I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Tuesday, June 2, 2009


One of the most beautiful qualities of an intimate relationship is the give and take of energy that occurs between two people. In the best-case scenario, both people share the talking and listening, and the giving and receiving of support, equally. Occasionally, within any relationship, the balance shifts and one person needs to listen more, or give more. Generally, over a long period of time, even this exception will take on a balanced rhythm; we all go through times when we take more and times when we give more. However, what happens when the relationship is one-sided where sex is concerned? 

A friend of mine and I were having a conversation the other day about his recent relationship and why it ended (damn I feel like I should pay him or something because two of most recent blog entries came from conversations with him…see them here and here). During our conversation he told me that he LOVED his ex VERY much and he knows that he feels the same about him and they both still see each other from time to time. I thought they were PERFECT for each other, but he assured me that they are not…It turns out that the man he wants to spend the rest of his live with has a MAJOR problem with being penetrated by him…Now here comes the dick N’ ass game of TOPBOTTOM or VERSATILEyou know the labels we give ourselves in order to know how we should have sex with each other? Does that make sense to you? 

I get why we take this approach ESPECIALLY if we are just hooking up, but in relationship that is going to that place we thought we couldn't reach, shouldn't we allow our feelings to guide us into the world of sex with that SPECIAL one? Why are some men SO concerned about who is going to do what and where? I find it VERY sad when something like this comes in the way of a relationship that has the potential to go very far, but experience has taught me that if a man can’t OR won’t let his partner penetrate him, his partner can’t AND won’t be satisfied in that relationship. Hence over time, the relationship will become be draining AND toxic, with the options of simply ending it OR letting it fade away…right?


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