I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.

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Thursday, August 28, 2008

I DON'T UNDERSTAND





I DON’T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE! Can someone tell me how a relationship can be fine one minute then change in a second? I ask this question because I was having a chat session with someone that I thought I could call a friend, but it turned out that he is just a mere acquaintance. Our chat session began with the normal pleasantries…the hellos and well wishes were exchanged; but they were replaced by questions AND bewilderment on my part. What started out so innocent quickly made me realize that I was having a conversation with someone that has obviously stayed away from because they didn’t get the outcome they desired where I was concerned. I don’t know about anyone else, but I was taught that if two persons were to go a journey they BOTH have to want it. Nevertheless, he is here asking me how my room-mate was doing when in fact he has his cell number and could send him a text and find out…but if he does that, that means that he is somehow he is tapping into my world and that would be terrible. RIGHT? I was just being a friend and he wanted something more, but his heart wasn’t in it and my heart wanted someone else. This situation QUICKLY reminded me of the persons that I’ve met that I NO longer have day-to-day contact with and it saddens me. Why is that if one doesn’t get what he OR she feels they should, they just distance themselves? Everyone say they want friendship, love AND acceptance but it turns out that they don’t. So when I point that out I end up being the boy on the playground that the other kids avoid. I know there is NO crystal ball to predict how things will turn out; but I have to wonder if somehow I am meant to be alone? I get that there are some people that will come along in life and stay for a while but I can’t help but wonder why that is? I can only wonder why we make friends, have family members OR fall in love to have to walk away from those relationships. And I can’t help but feel angry AND disappointed because of the silly notion that I am meeting folks that would somehow turn the community around. Foolish of me believed that as the world evolves, humanity is learning to work from the heart. I guess some child-like things never leave us huh? If only we realize that the expectations society ask of us are NOT what we need. It is ONLY when we are spiritual beings we can be free and NOT feel bound by the superficiality of this world. AS OF LATE I HAVE DECIDED TO CHOOSE TRUE CONNECTIONS & TAKE A SELFISH ATTITUDE WHEN IT COMES TO MY LIFE. I HAVE DECIDED TO PUT ME FIRST! THE FOLKS THAT I MEET TAKE SO MUCH OUT OF ME & LEAVE ME FEELING HALF OF WHAT I AM. MY EYE IS ON THE BIGGER PICTURE & I CAN’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS DO OR SAY. THOUGH I MAKE THIS PROMISE TO MYSELF, I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND…

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