I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Wednesday, March 19, 2008


For as long as I can remember the concept of RELATIONS peaked my curiosity. I was ALWAYS caught up in the dynamics of RELATIONS and how they work. It is said that, A RELATIONSHIP IS A SPECIFIC CONNECTION BETWEEN OBJECTS, ENTITIES OR CONCEPTS. Though the more typical form of RELATIONSHIPS are SOCIAL, the PERSONAL, INTIMATE & CAUSAL ones the more important to me. Successful, healthy RELATIONSHIPS are essential for fulfilling, stress-free lives they say. However there are SO many of us that do NOT know how RELATIONSHIPS work AND the significant role the play in the lives of everyone on this planet. AS A GAY MAN IT IS MY PERSONAL VIEW THAT AS SOON AS WE FULLY COMPREHEND THE IMPORTANCE OF A RELATIONSHIP, THE SOONER WE CAN GET THIS WORLD WHERE IT OUGHT TO BE.
  1. SO LET’S START WITH THE FAMILY – Understanding the concept of RELATIONSHIPS should start from the home, in this event one can fully examine AND recognize how they relate to world AND it to them. I find that the foundation of one’s home should be the STRONGEST of any RELATIONSHIP. A stable family RELATIONSHIP unifies the community AND make for an unyielding society. Nonetheless, today’s society family RELATIONSHIP leaves A LOT to be desired. The breakdown of the family is a TRAGEDY, one has to look @ the VIOLENCE and PAIN that strikes us every single day and take note of how the one RELATIONSHIP that should be in tact is NOT! For far too long we have been looking beyond the problem AND carry on with lives that should make one hang his head in shame, but that is far from where we are…SO FAR! The quality of the RELATIONSHIP between MOTHER, FATHER, SISTER, BROTHER, AUNT, UNCLE, COUSINS & GRANDPARENTS have a real impact on the RELATIONSHIP of the family.
  2. IN THE COMMUNITY – There are many RELATIONSHIPS that are affected by the breakdown of the family and these have long-term AND dire effects. Poverty and homelessness is a HUGE draw back of this fact. Research has found that the family break up is cited as one of the critical causes of poverty. Within the school structure there are a number of social ills that plague the system and they range from ASSERTIVENESS, SELF ESTEEM, SEX, STRESS & CONFLICT. There seems to be NO peer listening schemes that are aimed to get the children involved in getting on better and improving their RELATIONSHIPS with one another. HOW CAN THIS BE FIXED? FIRST WE NEED TO GET TO THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM & FIX THE RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS DESTROYED FROM THE BEGINNING. The prison system will FOREVER be what it is because NO one cares AND there is no REAL rehabilitative method in place. Moreover, NO one seems to care. SO WHO IS THE BLAME FOR THIS? If only we could build a programme that links with the community AND foster the empowerment of the family RELATIONSHIP that is in the best interest of all. HOWEVER, I BELIEVE THAT RELATIONSHIP SKILLS CAN BE LEARNT & IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO FIX THINGS.
  3. LET’S GET INTIMATE – When we first fall in love we spend as much time that our physicality allows. Time together is, to a RELATIONSHIP, what water is, to a plant. It's how a relationship is nurtured and cared for. It's the stuff that makes it stronger AND helps it to grow. It is FAIR to assume that life is about give AND take, so an intimate RELATIONSHIP should not be any different. HOWEVER IT IS! As children many of us did NOT learn this concept AND this presents the problem. I find that there are a lot of UNHEALTHY elements within REALATIONS that boarder on DISRESPECT, CONTROL & ABUSE. Though many of this created mostly out of physicality, the majority of it is emotional. The STRANGE thing about this is that most of us grew up around this kind of behavior and it can almost seem normal or not…& IT IS NOT! Qualities like kindness AND respect are absolute requirements for an intimate RELATIONSHIP. Think about this, HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT MOST INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT LAST VERY LONG? Yes intimate RELATIONSHIPS can be one of the best AND most challenging part of our world it is this way because it is the MOST the important as it reflects how we are as adults.


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