Her presence triggers a flashback to Chicago in 1926. Playing the part of a French woman named Fabiane, Lorena is charming the pants off a boorish, nouveau-riche couple while her partner-in-glamoring, Guillaume (aka Bill), plays the piano and sings "Hard-Hearted Hannah" (subtitle: "The Vamp of Savannah"). It's a song made famous by Ella Fitzgerald, but Bill's Jazz Age rendition is also pretty sweet.

Bill and Lorena's seductions are successful, but instead of a hot fourgy, the vampire pair drains the poor couple so they can steal their house. And then Bill and Lorena do it in the resultant pool of blood….EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

SOOKIE & HUGO: Isabel volunteers her human boyfriend, Hugo to accompany Sookie on her mission to infiltrate the Fellowship of the Sun. This gives the pair the opportunity to chit-chat about the pros and cons of dating a vampire, but when Hugo brings up the subject of Isabel "turning" him, Sookie clams up.

They pose as Holly and Rufus, an engaged couple looking for a place to get married, and they're greeted by Sarah Newlin herself. "Aren't you just a cool breeze on a summer day?" Sarah coos when Sookie-as-Holly tells her she's cute as a button. Actually, before they meet, Sookie compares Sarah to vanilla pudding, but for my money I'd say she's more of a lemon meringue.

The Newlins (the Rev. joins them) show Sookie and Hugo the Light of Day Chapel, which is, indeed, full of light. Symbolically, it's there that Sookie sees the light by reading the Newlins' thoughts and figures out that they're up to no good, and are going to stake a 2,000-year-old vampire at sunrise.

But Rev. Newlin is doing some keen observation as well, because he's already on to Sookie and Hugo. He offers to show them his father's tomb in the basement, and soon enough, Drill Sergeant Gabe and the Rev. are forcing Sookie and Hugo down the stairs and into the darkness.

@ JESUS CAMP Meanwhile, Luke and an oblivious Jason have a special assignment from the Rev.: to build a platform for a Meet the Sun ceremony, in which a vampire is nailed to the cross and then an audience watches as he or she bursts into flames as the sun rises. Fun! The Newlins present it as some big honor, but it's kind of a pain in the butt to Jason, as his tiny brain is occupied still processing the close encounter he had with Sarah the night before. He asks Luke about abstinence, and concludes hilariously that it's the right choice for him.

Without knowing that his sister is now locked in the basement, Jason enters the church to tell the Newlins that the platform is done. Up in the balcony, Sarah is having a moment. You see, Steve is not just preparing an army to defend themselves against vampires; he's planning to start a war with vampires. "He's vicious and he's cruel and he uses the C word," Sarah says. She goes in for a kiss, but Jason is skeptical. "I was put here on Earth to be that great woman behind her great man," Sarah says. "I'm supposed to be with you. How can this be wrong if it's what God is commanding me to do?" And then of course they get BIZ-AY. I think we need one of those safety calendars like they have in factories that say, like, "16 Days Since Our Last Accident" for Jason's adventures in abstinence.

LAFAYETTE: Andy questions Lafayette about his disappearance. Andy is suspicious because since his return, Laf has "lost some of his pizzazz," and if he had gone on a gay cruise like he claims, he would have come back with more pizzazz. Laf is clearly spooked by his time in the dungeon, and sees Eric questioning him instead of Andy, which naturally freaks him out. Terry intervenes, scolds his cousin and reassures Laf. He even gives him a hug, telling him to imagine a "golden glowing ball radiating warmth."

Just when Laf thinks things are back to normal, Pam shows up at Merlotte's to inform him that he is back in business selling V. No explanation is forthcoming for why he should resume committing the very crime that got him in trouble with Eric in the first place, but I'm guessing it's some more Godric-related reconnaissance.

HOYT & JESSICA: Hoyt's mother, canceled his cell phone to prevent him from talking to Jessica, who calls at all hours of the night. Hoyt lets the vampire girlfriend out of the bag, and this makes Maxine clutch her pearls. Hoyt is so emboldened by this conversation that he drives all the way to Dallas apparently to see Jessica. It's a romantic moment for the pair, and it made me really root for them.

SAM & DAPHNE: Sam and Daphne are basking in the glow of sex on the pool table. He finally asks her about the scratches on her back, and she says that she never saw who or what did it to her, but she was sick for weeks. She changes the subject and asks Sam who knows he's a shifter. For a moment, I think it's nice that they have this odd backstory in common, but then I remember that I've already convinced myself that Daphne is totally evil, so I keep my emotions in check.

It's hard not to be charmed when Sam suggests they leave work, shape-shift and go "run and play." So they do, playing chicken with poor Andy Bellefleur's car. "I know that pig!" grunts Andy, when he sees Daphne's go-to shift toddling along with Sam-as-collie. Andy's mind is obviously reeling as he remembers all the other out-of-place pigs he's seen recently.

@ THE ORGY: Uh-oh, the water heater is broken at Chez Stackhouse, and Maryann is kind of cranky because both her shower and her coffee are cold. So Tara and Eggs have to leave to go pick up a part or something. Along the way, Eggs starts acting all medium-like, asking Tara to turn off the road at a diner built in an old red barn. This leads Eggs into a field to which he insists he has been. There are discarded clothes, an extinguished fire and a rock that appears to be caked in dried blood. It's disturbing that he can't remember when he was there, but then again, we've seen how the average Maryann party alters its attendees, right?

Eggs is shaken up, so they head back to Sookie's house, where a familiar scene is unfolding. The house is trashed, like there's been a party, and there's a trail of clothing leading out to a back field. There's a fire burning, Maryann is vibrating and — oh, right — everyone there is totally doing it, including Arlene and Terry.
Daphne apparently has a kinky streak because she is taking Sam to the orgy as well. But! Just when things start to get interesting — oh hey, there's Tara and Eggs with big black pupils doing it in the field as well! — Daphne has an announcement to make. "It's the end of the road," she tells Sam, and with that, she approaches Maryann and helps her put on her ceremonial bull head as she starts chanting in Greek and Karl brings over the ceremonial dagger. What do she and Maryann have in store for poor Sam?

What did you think of "Hard-Hearted Hannah"? Was it good to see Bill's evil streak? Do you think Jason will save his sister from Rev. Newlin? What do the vampires have in store for Lafayette? Are you rooting for Hoyt and Jessica? And what on earth could Maryann's possible endgame be for the people of Bon Temps?


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