I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, July 27, 2006


Nobody seems to likes homosexuals…it’s always open season on the same sex prone crowd. They consider our ‘UNIQUENESS’ strange, our language foreign. Our confidence is seen as ignorant; laughing at our heart’s defeat because we are living a life that isn’t meant to be. We are living an accidental existence whose intelligence is down graded. We make them question things they can’t understand about themselves which they can’t internalize because it’s too scary in there. Pride for our sexuality makes us ‘TOO GAY’ yet; we can only be what we are meant to be. And, who are we you might ask? We are that STRONG HUMAN BEING who stands tall, with an erect spine pointing to the stars. We are here to show the world that not only do we possess the ability to play by the rules; we can make them as well.
I was five years old when I knew I liked boys; it was so comforting, so easy, so pure…so right. I liked playing cowboys n’ Indians with my best friends so naturally I was the Indian and naturally I will always allow myself to be captured knowing that I will have my hands placed firmly behind my back with my best friend breathing heavily on my neck with his penis placed right on my ass. Oh God how I loved that feeling! Growing up I was always told that I was be killed if I turned out to be gay. I smile at that notion now because I know that I didn’t turn out to be gay, gay is who I am, gay is who I am meant to be, gay is who I choose to be.
Do you think that they realize that there’s such a strong archetype for a MAN that is gay? How could it not? Think about it…It's that hidden self, that secret self, that part of his being that isn’t defined by secrets or sexuality…But by the heart. We are those ‘SPECIAL’ persons that know about dealing with the internal and the external whether we want to or not; we have no other choice. We know that we soothe the spirit of turmoil and purge the crippleness of self-hatred. We have to puke out the mess for all to see and destroy the very human need to classify and label. We are naturally this way because when you are outcast it brings closer to God; we walk the path that Jesus walked. We are praised as long as we don’t claim who we truly are and literally crucified when we make our GAY PROCLAMATION!
I am a man first and a homosexual second, I am not defined by who I exercise my right to copulate with; the rest of the world don’t so why should I? As a same gender loving man, I am oppressed. As a man, I have been shunned, abused and rendered invisible for being same sex prone. From the cradle I was made to understand…From society at large and too frequently, my own family that the man I am wrong and unacceptable. This is relentless denial of our humanity, our GOD POTENTIAL and right we have to live a life we so wish. If we are made in GOD’S image why would we have retreated from large portions of ourselves? So, we won’t internalize this supposing christian model of experience that made us see ‘homophobia’ as ‘right.’ We won’t internalize this culture’s homophobia and ignorance that tries to make us believe that we are invalid. How can you make me hate myself for tapping into my female energies? It took both a MAN & WOMAN to create me so naturally I will find my balance.
We should rejoice in being the people that we are. We are the honorable image of mankind…The defiant ones, the ones that refuse to be anything other than what is natural to us. We are the root, stability and resilience of the whole being. There is value placed on use that makes those that can’t deal with themselves feel like they are the strange ones. So naturally it makes sense to make us look like we are not what life is suppose to be about. Even though we are classified as the epitome of God’s abomination; we are not going away. Our uniqueness as same gender loving group of persons makes us the WITCHES & GATE-KEEPERS to the next world.
We are the world’s rebirth; we carry with us the sense of hope and renewal. We are the sun the start of each new day, we are that first sliver of dawn paints the horizon, gradually spreading our color. We illuminate the world, inspiring birds to song and the change of each season. I am afraid because if we are not embraced before we fade life itself will be lost, we are the homage to temporary-permanence…We are going to be the LAST GROUP OF PEOPLE STANDING. We are surrounded by deep water and the world is trying to drown us. But we refuse to give up and we will keep our head above water; our purpose on this planet is too important.
So as you try make us bargain with God, asking him to change things that we cannot, asking him to destroy what we agreed to before entering this planet, asking him not to try us for another day…We know better, we know that life isn’t only what happens here but what occurs after…So as we beg and plead for just one more stay, God listens to us as we cry out in pain and confusion. He reassures us that there exist restrictions to a force, that even the most powerful may apply without destroying themselves and judging this limit is the true artistry of your humanity. Misuse of power is the fatal sin and our sexual identity cannot be a tool of vengeance, nor a fortification against the martyr it has created. This is our story; we have to fulfill our destiny! We have to substitute our pain and confusion with self love, for our sexual identity are all apart of the journey to find “HIM.” WE ARE THE NEXT STEP IN THE CHAIN OF EVOLUTION, WE ARE THE WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIGHT!


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