I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.

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Saturday, June 21, 2008

THE IN BETWEEN


I followed the script, took my time and waited for him…now that he is here I have to learn to LOVE him in THE IN BETWEEN… I am safe and secure with who I am and my relationship with him. I feel that we are beyond the anxieties of wondering if we want to be with each other OR spend the rest of lives together…and I am NOT trying to make him into someone else to suit my purpose. I ALWAYS knew that a life without challenge would be like going to school without lessons to learn; and that surely is what I am going on in our relationship right now. However, I feel that challenges come not to depress or get one down, but to master and to grow and to unfold our abilities. It takes a lot of work to hold 2 people together. I'm the straight-to-the-point, honest lover, while he is the stubborn and emotional one; and when we argue it gets really intense. One would think that after the day I had that I would be VERY afraid of getting married to him this fall, but I am NOT! YES, we are different, but as long as he knows I LOVE him and he LOVES me there is NOTHING we can say OR do to each other to change how feel about each other. I AM THAT TOUGH ASS MAN THAT LIKES A STRONG ASS MAN THAT CAN TOLERATE MY SHIT! Though he makes me so mad I know that I am LUCKY as hell AND I wouldn’t trade his LOVING, STRONG, SHORT, WILLFUL ASS IN FOR ANYONE ELSE. I know he LOVES the fact that I challenge and promote our relationship…YOU KNOW THAT’S HARD FOR US GAY MEN TO DO IN THESE TRYING TIMES. It has been said that, “one does not discover the heart of a man if one has not sent him on a mission;” and he is my mission. He is the ONE that I have been waiting for all my life and I just have to remember that I LOVE him in THE IN BETWEEN…I HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT WE HAVE TO WORK @ KEEPING OUR RELATIONSHIP ON TRACK…WE ARE DIFFERENT & THAT’S WHAT BROUGHT US TO EACH OTHER & THE TRUE COMMITMENT THAT WE SEEK IS SO DOABLE, BUT WE HAVE TO WANT IT. FOR ME LOVE MEANS THAT WE BRING OUT THE BEST & WORST QUALITIES WITHIN EACH OTHER & THAT IS FINE. I FIND THAT IF WE ARE WILLING TO WORK THINGS OUT, IT DOES NOT SHOW A SIGN OF MATURITY, IT SHOWS THAT LOVE KEEPS US.

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