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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

THE MEN YOU NEED TO WATCH OUT FOR…




I have to IDENTIFY the problems I’ve hearing about from men that seek men. It seems that NICE GAY MEN are catching something that they are unaware of, which is merely a case of getting a man that isn’t worth a damn. But don’t be alarmed as they only attach themselves to persons that don’t know to detect who they are before it is too late. So depending on the kind of man you have, you have determine the cure you need to take. So to help combat this pandemic, here is a list of the ten most common men to watch out for…


THE MARRIED MAN (THE MM): These secretly non-single men are the most common and the most deadly. They are very hard to spot and blend in with their surroundings. Symptoms are reflecting any questions about them back to you. Not going into details about their lives. They are VERY aloof and are FAMOUS for NOT being able to be reached when needed. The only cure known for type of man is to get rid of him ASAP. Cut contact as soon as you know as no matter how hard you try, they will never end their marriage for you. 


THE HOGGER: This type of man keeps you from your friends. He is paranoia and asks a lot of questions as apposed to the MM. this man is a serial dater, but has to know where you’ve been and with whom. They want to spend all their time with you and when you don’t he gets very defensive and lays the guilt on. To help combat the hugger, reassure him by taking him out with your friends to ease his mind. Remind him time apart is healthy. Otherwise you have to heave ho the HOGGER



THE SPENDER: He buys your love to keep you which shows a man that has a fear of losing your interest so he showers you with gifts. It may start with a bottle of wine on the first date @ a fancy restaurant. Flowers delivered to your job or home and after a while your bank balance hasn’t moved and yet your wardrobe is full of the latest styles. I know this sound like a dream man, but do you want someone to buy your love? Tell them to allow you to pay for things once in a while as balance is important to staying a couple. Otherwise ask them to be returned. Keeping the gifts is up to you…



THE FRESHMAN: Watch out for this newly out gay guy because it is his eagerness AND excitement that attracts you. He is brand new, hasn’t been used, isn’t tainted with cynicism by the scene…yet and all this can be QUITE refreshing. However I say you treat him like a butterfly, you capture, admire, play with and then set them free. This man won’t want to settle down so soon and it’s not fair to ask him too. He has to learn and to be given the chance to be cynical and tainted just like the rest of us.


THE HANDBAG: This is the incredibly vain man that doesn’t commit. He is just someone to hang off your arm, look good and get attention from the rest of the community that wish for a HANDBAG of their own. To foolishly try to make this accessory something permanent is simply madness because we all know that bags go out style with the seasons…So when contemplating a man such as this remember shallowness is only so deep….so if you want a man with a brain and a soul you don’t want this one…


THE LIAR: This truth extender knows just how to stretch the truth right before it pops into a lie. Straightforward symptoms are stores being blended from truth to fiction constantly, the bending of truth OR omitting parts of their story is their specialty. Honesty is the best policy and if you are open with yourself you’d stay far away from such a man. Note that their lies usually stem from a lack of confidence. Boost theirs by making a fuss over the real stories. If your ears keeping bleeding from fiction let them go and tell their tales elsewhere. 


THE GOSSIPER: He is the social butterfly that everyone knows. His scent hits the room long before he does and he seen as someone not to keep as a friend, but he doesn’t care about that. So if you go on a date with such a man please tell him know that it is nice to fill the silence with conversation, but you don’t need to hear about this N’ that about other people’s lives. So if he can’t keep a lid on it simply swat his ass and leave him for someone else to pick up.



THE LIFE SUCKER: This negative man complains about EVERYTHING! He’s the guy that when you first meet on a date will be complaining about the drinks being to expensive, the music’s too loud, it’s too crowded or he’s tried. He find faults in basically EVERYTHING! Surrounding yourself with a man like this will rub off on you and this is a VERY bad thing. Just listen to him speak when you have chance to meet him and if you hear more complaints than compliments, leave that half empty glass there and look for a man who has a glass that is half full so you can get a full drink.





THE HISTORIAN: This man pretty much lives in the land before time or seems like he does because he is only looking for a NEW relationship that is EXACTLY like his OLD one. Reminiscing on dates and comparing time with you to their exes is not the ingredients for fireworks. It is not right or fair on you and let us not talk about his mental health…Looking back with a man such as this will only will give them neck spasm AND poison what future you may have with each other. Tell him to keep the exes name to a minimum, start afresh with you, otherwise the next part of their past will be you…


THE WHITE KNIGHT: You know him MR. PERFECT! He is THE hardest one to catch as symptoms can vary from person to person and sadly we go through all the other only to find that he is covering up the fact that he is all of the other men on the list roll into one. There is no known cure, nor do we want one because he comes under the guise of being PRINCE CHARMING, MISTER WONDERFUL and FUTURE HUSBAND. Keep your eyes open for this one and if symptoms persist please see your local law enforcement and seek out their witness protection program.






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