I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Sunday, September 24, 2006


I DEFY THE GAY STEREOTYPE! I AM 'THE GAY LADY'S MAN' I am open, honest and up front. Over the years of living this life I've met many females, most are clueless and dumb founded by this ‘lifestyle.’ I have come to realize that WOMEN in our society perpetuate the HOMOPHOBIA we mostly see around us. Think about it...MEN are afraid to appear soft or give compliments to another MAN, even though women do it all the time...FUCKED UP I know.

However it's a fact of life and here in the Bahamas the HOMOSEXUALS OR SISSIES as they call us are the worst things any man could be. This is terrifying to MEN in society at large, so I had this crazy notion that if I can show the world one female at a time that we are not what the world makes us out to be, we are in fact important to the survival of the world. They know that if there were a typical gay man (and they know there isn’t any) they would expect that man to be what they can control and put in a certain category of society. Yes, there are those in our midst who are self-destructive, who make headlines, who appears not to have 12 brain cells left. But they are NOT the norm. The norm is the gay couple she encounters while shopping at the supermarket, arguing over what to cook for dinner on Sunday. The norm is the gay male that works full-time, lives with a roommate, and is working towards his C. P. A. 

I am of the opinion that every female should have a gay male friend or roommate in her life. No one else will be able to make you laugh, cry, or wonder; no one else will make you want to hug him one minute and then shake your head at him the next. Who else will spend five minutes deciding which pair of shoes is best from the five he has in his closet? Who else will know what movie to see or what play is hot right now? Who else will know everything going on in the neighborhood? The ladies love gay men because we survive and thrive. We take what society has thrown at us and learn how to adapt. We had to develop a sense of self early on in life because there were no role models, no outside guidance to help shape who we are as men. I don’t know about a lot of gay men, but figured it out for myself, and developed a unique and wonderful existence.

I am secure enough to work 9 to 5 and then come home and throw on a tight pair of jeans and shirt and head to the local GAY BAR. I am able to cross lines quickly and effortlessly because growing up I felt already on the outside of what was normal. I got to, and get to, redefine what it is to be a normal man. I incorporate things masculine and things feminine all in one--caring with strength, compassion with male arrogance, blatant sexuality with the need for emotional connection--all wrapped up in a package that usually far more put together than that of their heterosexual counterparts. Yes, the ladies love me/us and I LOVE being a gay man! If we weren’t gay, they would never been able to LOVE AND MAKE LOVE TO THEIR HUSBANDS, BOYFRIENDS ETC. & THAT WOULD BE A TRAGIC SHAME! I feel that through the power of the bond that we have with these ladies that we can strip down the politics, the pride, the hype and hoopla and remember what it is we love most, why we’re fighting the battles, why we’re trying to win the war. Being gay has been so politicized, so scrutinized, so sterilized at times, that many forget what being gay is all about. I FEEL THAT WE ALL SHOULD TRY TO BECOME A GAY LADY'S MAN.


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