I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Sunday, November 25, 2007


I have just started dating and there are some signs that he could be someone that I can be with for the long haul. Now the thing is that things are new and I am aware that as human beings we have the tendency to be all caught up in love and not LOVE. However, if I feel that this love can blossom into LOVE then why should follow some RULES and take my chances on hindering that? For the first time in as long as I can remember, I have met a MAN that makes me SMILE from inside out. I feel that I am with someone that is in safe place where LOVE can actually go beyond itself. This is such a GREAT feeling for me because for far too long I have been cynical about love and it took my getting my heart broken to realize that. Therefore, I have decided that I am NOT following any RULES because they cause more harm than good…I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY I LOVE YOU WHEN I FEEL IT. I WANT TO SAY I WANT YOU NEAR ME WHEN I FEEL IT. I WANT TO SAY KISS FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN TO KISS ME WHEN I FEEL IT. However, being a mere human I understand the reasons why these RULES exist. And though we are NOT perfect, I feel that LOVE should make us PERFECT for each other. If only we could ACCEPT that love ends because could NOT grow into LOVE. Hence, the intricate web of factors that has contributed to the demise of love should be treated as a learning experience and NOT the be all and end all. Placing RULES upon our hearts prevents us from getting to the TRUE core of ourselves. How can we NOT see that when WE LOVE and not love to help us grow? So to allow some RULES to get in the way of that just do not make any sense. If one follows a RULE that stipulates that one should NOT say I LOVE YOU a certain amount of time has passed, isn’t that gradually turning up the heat on an already brewing pot that will boil over and leave a mess everywhere? Following RULES when it comes to LOVE can cause one to miss the ONE that could have brought HAPPINESS and the WHOLENESS you seek. Our logic AND reason should dictate that LOVE has no timeline AND cannot be manipulated. It is my personal feeling that if I hold back on my love for someone then I already know that we cannot ever end up with LOVE for each other. Hence, the RULES of LOVE make no sense and causes a sense of FEAR for NO legitimate reason. Therefore, we just go along with the program AND pray that it will work out…WHAT A F&CK UP WAY TO LIVE! HOW CAN WE BRAVE THE ELEMENTS OF THIS PLANET & RISE UP AS THE DOMINANT SPECIES & CRIPPLE OURSELVES WITH RULES? WHY CAN’T WE BE BRAVE & SAY F&CK THE RULES? I CANNOT DO MYSELF ANY KIND OF INJUSTICE SO I WILL LIVE EVERYDAY THANKING GOD FOR A SOUL THAT FEELS FREE TO ENJOY THE ONE THING THAT SUPPOSE TO COME WITHOUT REGULATORS. THE RULES SIMPLY EXIST TO SHOW US THAT WE ARE SEEKING love & NOT LOVE & IT IS SO SAD THAT WE ARE JUST TOUCHING THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG. WE ARE NOT GETTING A TASTE OF WHAT LOVE HAS TO OFFER. WE NEED TO RECOGNIZE THAT IF WE REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT LOVE WE CANNOT FALL & PLAY IT CAUTIOUSLY. LOVE IS JOURNEY NOT A DESTINATION & THE RULES JUST MAKE LIFE TAXING. I AM AWARE THAT WE LEARN ABOUT LOVE BY TRIAL & ERROR, BUT PLACING RULES IN THE MIX WILL BREAK US. IF ONE CAN FOLLOW SOME RULE WHEN THEY ARE WITH ANOTHER THEN I SAY KEEP ON THAT PATH, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT HE IS NOT THAT SPECIAL ONE THAT CAUSES YOUR HEART TO SKIP A BEAT & STIR FEELINGS SO DEEP WITHIN THAT YOU ARE NOT AFRAID TO ALLOW THE RULES TO RULE.


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