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I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.

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Friday, November 3, 2006

¿R TOPS SELFISH?

















I have constantly found this "homosexual lifestyle" an enigma. Many are not what they appear or say to be. Are labels (top/bottom) limiting your sexual fulfillment and is it actually selfish to want only one thing? I have been questioning myself that for years. I myself am a versatile individual and feel that expressions of love or affection should be gratifying for both parties in whatever capacity that may be. I also feel that true intimacy is giving of oneself along with receiving from what the other party is sharing.







I find that people that put themselves in a category may have a tendency to TAKE and not really interested in giving. I do understand there are levels that one is willing to share sexually depending on the situation, whether it is a one night stand, just dating, or a full relationship. Are we in fact choosing roles because of what we feel is missing in our lives ( i.e. total bottoms having the need to be subservient or wanting to please a dominant male figure that was missing…or could it be self-deprecation) Or maybe we choose or prefer the dominant role (i.e. top because this is a way of holding on to your manhood, or you have been hurt before and won't let someone top you again. Or maybe you found it painful and you refuse to do it again even though your partner has given themselves to you)



I notice when the question comes about and a man is asked are you top or bottom, many men are VERY adamant and make sure you know under no uncertain terms do they get "topped". Many times men who are bottoms are looked at as "pussy boys" or "bitches". Why is that? I think it's because we put labels on sexual position instead of it merely being a matter of what someone enjoys sexually. They are there to please the top…to serve him. I know that there are some beautiful brothers out there that really want to please a "bottom". But they are becoming more and more becoming extinct.




I often wonder if we are caught up in this fantasy of the way a partner should be (we as men tend to fantasize about idyllic situations that aren't always practical) It appears that whether straight or gay, many men tend to think they are hot shit in bed. A lot of this comes from the other party being afraid to hurt the others EGO. How many times have we heard this "I haven't had any complaints"…lol. Did you ever think that maybe the night you thought was hot will never happened again cause you didn't really satisfy your partner? I know I threw some thoughts at you. I am interested in seeing the responses. Let the floodgates open…LOL

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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