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I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.

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Saturday, August 4, 2007

THE AGE~LESS DATIN(G)AME


SOME SAY THAT AGE IS JUST A NUMBER, IT JUST ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL. Nonetheless, in the GAME of DATING I think that this concept wears itself very thin and can do more harm than good. Within the GAY COMMUNITY there are persons that seek relationships with others that are not in the same age bracket and the difference have adverse effects thus hurting the relationship. In my opinion, LIFE is all about the JOURNEY and having that SPECIAL someone along with you; STEP by STEP, SIDE by SIDE. Now tell me what happens when one has passed a certain point on the road and the other has yet been afforded the time to get there? I know that you do not have to have an AGE difference to come to this conclusion, but it is almost a guaranteed fact that this will more than likely be the result of such a union. Too many times these unions have negative effects because they are not seen for what they really are and this is where the REAL problem lies. OUR COMMUNITY far too often bases itself on LOOKS, MONEY and POSSESSIONS leading to things that do no one justice. We date base on SHORT-TERM rather than LONG-TERM goals. We fall in the trap of bathing ourselves in the FOUNTAIN of YOUTH thinking that we can get someone that is younger proving that you still have it going on. Many gay men feel that younger is better, but reality dictates that dating should be based on tangible things in order to survive. It is so SAD that ultimately the HAPPIER, OLDER and SECURE you do not take precedence in this game. When OLDER gay men refuse or consider dating someone that is near their age it says a lot about MATURITY and ACCEPTANCE. Equally it is a sad affair that OLDER men are seen as the SUGAR DADDY and the FINANCER opening themselves up to be used and taken for a ride or two. Today, gay men are coming out at younger ages. It is no longer a shock to hear of an openly gay 14-year-old or a 16-year-old in a gay relationship. It is open season and the community just indulges themselves. From my observation, OLDER men tend to be more relaxed and comfortable, whereas YOUNGER men tend to be more sociable and lost. It is my belief that many YOUNG gay men date OLDER because they feel that they can get the financial support; I wonder if they thought how much of good thing it is to have someone that has been there and are through with the games. Instead we a situation that just base itself on I WANT THIS n THAT without questions being asked. In this sort of situation, the younger person is in charge and has the older person wrapped around his finger. I firmly believe that does causes older gay men not to date younger people because they are too IMMATURE and are at the part in their lives where they are still SOWING THEIR WILD OATS. This GAME use to have me stuck in neutral but I have come to understand that it can only work if the two persons involved are sure they are together for ALL the right reasons. Being in MAY/DECEMBER relationship is not necessarily problematic, as long as there is sufficient equality. Too many times these relationships are based on SEXUAL CHEMISTRY and not HUMAN CHEMISTRY.

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