I have sat and thought about this life and I am tryin to decifer when or where the breaking point is; I am trying find out if we need a YARD STICK or RULE OF THUMB to go by as we naviate this world. I asked myself and others if they felt that HOMOSEXUALITY has it’s very own cost. I have asked how does one live in a world that offers no relief? I have asked HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH? Now first of all, I am not talking about the various things others see about HOMOSEXUAL MEN and WOMEN, rather I am referring to the toll that this life places on each one of us. As a community we have a difficulty on agreeing on who we are as MEN and WOMEN who have sex with the same gender. Hence, this is where the problem begins, if we cannot identify ourselves as GAY or SAME-GENDER-LOVING as GOD intended then we have incur the ULTIMATE COST. Whether or not we believe in the notion that suggests that WE WERE BORN GAY; we have denied OUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE. We are doctors, beauticians, lawyers, schoolteachers, accountants, drag queens, pastors etc. So why can’t we transform this energy into every part of our lives? We allow the world force us into a life of indecision and uncertainty. Sadly, this is when HOMOSEXUALITY becomes too much and we just accept because this is what we do. How much will it cost us to rebuild and get OUR COMMUNITY to the place it should be? We have LOST many SOLDIERS in the BATTLE of EQUALITY and no real significant strides have been made about our feelings of disconnection and displacement. We are left with the scraps that life hands out forcing us to slash our wrists and swallow a ton of pills in preparation to leave this planet. There is a constant battle within and it costs us everyday in every way, and yet we do nothing about it while this dehumanizing depression darkens everything. WE WERE BORN AS OUTSIDERS…FEELING LEFT OF THE MIDDLE…SO WHY NOT DARE OURSELVES TO MOVE? WHY DO WE CONTINUE TO SUFFER THE COST? I personally feel that we are hard press for EQUALITY, but I feel that we straddle the fence too long. On one side there's wanting to accpeted and the other wanting to not give a F&CK. This doesn’t make sense because WE are letting OURSELVES down and WE become OUR OWN WORST ENEMY. WE CANNOT BE AFRAID AND WEAK TO GET WHAT WE DESERVE, IT PAINS ME TO THINK THAT WE ARE FIGHTING FOR SOMETHING THAT WE NEVER GAVE AWAY…IT WAS TAKEN FROM US! IF WE DON’T FREE OURSELVES FROM THIS DOOM AND GLOOM MIND-SET WE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO ESTABLISH OUR EXISTENCE ON ORGANIC AND STABLE LAND.