I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008


so many of us get all excited AND caught up in meeting someone new via the internet. While this is a fun AND interesting thing, it can also be VERY dangerous. Way too many of us got hurt, raped AND robbed by men that turned out to be what they were not. So here are a few tips on how to navigate such treachery waters.

CRAWL BEFORE YOU WALK – Take things very slowly while chatting online with a stranger. Take time to get to know the person and ask as many detailed questions as possible before committing to meet. Sometimes the person on the other end of the computer may not be who they say they are. Watch for inconsistencies or strange behavior. If you see any warning signs or just have a bad feeling about the situation, don't continue to chat with the person. Better safe than sorry!

PROTECT YOUR IDENTITY & PERSONAL INFORMATION – For your own protection, never disclose any personal information that a stranger could use to possibly take advantage of you. It's not necessary to always use a fake name, but be weary of giving out your address, place of work or other sensitive information.

LEAVE A TRAIL – It only takes one incident to put you in harm's way. Should something happen on a blind date or net hookup, you can greatly assist the proper authorities by leaving a log of where you're traveling or telling a good friend the exact location of your trip. When sending the message via text OR e-mail please ensure that include the date’s screen name, description, picture and/or address. This may seem cumbersome or over-protective, but your safety is well worth a few seconds of your time.

GET A PHOTO – Prior to meeting, be sure to get a photo of your date. Ask as many detailed questions about the picture as possible, including the date it was taken. Save the picture in an accessible place on your computer.

TALK ON THE PHONE FIRST – There’s nothing wrong with having a conversation before meeting blindly. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they communicate. You don't have to be psychic to get a bad feeling after the conversation or to realize that you may not be a good match after all.

MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE – Picking a mutually comfortable meeting place alleviates tension and gives you an out should you feel uncomfortable. Meet in a public place with many people in the surrounding area.

MAP AN ESCAPE ROUTE – After your meeting, take a route other than your normal path should he attempt to follow you without our consent or mean you harm.

KNOW HIS SEXUAL HISTORY – The best way to protect your body (remember HIV and Syphilis are still alive and well) is to know the status of your sexual partner. Some men lie about their HIV status. Warning signs are refusal to answer the question, ambiguity about the date of their last STD tests, ambiguity about the number of partners they've been with, and willingness to have sex without a condom among others. Protect yourself by assuming your partner is positive until proven otherwise.

NEVER WALK IN A DARK APARTMENT OR HOUSE – If you can’t see, you can’t secure your safety; also trust your instincts and go with you gut. If it doesn’t feel right, usually it isn’t, hold off thinking with your other head.

CARRY SOME INSURANCE – Bring something like a knife or pepper spray so that you can easily use it to fight for your life. Things happen so fast and there is but a split second between life and death, make sure you walk away with yours.


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