I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.

Followers

Thursday, September 4, 2008

¿WHAT KINDA FRIEND R U?


There is NO crystal ball to predict that a particular friend will turn out to be a reliable, positive relationship in your life or, by contrast, that a negative association will cause you emotional distress, or worse. Since destructive or negative friends are not always that easy to spot, being forewarned is forearmed, as the saying goes. Some friends may be betrayers from the start; others may turn into betrayers because of what's going on in their lives or because of changes in their personality. So one needs to consider what a friend really is and here are 6 type of friends NOT to have in your life…


  1. THE PROMISE BREAKER – This friend constantly disappoints you OR breaks promises, most likely because he/she was constantly disappointed during her formative years. Hence this person is UNABLE to stop themselves from repeating this pattern. It is an annoying but comfortable pattern for them and without psychological help, it may be hard for her or him to alter this pattern. You could abandon the friend and the friendship, OR you could find a way to detach yourself by lowering your expectations for this friendship. THE CHOICE IS YOURS…
  2. THE DOUBLE-CROSSER – This negative friend betrays you BIG time. It could happen when someone does something to hurt you, such as spreading a malicious rumor about you. Or it could be an emotional double-cross; for example, when a close OR best friend stops speaking to you and you never find out why. This person OBVIOUSLY has REAL emotional issues that need to be addressed. You can drop this person, but do it in a low-key way so you can avoid the wrath of THE DOUBLE-CROSSER. YOU DON’T WANT TO BE A VICTIM…
  3. THE SELF-ABSORBED – Certainly this individual is tamed. However, over the long haul, a friend who does not make the time to listen to you will eat away at your self-esteem. For you to feel good about yourself, and for your friendship to thrive, you have to be more than a sounding board. The Self-absorbed does not care; he/she listens to you only because she is waiting to speak. Though this person appears to have it all together, they more than like do NOT. They chatter as a way of covering up an inability to tolerate silence because they find it EXCRUCIATING to hear their thoughts. So either ask that friend to try to become more aware OR just stop listening to them OR find another friend.
  4. THE DISCLOSER - When you say to this friend, "This is just between us," he/she nods their head, that promise will last only as long as it takes her to get to her phone OR e-mail. Although there should be an assumption of confidentiality and trust between friends, this friend can't help himself. It is all about being relative AND important and who needs that kind of friend? The only thing that will happen is that they will get a reputation for being a gossip and you know they say about birds of feather. SO DISCLOSE @ YOUR OWN RISK…
  5. THE COMPETITOR – A little bit of competition is healthy and to be expected. An appropriate amount of competition will motivate and stimulate. But too much competition between friends starts to destroy the friendship. One of the primary ingredients in a positive friendship is that one OR both friends feel that they can be "themselves" and that they don't have to put on airs or impress one another. Competition implies a race in which one wins and the other loses; those conditions are quite the opposite of what someone typically expects in a positive friendship, especially a close or best one. REMEMBER, friends who are competitors probably compete in every area of their lives and find it difficult or impossible to ease up even when it comes to close or best friends. They may compete at work, at school, and even in community affairs. They may be in competition with their spouses or romantic partners, or even with their parents or their children, The Competitor may find this distinctive personality trait hard or impossible to change or eradicate.
  6. THE FAULT-FINDER - Nothing you do, say, or wear is good enough for this overly critical friend. The Fault-finder was probably raised by extremely judgmental parents who were also rearing equally hypercritical siblings. Being criticized during ones formative year will make an OVERLY critical adult. It's a hard trait to reverse, and this friend may even be unaware that they are this way. But before labeling this type of friendship as hopelessly destructive, you might want to see if your friend could recognize this excessively derogatory behavior and, with time and help, change that orientation.
SO ACCORDING TO THE INFORMATION ABOVE, WHAT SIDE OF THE FRIENDSHIP ARE YOU ON? ARE YOU THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO BE DUMPED? IF SO THEN YOU HAVE SOMETHINGS TO THINK ABOUT. HOWEVER, IF YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS HAS TO DO THE DUMPING, YOU MUST ACT QUICK BECAUSE THE LONGER YOU WAIT, THE HARDER IT'LL BE...




LINKWITHIN

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...